Archive | May, 2012

Too busy for fancy

30 May

Two reasons to make this recipe:
2)The name

Play rehearsals are heating up! A Midsummer Night’s Dream opens in two weeks and many of my nights are in el teatro.

I would love to get all fancy and make things requiring multiple bowls and saucepans.

Hell, I even would loved to get all pretty like Katie did and make a parfait with this cherry oatmeal recipe, which requires a rest in the fridge was waiting for me to complete it when I got home and I was not in the mood to layer. I was in the mood to gobble.

The name? Well I’m in a pretty rock n roll production of Midsummer so…
So if you have a busy night ahead, start this recipe for Cherry Bomb Oatmeal
ahead. Get home and finish then eat. Be. A. Rock. Star.

And come see Midsummer! For tickets:, or by calling the studio directly at 323-601-5310
And the Facebook page:

Pancakes: the right recipe to launch FLAT

26 May

Before we dig into the gruel, I have an announcement: I started a new blog, y’all.
FLAT ACTRESS. Accessible hereThat’s right. I am flat and I think it’s super. I have a play called FLAT that I’ve performed a fair amount both here in LA and back in my hometown and I am currently writing an episodic spun-off from the play.
Not sure how often I’ll be posting on FLAT but if you are small and proud, a lover of small breasts, or just flat-supportive, please join me over at FLAT ACTRESS.
And now, appropos of my chest, I shall talk about pancakes, which is an acceptable term for small breasts because pancakes are delicious and my breasts are also good with maple syrup.

If you like the thick, fluffy pancakes, these are for you. I grew up with my dad’s denser, flatter(true story) pancakes, and I find I prefer those. But I enjoyed these.
Solid recipe. Mr. Bittman rarely disappoints.

Light and Fluffy Pancakes(reduced and just a tad altered from Mark Bittman’s How to Cook Everything Vegetarian)
1 egg
1/4 c. Almond milk
2 Tbsp. whole wheat flour
2 Tbsp. all-purpose flout
Dash salt
3/4 tsp. sweetener(I used Splenda)
1/2 tsp. baking powder
Separate egg. Beat eggs and milk. Mix flour, salt, sweetener and baking powder in another. In yet a third use clean beaters to beat that egg white until fairly stiff. Stir together yolk/milk mix with dry ingredients then fold in the whites. You’ll see some streaks if white in there, like they are not fully blended and that is ok. Heat a skillet to medium-low, spray with a nonstick spray which may or may not answer to a three-letter woman’s name, and cook yer cakes!

Chopsticks: just one perk of full brain function

23 May

One I did not manage to do with my left hand whilst healing my smashed up right arm was eating with chopsticks.

I like to gobble stuff with the sticks. Even things that you don’t need to. There is something elegant about a well-handled chopstick. Sexy, even.

However, whilst my right arm was healing and I had to be left-handed, I was busy sleeping most of my life away when whilst my brain tried repair a synapse or so so I didn’t really have too much time to miss chopsticks.

Now that I am all healed, physically, if not mentally(questionable whether that part I me was functioning pre-accident) I decided I should have more legit reasons to break out the sticks. And get choppy.

So I made this stir-fry.

Stir-fried Water Chestnuts(adapted from The Joy of Cooking,2006 version)
1 8 oz. can sliced water chestnuts, drained and rinsed
1 1/2 T. Soy sauce
1 Tsp. minced garlic
1 tsp. minced ginger
1/2 tsp. splenda
1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
1 jarred roasted red bell pepper, sliced
6 oz. trimmed snow peas
Combine soy sauce, garlic, ginger, Splenda and pepper flakes in a little bowl.
Spray a skillet and heat over medium-high. Add red bell peppers, stir and fry(stir-fry!) a minute, add snow peas and stir-fry a couple more minutes, til crisp but tender. Add chestnuts stir-fry another minute or so until they’re all tender, like my soul. Add soy sauce mixture and cook til veggies are coated and sauce is reduced a bit, a couple more minutes. Get yer chopsticks.

Keep the love

19 May

Got two recipes for y’all but you have to go over to the lovely Jessica’s site to see my guest post there. Click here: The Hostess Handbook
You get a recipe for a loving long-distance friendship, and the recipe for Campari Champagne Cocktails, i.e. the Woman’s Girly drink. Girly color, manly bitter taste. Good stuff!

And for your Madame?

16 May

Apparently women have eggs.
Yeah we do.
That’s what we are good for. That and housecleaning.

I don’t plan on using my womanly eggs, but I do like to have my way with those of the chicken variety(provided they are the cruelty-free type and yes I want picture-proof that those are happy chicks).

Madame Croque apparently felt similarly, for she took her hubby, Monsieur Croque’s favorite sandwich and doctored it up for herself with an egg.

Eggs make most things better, and the boring old’ Croque Monsieur was in desperate need of a tune-up.

