Me me me

This is a totally selfish acting post. I figure I gave you five freakin’ delicious pumpkin recipes last week, and that should tide you over nicely.
So the acting news is that I’m on the telly this Friday the 31st on the Chiller Network. It’s an anthology of five short films called “Chilling Visions: the 5 Senses of Fear” and I am in the short called “Listen My Children”. It is going I air a few times this Friday starting at 9pm eastern time and so if you get the Chiller, I do so hope you check it out! I think “Listen My Children” is the last in the line-up of shorts.
Think of it as gruel for your eyeballs.

Third Annual Pumpkin Week in Spring Day Five: Black and White Pumpkin Cookies

It ain’t a good meal if there isn’t dessert at some point. Seriously. I HAVE to have dessert every day. Just like I have to have a bedtime snack. I need a bedtime snack. I’ve practically broken up with a guy because he never had food at home. Sometimes I like my bedtime snack to be followed by it’s own special dessert. Considered breaking up with someone over that too.

Get yer mind out of the gutter Cliffy!

I am en route soon to do my second show with my improv group, Commonwealth at the Neon Venus Theatre, so I best be getting out of the gutter and into the game.

Then when the night is over I shall have rum, and maybe, just maybe, a cookie.

Incidentally, these cookies are not really black and white. They are black and beige (from the cinnamon) and orange. The world ain’t just black and white and has much more than just variants on the color grey.

Crud, I was headed back into the gutter there.

Black and White Pumpkin Cookies adapted oh so slightly from the Joy the Baker Cookbook by Joy Wilson
Cookies:
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. cinnamon
2 eggs
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup applesauce
1 15 oz. can of pumpkin
1 tsp. vanilla
White Frosting:
2 cups powdered sugar
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1 Tbsp. light corn syrup
1 tsp. vanilla extract
Up to 1 tsp. water
Chocolate Frosting:
2 oz. (about 6 Tbsp.) oz. bittersweet chocolate chips (I used Ghiradelli)
1 heaping Tbsp. butter
Pinch salt
1 Tbsp. light corn syrup
FOR COOKIES:
Heat the oven to 325 F, line a baking sheet or two with nonstick foil.
Sift flours, baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon. In another bowl whisk your eggs and sugar. Put some muscle into it, you want it to get jut slightly lighter in hue. Then whisk in pumpkin, applesauce and vanilla. Fold in the flour mixture until totally incorporated. Dollop by heating tablespoons onto the sheet and spread to a 2-inch circle. Bake, start checking around ten minutes doing the clean toothpick test. When you stick it in the middle and it comes out clean, take them out if the oven and put pan on a wire rack for ten minutes, then grab a spatula and move cookies to the wire rack to cool.
FOR GLAZES:
Whisk powdered sugar, corn syrup, vanilla and cinnamon, adding water drop by drop if necessary until it is spreadable.
Melt the chocolate and butter. I put my chocolate in the microwave for 2 minutes at 50 percent power, then add butter and stir. Continue to zap at 50% for shorter periods of time, stirring when you stop, until it is melted. Add the salt and corn syrup.
Turn the cookies over so you are putting the frosting on the flat side. Spread on, half and half, then give them some time for the frosting to get firm. Teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony. Then eat.

Third Annual Pumpkin Week in Spring Day Four: Pumpkin Black Bean Soup

Omg you guys, there’s like, totally another Ellen. I’m not talking about Degenerous either. There’s another Ellen food blogger who calls her blog Ellen in the Kitchen and naturally I am seized with the fear that she may be prettier, recipe-er and wittier than I. So I say to myself, “Cliffy, it ain’t a competition”, which is true. At least that is what I’m saying to myself. I must say she did well with this soup which I changed only a little bit from the original recipe.

Pumpkin black bean soup is luscious, it almost has chocolate notes. That was the only inspired prose I had for you.

So I fed it to the same gentleman who gave me the description of “gourmet McNuggets” when I asked him about his sweetbreads, and this description made it past my editor at Blackboard Eats in my Joe’s review, so naturally I will quote him here.

He said “tastes like autumn”.

Feel the brilliance.

He also mentioned that this bowl of autumn would be good with croutons. He was eating the last of my soup (I accidentally typed soul instead of soup which may be accurate too) when he mentioned the croutons so I didn’t try it yet.

Perhaps one of you would like to prove him right.

Pumpkin Black Bean Soup adapted from this here blog
1 cup pumpkin purée
1 can o’ black beans (about half of them mashed with a fork)
1 cup of diced tomatoes (I used canned)
Olive oil spray
1/4 c. Diced onion
1 clove minced garlic
2 tsp. cumin
1/2 tsp. kosher salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. allspice
1/4 tsp. ground black pepper
Dash cayenne
2 c. Veggie broth
It’s easy. Spray a pot with olive oil. Sauté the onion and garlic in it. Add everything else. Simmer to thicken. Purée with ye olde immersion blendere.

Third Annual Pumpkin Week in Spring Day Three: Pumpkin balls

I must interrupt this regularly scheduled pumpkin post to pimp my acting. I had the joy of acting in this lil’ ditty:

Beware the Gluten Monster!

Now onto this recipe. Which is NOT free of The Dreaded Gluten.

Pumpkin balls?
Hell to the friggin’ yes.
This is Thanksgiving in a ball.

