Round up yer pumpkins!

Things were all slow and then in typical Hollywood fashion, they got busy. My next few days are as such: audition, workshop, agent interview, improv performance, web series shoot, improv rehearsal, class. The weekend is the new Mon-Wed.? I am taking next week off from being a blogger. And then oooohhh and then! Then it’s Pumpkin Week in Spring! In the meantime, enjoy a recap of the previous pumpkin dayz:

Yes, Mom, I meant to say “dayz”.

The very first of all the pumpkins madness was a savory pumpkin sandwich:

Next came a shake of oats and pumpkin:

Then there was another prettier shake recipe:

Then something terrible:

I closed out year one with waffles:

Year two! It was exciting, kiddos. First thing, I mixed pumpkin into my eggs. WHAT!?

Then I got even more wild and put it in my salsa.

Next up, I did probably my most adored recipe-in terms of people hitting the site and re-pinning, in my very of recipe for pumpkin soup.

I can never stay away from my mistress Chocolate Covered Katie for long, and on the fourth day I made her Pumpkin Bread in a Bowl and her Pumpkin “boatmeal”:

The last day was a conundrum in that the recipe could have fitted into either my un-pizza or my pumpkin weeks. Another popular recipe, it was, too. I give you, Pumpkin Cornbread Pizza:

Naturally I’ve made pumpkin more than just during pumpkin week. How can I resist all the delicious pumpkin recipes prostrating their whorish orange goodness in front of me in Autumn? There have been pumpkin chia puddings

I tried a couple of pumpkin bar recipes but will only bore you with one picture:

And once upon a time, right when I was starting a-blogging, I made a big ol’ pumpkin. And wow, my photography is not great now, but it has gotten better than this:

See y’all in a couple weeks!

Ballet russe

This gorgeous concoction’s name means Russian Ballet. More on that in a moment.
First I must bore you with my actor life. I will summarize the reading I acted in last night for the WGA Writer’s Access Project finalist scripts with this word: fan-friggin’-tastic. I felt extremely honored to be working with such awesome writers, actors, and directors. And there was a girl acting in another scene who is recurring on The Mindy Project which is a show I so need to be on so I was in awe.
And now, here is what I originally wrote for today’s post:

Us actors will sell you a load of fantasies if you let us.

Particularly about how we look. Why, I wake up with smashing black rock n roll eyeliner. That has only dripped halfway down my face in a badass way.
It did not take a hair dryer and flat iron to create this look. Oh no no, I am a wicked version of Patti Smith effortlessly:

Hollywood especially likes to lie to us about people’s bodies and what they eat. That’s why the Sex in the City ladies can down Cosmos and the calories don’t count.

And Russian ballerinas drink these and then put on those pointe shoes.

I cannot really do pointe anymore. There comes a time in a dancer’s life when she gains just enough sanity to realize that keeping all her toenails might be nice.

But ja, ya, yes I can make a killer drink called the Ballet Russe. Perhaps drink it with this Russian Mushroom-Egg dish?!

Make it, drink it. It will make you lovely and graceful…in your head. Sometimes that is all you need anyway.

Ballet Russe (From The Ultimate Bar Book by Mittie Hellmich
1 oz. vodka
3/4 oz. creme de framboise
1 1/2 oz. fresh lime juice
1/2 oz. fresh lemon juice
1 oz. simple syrup (or if you live in reality and would like to pretend this is lo-cal 2 Tbsp. Splenda dissolved in 2 Tbsp. H2O.
Shake over ice, strain and sip. You go, twinkle toes.

Chokes and Shrooms

First I shall bore you with the acting news: I got accepted into a house improv team for the Neon Venus theatre. Also, I got cast in a staged reading of scripts that were finalists in a WGA contest and I’ll be goth-ing it up for the performance next Tuesday. If you are in the industry contact moi and I’ll send you the industry invite:) I wish I could invite everyone. It is a fun scene I’m in. But alas the show is for the industry so I only get one personal guest. La-di-da, aren’t I special.

Enough about me. For now.

Last week I gave you difficult artichokes so I thought I’d make them easier this week: all you need is ability to open the can. Some even come with pull tabs.

This recipe has two of my faves. Fungi and thistles. Yah. But the ingedient that took the recipe into must-make territory was capers.
I got this recipe here from the Cooking in College blog.
So what if I’m not involved in institutional scholastic pursuits?
Based on my vocabulary you should be aware that I am a lifelong scholar, oh yes I am.

Although I should probably enroll in street smarts 101 sometime soon.

shrooms n chokes adapted from Cooking in College

1/4 cup chopped yellow onion
5 small mushrooms (I used 3 cremini, three white button), sliced
1/2 tsp. minced garlic (I used jarred)
1/4 c. Dry white wine
Wine glass for you to drink the rest of the bottle which if you are planning on doing may I suggest a Sancerre? I love a good Sancerre
1 can of water-packed quartered artichokes, drained
1 tsp. freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/2 tsp. dried basil
1 1/2 Tbsp. small capers
Olive oil spray
Spray a skillet and heat over medium. Add onion and sauté until soft. Add shrooms and sauté until soft. Add garlic, sauté a rad tad longer, then add artichoke hearts, wine, lemon, and basil and cook off the excess of liquid.
Add capers and take off heat.

Eat up, bee-yatch.

That’s the wine talking. The Sancerre. You know how the French can be.
I jest. Total Francophile here. They get to be snobs because their shit is better. It is.

All Choked Up

I cannot resist a decent pun.

I really love this. It’s all elegant looks but elegant is just egg minus a g and plus a few other letters.

Because this is really just extra-tasty egg salad.
I covered my love of remoulade, oui?

