Dark days

They aren’t over. Yet. They will be. Good things have happened in January.
Sometimes the best way to get over being down is to just indulge in it. Sulk. Get it out of your system.
I like to do this by indulging my goth-y roots. So, whilst wearing kick-arse stockings and blasting the musical stylings of the true love of my life, Trent Reznor(sorry, Bittman, you’re only my cookbook lover), I will console my angst with an equally dark dessert adult beverage: a chocolate black Russian.
It’s almost worth getting in a bad mood to make this.

What do you do for bad moods? Comment, guys, comment.

Chocolate Black Russian from the Drink Pro Lite App/strong>
1 oz. Kahlua
1/2 oz. vodka
2/3 c. Chocolate ice cream
Blend it. Sip it. Sigh. Apply black lipstick. Sigh again. Bad mood begone!

Almost a pizza…but not: un-pizza week day 5

Thank you to all who followed along on un-pizza week! There will be more theme weeks in the future, including a waffle week and the second year of pumpkin-week-in-spring. In spring.

Anyway, hope un-pizza week was enjoyed. I’m taking Saturday off but will be back next week on Wednesday with your regularly scheduled posts twice a week.

And now, to take un-pizza week home, I am going home. Or rather to a blog written in my hometown.
When I happened upon this blog, written by someone in St. Louis I was an instant fan. Particularly because she is not native to St. Louis her fondness for the city seems genuine. And St. Louis is a terrific town.

And we will keep on keepin’ on. Even without Pujols.

Have you been to or are you from St. Louis? What do you think of it? Any favorite places? Please pretty please leave me a comment and tell me!
Of the many recipes of darling Natalie’s I have bookmarked, this one for a polenta pizza seemed easy and, well, I had the stuff to make it so…well minus the pepperoni seeing as I don’t eat that.

For you gluten-free folks(you’re so liberated! I’m gluten’s bitch), I think this is ok? There is no wheat, at any rate.
This is a knife and fork affair. But calling it pizza makes it taste better.
Polenta Pizza(from The Sweets Life blog)
1/2 cup cornmeal
2 1/2 cups H2O
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup diced red bell pepper
3 cups baby spinach
1/2 cup marinara(I used a roasted onion and garlic flavored pasta sauce)
1/4 tsp. dried oreganp
1/2 cup shredded mozzerella(I used reduced fat)
Spray a 9″ pie pan with nonstick spray. Put water, cornmeal and salt in a saucepan and stir it up well. Bring to a boil then stir constantly for several minutes until it is thick. Pour into pin pan and spread evenly, then cover and refrigerate until cold.
Spray a skillet, heat to medium-high then saute onion and bell pepper until soft, add spinach and stir until wilted.
Spread 1/2 cup marinara over the cornmeal base in the pie pan. Spread veggies on top and sprinkle with oregano. Place in 450 degree oven for about 10 minutes. Add cheese and bake a few minutes more.
Give a hefty grind of sea salt and pepper in there at some point.

Is there anything cuter than a muffin? Un-pizza week day 4

Yes:

A muffin being eaten by a Totoro. And not just any muffin. A pizza muffin. Take that cuteness and add a Totoro and you may need to call in back-up.

Cuteness kills.

According to my friend I fed these to, if Hot Pockets are your thing, these would rock your world.
I’m not sure if Hot Pockets were his thing, but he ate two of these. The only two I had left.

Between hungry males and Totoros I ran out of muffins fast.

Kidding, Totoro left that muffin for me. He’s a good friend like that.

Hot Pockets, yes or no? I’ve never eaten one.

Pizza Muffins(just barely altered from allrecipes.com posted by Kathy Henson)
1(14.5) can diced tomatoes
3/4 c. flour
1/4 c. wheat bran
1 Tbsp. baking powder
1 tsp. sugar
1 tsp. dried oregano
1/2 tsp. salt
1 egg
1/4 c. melted smart balance light
1/2 c. shredded reduced fat mozzerella
Drain tomatoes, reserving 1/4 c. fluid.
Sift together flour, powder, salt, sugar and oregano and whisk in wheat bran. Combine egg, smart balance, tomatoes and tomato liquid. Add to dry ingredients. Stir in cheese. Scoop into 6 jumbo muffin cups(I imagine you could use 12 regular sized ones too). Bake at 350 for about 20 minutes.
Feed to hungry males who like Hot Pockets.

