Boyfriends and bran

10 Oct

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Surely if I had one he’d desire his lady to have good digestion. Enough to make her bran muffins.

And he did. Well, my cookbook lovah Mark Bittman at least made a bran muffin recipe. When he was writing his cookbook. I need higher standards.

In the meantime I’m still seeing that classy lady, my career. Sexy wench just gave me the gift of turning a short I’m set to act in into a feature so I supposed I should reward her.

I made not one but two renditions of bran muffins. Because ladies are all about their muffins.

One version with the egg separated, for the fluffy factor, one with whole eggs. Generally girls like to keep their eggs intact but I preferred the muffin with the separated.

Then I went girly and consulted my new Joy the Baker Cookbook and made a pretty pb and j milkshake:

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As you can see I tried to make it pretty by layering in a wine glass but there was a huge amount so in the end my hot career and I just cozied up and ate this super-thick shake out of a bowl:

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These are the exciting things you can do in a long-term relationship, people. I love my career, I do I do. To us I say I do.

Make your own love muffins.
That’s all!

Bran Muffins(reduced and adapted from Mark Bittman’s How to Cook Everything Vegetarian)

2 Tbsp. applesauce
1/2 c. Flour
1/2 c. Wheat bran
1 Tbsp. honey or more maple syrup
1 Tbsp. maple syrup
1/4 tsp. salt
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 egg, separated or not
1/2 c. Almond milk
Heat ya’ oven up to 400. Hot! You and your oven. Spray 5 muffin cups with a lady-named nonstick spray or one of her cheaper knock-offs.
Mix dry stuff. Beat wet stuff. If you separated your eggs only add the yolk. Add wet to dry. Stir in until all is moistened. Don’t overdo this. Lumps are fine n dandy. If you separated your egg, you must now beat the white until stiff, but not dry peaks form. Fold in. Spoon into cups. If you have empty ones put some agua in them. Bake 20-ish minutes. Do the toothpick test.
Present them to yo lovah fo evah.

8 Responses to “Boyfriends and bran”

  1. Rose October 10, 2012 at 6:17 pm #

    These muffins are deliciously good! I can’t wait to try this.

    • Ellen October 10, 2012 at 9:34 pm #

      Go for it! They are very basic bran muffins, but quite good:)

      Sent from my iPhone

  2. Nadiya October 10, 2012 at 6:53 pm #

    Funny post! I understand ya when it comes to dating my job. I enjoy it and omg! The PB and J milkshake sounds divine, very interesting that my daddy bought me some PB today. So what’s this new acting role? :P

    • Ellen October 10, 2012 at 9:30 pm #

      Oh, the acting role is on an independent film that would be sort of complicated to explain. We don’t shoot until January so I’ll have more details then! Glad you got some Pb, in shake form it is quite a good treat:)

      Sent from my iPhone

      • Sabrina Bolin (@MyMiBoSo) October 12, 2012 at 7:20 pm #

        I second the YAYYYYYYY on the film! And I love bran, even though we’re on the outs while I eat gluten free :).

      • Ellen October 13, 2012 at 9:46 am #

        Oh…that’s right. Well I know that oat bran is a suitable substitute for wheat bran but to find the right balance of flours for a suitable fluffy gluten free adaption of this muffin might be tricky…garbanzo and rice flour might work well…although I hear the gluten free baking mixes out there are pretty decent!

        Sent from my iPhone

  3. Ameena October 16, 2012 at 6:38 am #

    A feature? Congratulations!! I am so happy for you!

    • Ellen October 16, 2012 at 11:51 am #

      Thanks Ameena! It’s a small role, but as they say, no small roles, only small actors, teehee:)

      Sent from my iPhone

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