Madame Croque knew what she was doing! Leave it to the woman to fix it.

Croque Madame(adapted ever so slightly from the Joy of Cooking)
2 pieces of whole wheat bread
Dijon mustard
Vegetarian “ham”
Swiss cheese
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Preheat your broiler. Spread one slice of bread with butter and Dijon, add veg ham, then second slice of bread. Put in broiler just a little, it will starting to get toasty fast so watch it. Top with cheese and broil a bit more. And a bit I mean don’t walk away from that oven. This is not the time to tweet what you are making. Cut a hole in top slice of bread, crack an egg into it and broil a minute or so longer.
If, like me, you see your bread browning at an alarming rate and the egg is nowhere near done, remove from oven and microwave until done. Who were we before Dr. Percy Spencer? A bunch of bungling fools with burned bread, that’s who.
Grind on the salt and pepper.
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For one, fo’ realz

12 May

I have to use words like “realz” to counteract the amount of Shakespeare I’m spouting. That’s right. Shakespeare. I just started rehearsals for a play, y’all. More details in future posts. Moving on.

I love single person recipes. Which gives me a tinge of sadness that they are not “for two” recipes until I remember I am cooking for me and my small-eater love, my career.

Who doesn’t love a good quesadilla? I mean really. Certainly not my career. She ate it all and left me none. She does the same thing with my time and energy, selfish whore,

But she’s really sometimes delightful and fulfilling so I’ll keep feeding her.

Good thing these are easy:

Bean and Chili Quesadilla for Uno(from How to Cook to Everything Vegetarian by Mark Bittman)
olive oil spray
1 tsp. minced garlic
1/2 poblano chili, chopped
2 Tbsp. black beans
2 tortillas(wheat or corn, I used corn-multigrain-flax ones)
1 oz. shredded cheese(I used Swiss)
Spray nonstick skillet with olive oil and heat over medium. Cook garlic and chili a couple of minutes then add beans. Transfer to a bowl and add cilantro.
Clean skillet then spray and heat again, over medium low. Put a tortilla in it and spread chili-bean mixture and cheese on it, then add another tortilla. Cook a couple minutes, til cheese starts to melt. Flip, cook a wee bit longer. Then mangia. Comate!

You get a B

9 May

I don’t get B’s. I’m anal, dammit.
That’s anal with an A.
I get A’s.

In high school, the teacher of my A-earning, type-A calculus class gave us all “mid-semester grades” supposedly to tell us how we were doing. I think it was B+’s he gave us.

We all flipped the fuck out for the next 24 hours. Next day in class he told us he did that because we were all so neurotic and stressed and he hoped we would realize there are more important things in life.


It didn’t work. We just badgered him to assure us we were not in fact getting B+’s.

I will give you B’s you want. Four B’s in fact, because I am a generous soul.

I giving you Banana Bread and Beer Bread.

But this blog entry BETTER get an A.

I made the banana bread for a friend’s birthday. Lucky him.
Banana bread(slightly adapted from Cook’s Illustrated)
1 1/2 c. Flour
1/2 c. Wheat bran
10 Tbsp. Sugar
3/4 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
3 mashed bananas
1/4 c. Plain yogurt(I used Greek)
2 eggs beaten a little
3 Tbsp. melted butter, cooled
3 heaping Tbsp. applesauce
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 1/2 oz. dark chocolate, grated(I used a Dove bar)
Put oven rack in lower-middle and preheat to 350. Line a 9×5 pan with nonstick foil and spray.
Mix flour, bran, baking soda and salt. Mix in chocolate.
In another bowl mix everything else. Fold mixtures together but don’t over-mix! Lest thy bread be squat and whatever the opposite of tender is. Blanking on the word I want.
Put it in yer pan and bake until the venerable kitchen toothpick comes out clean. Depending in your oven this may take more or less time.

Now loaf deux:


I made Beer Bread because my improv amigos left a ton of beer in my fridge. I hate beer. No one brought wine, alas. So bread seemed like a good way to get rid of at least one bottle…at least there were no PBR’s.

I didn’t love this, honestly because it was a bit too beer-y. I put butter on it and it grew on me. And if you do like beer, you’ll like this…
Beer Bread(from 75th Anniversary edition of The Joy of Cooking by Irma S Rombauer, Marion Rombauer Becker, and Ethan Becker)
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup old-fashioned oats
2 Tbsp. baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups beer( I used Sam Adams Octoberfest-Joy specifies not using a stout), room temp(Joy says cold or room temp, just not flat)
Heat up yer oven. 400 degrees Fahrenheit.
Mix everything but the beer. If you like beer sneak a sip or two first. If you don’t, hold your nose and hope the nasty beery-ness cooks off. Sip wine instead.
Fold in beer until moistened but don’t overstir. Put in a greased 8×4 pan and bake until you can stick a toothpick in the center and it comes out clean, 30-ish minutes.

What’s your favorite quick bread?