Pizza Pancake: Un-pizza Day 3

I love pancakes. But I tend to think of them as sweet and not savory.
Nevertheless.
This recipe for pizza pancakes fit my pizza theme.
Moreover.
It looked awesome.
All the same.
I knew I must make it.
It is vegan, until, like me, you add cheese. Unless it is faux cheese. I made one with melted mozzarella on top and one with a side of cottage cheese. I would be more likely to consider vegan-ism if there were a faux cottage cheese.

I’m not sure these would quell any major pizza craving.
Also I’d say this is a single serving. It makes four small cakes.

What are your favorite vegan substitutes? Do you know if anyone makes a vegan cottage cheese?

Pizza Pancakes(adapted just a tad from Heather Eats Almond Butter)
1/2 c. old-fashioned oats
1/2 c. H2O
2 Tbsp. ground flaxseed
1 Tbsp. tomato paste
1/2 tsp. dried oregano
1/2 dash dried marjaram
1/2 tsp. dried basil
1/2 tsp. dried parsley
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. onion powder
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
Freshly ground salt and pepper
Grind oats to a flour in food processor. Combine all ingredients and allow to sit 10-15 minutes to thicken. Heat up a pan or griddle over low heat. Stir batter again, spray pan with non-stick element of your choosing and cook. Doctor them up as you see fit.

Dip it up: Un-pizza day 2

If it doesn’t dip like a dip, is it still a dip?
Am I the only one who doesn’t really like the word dip? And dipstick. Yech. Something about it makes me shudder.

So while this could have been properly heated and used like a dip, I was having none of that.
I made a boatload of changes to the original recipe. I made little individual serving-lets, and baked rather than microwaved it. But feel free to double it and microwave in a pie pan if, unlike me, you have a shindig to bring it to. And people who want to get dippy wit it.
I used roasted red pepper instead of green bell pepper. I put all the mozzerella on top. There were probably a few other tweaks but I forget. So the recipe you are getting is a bit distant from the original. It is the un-pizza un-dip. That is a double negative that does not translate to a positive.
If it did it would end up like a real pizza with toppings that could be scooped with a celery stick.
I also let this chill after baking so I could unmold it and see the layers:

Pretty! Colors! Better than dippy sludge, no?
Then I left some if it chilled(ain’t nothing like cold pizza!) and reheated the other part. The verdict is it is quite tasty both ways.
As I said, I didn’t get dippy with this. I did not even try to spread it. I ate it straight up, like my salsa. Except for this I used a fork.
Hot Pizza Dip(adapted from allrecipes.com, original recipe by Dayna Dumas)
4 oz. cream cheese
1/4 tsp. dried oregano
1/4 tsp. dried parsley
1/4 tsp. dried basil
Freshly ground black pepper
Dash sea salt
1 cup shredded low-fat mozzarella
1/2 cup tomato basil pasta sauce
1/2 jarred roasted red bell pepper, sliced into long strips
1 vegetarian Italian sausage, sliced
Mix cream cheese, herbs, black pepper and salt. Spread in two small bakers or ramekins. Cover with pasta sauce, then cheese, then red bells and sausage. Bake at 350 for…I dunno, awhile. Til it is bubbly and the cheese is browning is probably the best indicator.

Un-pizza week: day one

Un-pizza!!
Because pizza week is too obvious. I’m such a rebel. Hear me yell.
Pizza-themed food that is not EXACTLY what we think of as typical pizza. It’s a brave new world of oregano flavored edibles.
Un-pizza comes in two main varieties:
Type A: Food that uses pizza flavors in different formats.
Type B: Food that uses a pizza format(solid, usually carb-y round base, spread with one or two things, with various vegetable or protein-y toppings scattered on top)but uses different flavors. I will be making mostly the former. Because a lot of the type B’s have no business using the word pizza in their name.

Example: A crisp tortilla, spread with beans, sprinkled with cheese and peppers? That is not a “Southwestern pizza”, people. It’s a tostada.

So get ready! There will be un-pizzas for pasta people, un-pizzas for anti-carb people, and ever so much more.
And as you eat them you can let that scream out. And bask in how outside the box you are.

