24 Sep


Moving on! I found this recipe on the allrecipes app, took the picture with my iphone’s camera app, then played around with the picture using the Adobe Photoshop Express app. That was pretty necessary considering the shake was boring to look at on its own:

See? Boring. What is this blah-looking concoction? A Chocolate Cheesecake Milkshake, that’s what. It’s funny I wanted to make this since I don’t like cheesecake. Not plain, straight up cheesecake anyway. Highly ironic since I LOVE The Cheesecake Factory. Don’t judge me. But I do. I have a whole Cheesecake Factory ritual that involves filling up on dinner and vino there, taking home a piece of the gigantic chocolate cake big enough for four, eating it all, and passing out. It is glorious.
Also, I like non-plain cheesecake.
Things like chocolate cheesecake, chocolate peanut butter cheesecake and the like are quite wondrous things. I still had a half of a pint of Zero Ice to use up and some cream cheese on hand so the allrecipes app recipe posted by a lady(I assume she’s a lady, you never know in this wacky online world)named Denise Bradbury for a Chocolate Cheesecake Milkshake was worth a try. That sentance was one hell of a run-on. Sorry.
The recipe served four and called for “scoops” of ice cream. Which is annoying. Anyone know how much a scoop is supposed to be? I cut the recipe down to serve one and decided to use a whole cup of the Zero Ice. I think I want to make it again using more cream cheese because I did not really detect it at all. The changes I made to this included using chocolate almond milk instead of milk and the Zero Ice instead of ice cream. I also added some Equal(bad me) and a drop of vanilla extract. The funny thing is that this really reminded me of a McDonald’s shake. Which I think is FANTASTIC. If you did not lose all respect for me reading about my Cheesecake Factory love, you probably will now that you know I love McDonald’s shakes. AND their fries. Suck it, gourmands.
Sorry, that was inappropriate and mean. Won’t happen again. My brain is surely messed up from the artificial sweetener and other crazy-bad-unnatural additives I’ve been consuming.

Chocolate Cheesecake Milkshake(adapted from the allrecipes app)
2 Tablespoons reduced fat cream cheese
1 cup chocolate Zero Ice
1/2 cup unsweetened chocolate almond milk
2 packets of Equal
dash of vanilla
Blend er’ up and suck it. The right way. Not the mean way I told the gourmands to.

What are your non-gourmet and perhaps slightly shameful food likes? Please comment! Even if you are pissed about my use of the word suck and want to tell me, go right ahead:)

9 Responses to “AppHappy”

  1. Sabrina September 25, 2011 at 5:00 am #

    You’re never alone, Ellen! That said, tsk tsk on the Cheesecake Factory/McDonald’s/Equal trifecta of naughtiness!

    That said, I confess: On the rare occasion my sweet tooth and hankering for a piece of my childhood overcome me, I can be found heading to my local Mickie D’s for an Oreo McFlurry. Yep.

  2. Eleanor September 26, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    My shameful food loves tend to lead toward salty/savory. I love almost all pizza, but the shameful part is that I will occasionally get cravings for “Totinos” brand pizzas from the convenience store. Tator tots and mozzarella sticks from Sonic are also sometimes purchased….

    Luckily, I eat enough good food to compensate, I think! 🙂

    • Ellen September 26, 2011 at 8:27 pm #

      Mmm, tater tots! Incidentally, I know you hate the Factory and I respect that, the “suck it” wasn’t directed at you, or anyone really except the imaginary people in my head looking down on me for loving it. And I guess I must have been feeling saucy writing that post, haha…

      Sent from my iPhone

  3. mom September 26, 2011 at 3:22 pm #

    When I am in town, we will go to McDonald’s and share a medium fries!

    Also, what’s up with all the substitutes? Have you gone vegan? Try it with real ice cream some time. It’s actually healthier for you 🙂

    • Ellen September 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm #

      The ice cream I used isn’t vegan:) it’s just what I had on hand.

      Sent from my iPhone

  4. Lou September 27, 2011 at 6:56 am #

    My shame, oh my delicious shame is getting a Mcdonald’s chocolate sundae and some fries, and then using the fries as a spoon to eat the sundae. It’s the best salty-sweetie EVER. So so bad, but GOOD, oh so GOOD. It would be my death row meal fo sho.

    • Ellen September 27, 2011 at 7:22 am #

      That does sound gooood. Nothing like those salty-sweet combos. An extra props to you for using the term “fo sho”. Someday I’m opening a Vietnamese restaurant called Pho Sho.

  5. Lou September 27, 2011 at 9:22 am #

    I’d eat at Pho Sho, fo SHO.


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