Less elegant, but easier, is to serve the dip in a bowl like a sane person:

Artichokes Stuffed with Remoulade Egg Salad (adapted from Everyday Cooking with Dr. Dean Ornish
2 artichokes, steamed or boiled
2 chopped egg whites
1/4 cup reduced fat mayo
2 Tbsp. chopped parsley
2 tsp. brown mustard
Dash ketchup
1 tsp. chives
2 tsp. sherry wine vinegar
1 tsp. capers
Slice the cooked chokes in half and use a spoon to take out the thistle-y center.
Mix the remainder of the ingredients, take and play. Love capers? Add more. Need mo mustard in your life? Go for it. For elegance, spoon into the artichokes, or just serve on the side.

Queen’s Park Swizzle (fo shizzle)

Again I beseech thee to tell me which photos are best. Do you like the first (seen above) or the second:

Do let me know. I know that I still have a ways to go when it comes to photography but I’m trying to improve, bit by bit.

Also, I’m still trying to be ahead of the trend, drink-y wise.

I never am good at doing what other people do.

I think this gets in my way. Until it BECOMES my way. As in, it’s the people who don’t fit in, who do their own thing, who end up standing out.

Or they live lonely, lonely, brilliant lives and are famous when they die. I hope that’s not me.

That thought was deep and dark. Like I like my coffee, chocolate, goth-ware.
Let’s have a drink.

The Queen’s Park Swizzle will be served at the restaurant I’m going to open someday called Pho Shizzle.

So let’s swizzle at Pho Shizzle, fo rizzle.

G’night.

Oh, and I friggin’ made the bloody crushed ice with a plastic bag of ice and a hammer, y’all.
Queen’s Park Swizzle adapted from Bon Appetit May 2010

1 1/2 Tbsp. Splenda dissolved in equal amount of H2O
12 mint leaves
1 1/2 Tbsp. fresh lime juice
1/4 c. White rum
2 cups crushed ice
1/2 tsp. angostura bitters
Mix mint, Splenda syrup and lime juice in the bottom of your glass. Muddle that shiznit. Add rum, then ice, and swizzle (or stir). Add more ice, mounding as high as you can then float the bitters.

Braised tempeh

My mistress, my lover, my one and only, i.e. my career, has kept me busy running about this year. Class! Audition! Improv! Stand-up! Writing! Screening!

This weekend she had a little soirée to attend where I praised her work in a little movie we watched that will be in the Chiller Network in May. She did ok. And I’m her worst critic. But I will be asking y’all to watch “Listen, My Children” in a couple of months.

I realized after doing stand-up last Monday (and after agreeing to do it again on the 15th!) that my mistress, Mz. Work, was tired. And hungry.

She came along when I ate at Caffe Roma to write this Blackboard Eats review, published today, but my official meat taster out-ate the both of us, as he usually does.

So I said ok, I’ll cook just for you.

I made her tempeh. And tonight I’m making her cinnamon rolls. Stay tuned!

Braised Tempeh for Your One and Only adapted from Mark Bittman’s How to Cool Everything Vegetarian

Olive oil spray
2 oz. tempeh, crumbled
3/4 tsp. minced garlic
3/4 tsp. ginger purée (I used jarred, feel free to use fresh)
Freshly ground pepper
Sea salt
1 cup diced tomato (I used canned)
1 Tbsp. soy sauce
Big handful of baby spinach
2 chopped green onions
1 Tbsp. chopped parsley
Spray a pan with olive oil and heat over medium-high. Add tempeh. Cook and stir, and when it gets a bit of color add garlic, ginger, and a sprinkle salt and pepper. Sauté a bit longer, until the tempeh is deeper colored. Add tomatoes and soy sauce, bring to a boil, then lower to a simmer until thickened. Stir in spinach, parsley and onions. Stir and cook just until the spinach wilts. Watch your lover melt in your arms after they taste it. Whee!

Strength

Strong drinks, strong woman. See how powerful I’ve become? Lifting whole boulders I am. And…lifting a microphone again. Next Monday April 1st I’m doing stand-up again at the Comedy Store, 9pm. Yikes.

What goes with comedy? Drinks, dang it.

Recently in all my mixing it up at home I’ve made awesome things, and made drafts of blog posts for them. Then before I can post them, boom, another big popular site like Bon Appetit will feature the same drink and I see little point in posting my “discovery”. Last time it was the New York sour.

SO! I am posting the Godfather AND the Dobbs, and actually kind of hope they show up everywhere. After I post this. Then I can pretend like it was all me, trailblazer that I am.

The Godfather.

Can I get a fuck yah?
It’s like an amaretto sour for people who are awesome.
If amaretto sours had bourbon in them.

Godfather from the Bartender’s Choice app, in my own words
2 1/4 oz. bourbon
1/2 oz. amaretto
2 dashes angostura bitters
Put a big ass ice cube in a chilled glass. Add everything. Everything. Stir. Sip.

And now the Dobbs! Can I tell you the happiness of not spending 30 bucks for a bottle of Fernet Branca that it would take a lifetime to use? I was so happy to see a tiny sized one, since about a teaspoon, if that, is all you need.

If you make this: Don’t be designated driver.You might be drunk on the Dobbs. Brought to you by the letter D and me, the letter after D, E.

Dobbs from The Bartender’s Choice app, inspired by Short Order, and garnished by moi
2 oz. bourbon
1 oz. sweet vermouth
A goodly rinse of Fernet Branca
2 cherries, but only if they are tasty ones like Luxardo
Chill the cup you’d like to drink from and a cup to mix in.
Pour somewhere between a dash and a dosage of Fernet into the drinking cup and rotate to coat the sides and bottom. There should be a very, very tiny bit of Fernet, but don’t dump it. In the mixing cup add the bourbon and sweet vermouth. Add ice, give it a good stirring, then drain into the drinking vessel. Drop in the cherries. Delightful. Done.