How do you feel about Type A in-pizzas versus type B?

First up in Un-pizza week is a pizza-ish casserole. I adapted this recipe using what I had on hand from the allrecipes app called Pasghetti Pizza, posted by someone named KELMES.

I liked this. Obviously since I’m posting it. You should too. Smiley face.

Pizza Casserole(adapted from Pasghetti Pizza posted on the Allrecipes iPhone app by KELMES)
4 oz. rotini, cooked and drained
1/2 cup almond milk
1 egg
3/4 tsp. powdered garlic
3/4 tsp. salt
1 1/2 tsp. dried parsley
freshly ground black pepper
1 cup grated reduced fat mozzerella
1 3/4 c. tomato-basil pasta sauce
1 sliced vegetarian Italian sausage.
Preheat oven to 400. Spread both pastas in an 8×8 dish sprayed with nonstick spray.
Mix milk, egg, garlic, salt, pepper and parsley with 1/4 cup of the cheese. Pour over pasta. Sprinkle with 1/4 cup of cheese.
Baked 15 minutes. Reduce heat to 350 degrees. Pour pasta sauce on top, then top with sliced sausage and remaining cheese. Cook until cheese is melted.
Raaaawwwwwwrrrrr! That’s good stuff.

This should tide you over…

A gratuitous cat picture and a joke. Yes, I’m pimping out my kitty Java(named because he is black which is how I like my coffee)I had in St. Louis for your entertainment, he still lives there in the Clifford castle aka my parents’ house. But I’m giving you a joke this weekend too! I am in the throes of prepping for an exciting, scrumptious, and dare I say it? I do. Grueling week. Normally I post on Wednesday or Thursday, and Saturday or Sunday.
Next week will be just a tad different because I am doing a themed week.
I present to you: UN-PIZZA WEEK!!
What is un-pizza? You’ll have to wait and see but it will be a new recipe every single day. People who like pizza should love it, and if you don’t there is a good chance you will too.

In the meantime I leave you with this appropriate joke and if you know any good pizza jokes, please leave them in the comments!

Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his pizza?

I dunno, why?

he had to eat it before it was cool.

See y’all Monday.

First time

Don’t get yer hopes up. I meant the first time I used the big bowl of my Kitchenaid food processor. Although it is a sexy sexy red and I love it with a passion perhaps I should reserve for future lovers.
How did the consummation of our relationship play out?
Salsa success:

Clean-up fail:

Make your own dirty parallels.

Moving on.

Thank goodness I unplugged it before trying to take the bowl off. But I did not realize I should not try to remove the blade first. So much salsa spilled out the center hole. It did! Oh things going in holes. I’m going to get off this train while I’m ahead.
I never make salsa normally. You’d think I did. I eat it like crazy. With a spoon. Daily.
Sorry if that’s gross to you.
But I hate peeling tomatoes and Vons makes a terrific hot salsa.
Then I came across this recipe which called for using canned tomatoes(which I think are usually tastier than the fresh tomatoes you find at the store anyway) and decided I should give it a go.

I loooved it. With three o’s loved. The main change I made was using shallots instead of onions. I hate having onion breath. I have designs on making lots of variations now. I’m thinking a slug of Bufalo Chipotle sauce , maybe.

The more you do it, the better it gets. Both salsa making and the other.

Ever eat salsa
With a spoon? Please tell me I’m not alone on this.

From Pioneer Woman to Brown-Eyed Baker to me. Do I now stand With those bloggoddesses???
EasyEasyEasy Salsa(adapted from this here recipe on Brown-Eyed Baker who adapted from Pioneer Woman)
28 oz. can whole tomatoes with juice
2 10 oz. cans diced tomatoes with green chilies
1/4 cup chopped shallot, briefly soaked in water then drained
1 tsp. minced garlic
1 jalapeño, quartered then sliced
Juice of 1/2 a lime
Cilantro-tons and tons and then some more for good measure
1/4 tsp. Splenda
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 heaping tsp. ground cumin
Put all that goodness in our food processor and pulse til it is as chunky or watery as pleases you.

It’s Greek to me

The quiche. Unlike my confusion surrounding my Danish Potato Salad(not that Danish according to a Dane!)I get this quiche. I don’t think quiche is Greek, per se. But Greek cuisine does have things like tomatoes and feta so I get why they call this Greek. I get it. Unlike life. Which I don’t get. And I don’t think I should.
I also don’t get olives.
I hate them. Actually, it seems to run in my family on both sides-maternally and paternally.
My mom claims that one time she actually enjoyed an olive in France. One time. Clearly she was intoxicated on the vin they serve there.
All this is to say, I left the olives out of this quiche, but if you are not a Clifford, or making this for one, feel free to add some and kick up the Greek-i-ness.

Any foods you can’t stand? Is it familial?

Greek Quiche(adapted from The Big Book of Breakfast by Maryana Vollstedt)
3 eggs
1/2 c. Almond milk
1 c. Half and half
1/2 tsp. dried oregano
Freshly ground black pepper
1/2 tsp. salt
A few handfuls if baby spinach
1 c. Grated reduced fat mozzarella
1/4 c. Sundried tomatoes(soaked for five minutes in boiling water, drained, dried, chopped)
1/4 c. Sliced green onions
1/2 c. Crumbled low fat feta
Preheat oven to 350.whisk eggs, salt, pepper, oregano, almond milk and half and half. Stir in spinach, mozzarella, tomatoes and onions. Pour into a pie plate sprayed with nonstick spray. Sprinkle with feta. Bake until knife inserted in center comes out clean, around 40 minutes.

Chocolate chip oat cookies

I forgot to take a picture if these before I went took them out a-party-ing:

Fortunately they actually turned out looking more or less like the picture in The Cook’s Encyclopedia of Chocolate, where I found the recipe.
Last entry in this blog was sort of a downer. Let me give you an upper, hehe.
Cookies.
But first I’ll take you through a glorious weekend day leading to these cookies.
Slept in. Per usual whenever possible.
Worked out.
Filmed myself for a commercial audition. More and more people are having you do that, rather than holding casting sessions in person. I know most folks consider a work-free day to be good, but for me a day involving acting work is a fantastic day.
Next up, I volunteered at a no-kill cat shelter. I am known there as mopping girl, a that’s the task I usually arrive in time for. Then I pet the kitties and try to resist the urge to take them with me.
Then I drove home smelling of cat and Clorox.
Mmmmmm, cat n’ Clorox.
Checked the mail.
Got tickets in the mail for Skrillex. I’d never heard of them but my brother in Chicago told me I needed to check them out and he was gonna get me tickets. My brother rocks. His analysis of why I’d like Skrillex was
“He is actually a DJ, not a band. But he dresses in black so I figured you’d like him ;)”.
I have no idea what you speak of, brother.

Really.
Then what better way to celebrate good mail than making cookies I’d promised for my friend Lindsay’s fete, then going a-partying.
First party: My improv class and I are hard-core nerds. Using our Saturday nights to get together and improv, yo. I couldn’t stay long there…sorry improv friends! More party-rehearsals soon.
Then off to the party that I’d promised cookies for. Cookies were consumed. Wine was indulged in. Hugs were had.

That was a more or less perfect day.

Acting, cats, concerts, cookies and friends. If that’s not good living, what is?
Not much.

What makes a perfect day for you? Please pretty please comment and tell me bout’ yourself.

These are thin, slightly crispy, slightly gooey in the center cookies.
Chocolate Chip Oat Cookies(from The Cook’s Encyclopedia of Chocolate by Christine McFadden and Christine France
1 c. Flour
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1 c. Butter, softened
1 c. Sugar
1/2 c. Light brown sugar
1 egg
1/4 tsp. vanilla extract
1 c. Rolled oats(I used old-fashioned)
1 c. Chocolate chips
Sift flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.
In separate bowl cream butter and sugars. Add egg and vanilla and beat it up. Like you are a school bully. That’s not funny. Bullying is bad kids! But not when applied to cookie dough.
Add flour mix and blend in. Use spoon to stir in oats and chocolate chips.
I let the dough chill a bit. I also set some aside for munching on. Cause I’ll take dough over cookies any day. But these cookies were party-bound.
Scoop out on sprayed cookie sheets and cook in 350 degree oven for 10-15 minutes. Edges should brown but centers should be a bit soft.