Pumpkin Balls adapted from the allrecipes app
Olive oil spray
1/4 c. Onion, chopped
1/2 tsp. minced garlic
1 tsp. dried sage
1 1/2 pieces wheat bread, toasted and crumbled
6 Tbsp. pumpkin purée
2 Tbsp. beaten egg
1/4 tsp. salt
1/8 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
Heat the oven to 375 F. Spray a pot with olive oil and sauté the onion until soft and clear, then add garlic and sage and sauté a bit longer. Transfer to a bowl and stir in everything else. Shape into balls. Put them on a greased or Pam-ed baking sheet and bake until firm, around 15 minutes.

Third Annual Pumpkin Week in Spring Day Two: Pumpkin protein pancakes

In a shocking move on my part, I’m going to say these are not the pancake to put butter on.
Observe cottage cheese and cinnamon topping.
It’s Tuesday. You’re busy, I’m busy (doing my mistress) and I think I should just get on with the goods.
Pumpkin Protein Pancakes from the NuNaturals recipes originally from Foods of April
1/2 c. Cottage cheese
1/2 c. Liquid eggs whites(3-ish)
1/2 c. Pumpkin
1/3 c. Oats
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ginger
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking powder
A few drops of liquid stevia
Use a blender, food processor or immersion blender(weapon of my choice) and blend.
Heat up a pan or griddle, give a spray of something non-stick, and cook em up.

Third Annual Pumpkin Week in Spring Day One: Not’cho Cheese Macaroni

Oh that wild n’ crazee Kelly. If she spelled her name Kelli, “wild n’ crazee” would be wyld and cray-cray and have completely different and kinki connotations. And that is a fact.

As it is, Kelly with a Y keeps her craziness to the kitchen, and puts pumpkin in pasta. Because where there is one P another is sure to follow.

Enough alphabet madness.

Pumpkin Noocheeze Mac adapted from
this recipe

1 package shirataki macaroni
1/2 cup almond milk
3 Tbsp. nutritional yeast
1/2 tsp. minced garlic
1/2 bay leaf
1 tsp. Dijon mustard
1/2 cup canned pumpkin
Freshly ground salt and pepper to taste
Drain zee macaroni. Rinse it very well, then microwave for a minute. Rinse it again, then put in a colander and drain it to be as dry as possible. You might even blot it.
Bring the milk and bay leaf to a boil. Whisk in the yeast, garlic, an Dijon. Cook a couple more minutes to thicken. Whisk in pumpkin, when it is as thick as you want it add the noodles and grind in salt and pepper to taste. Remove the bay leaf. You’re done, now dine.

Round up yer pumpkins!

Things were all slow and then in typical Hollywood fashion, they got busy. My next few days are as such: audition, workshop, agent interview, improv performance, web series shoot, improv rehearsal, class. The weekend is the new Mon-Wed.? I am taking next week off from being a blogger. And then oooohhh and then! Then it’s Pumpkin Week in Spring! In the meantime, enjoy a recap of the previous pumpkin dayz:

Yes, Mom, I meant to say “dayz”.

The very first of all the pumpkins madness was a savory pumpkin sandwich:

Next came a shake of oats and pumpkin:

Then there was another prettier shake recipe:

Then something terrible:

I closed out year one with waffles:

Year two! It was exciting, kiddos. First thing, I mixed pumpkin into my eggs. WHAT!?

Then I got even more wild and put it in my salsa.

Next up, I did probably my most adored recipe-in terms of people hitting the site and re-pinning, in my very of recipe for pumpkin soup.

I can never stay away from my mistress Chocolate Covered Katie for long, and on the fourth day I made her Pumpkin Bread in a Bowl and her Pumpkin “boatmeal”:

The last day was a conundrum in that the recipe could have fitted into either my un-pizza or my pumpkin weeks. Another popular recipe, it was, too. I give you, Pumpkin Cornbread Pizza:

Naturally I’ve made pumpkin more than just during pumpkin week. How can I resist all the delicious pumpkin recipes prostrating their whorish orange goodness in front of me in Autumn? There have been pumpkin chia puddings

I tried a couple of pumpkin bar recipes but will only bore you with one picture:

And once upon a time, right when I was starting a-blogging, I made a big ol’ pumpkin. And wow, my photography is not great now, but it has gotten better than this:

See y’all in a couple weeks!

Ballet russe

This gorgeous concoction’s name means Russian Ballet. More on that in a moment.
First I must bore you with my actor life. I will summarize the reading I acted in last night for the WGA Writer’s Access Project finalist scripts with this word: fan-friggin’-tastic. I felt extremely honored to be working with such awesome writers, actors, and directors. And there was a girl acting in another scene who is recurring on The Mindy Project which is a show I so need to be on so I was in awe.
And now, here is what I originally wrote for today’s post:

Us actors will sell you a load of fantasies if you let us.

Particularly about how we look. Why, I wake up with smashing black rock n roll eyeliner. That has only dripped halfway down my face in a badass way.
It did not take a hair dryer and flat iron to create this look. Oh no no, I am a wicked version of Patti Smith effortlessly:

Hollywood especially likes to lie to us about people’s bodies and what they eat. That’s why the Sex in the City ladies can down Cosmos and the calories don’t count.

And Russian ballerinas drink these and then put on those pointe shoes.

I cannot really do pointe anymore. There comes a time in a dancer’s life when she gains just enough sanity to realize that keeping all her toenails might be nice.

But ja, ya, yes I can make a killer drink called the Ballet Russe. Perhaps drink it with this Russian Mushroom-Egg dish?!

Make it, drink it. It will make you lovely and graceful…in your head. Sometimes that is all you need anyway.

Ballet Russe (From The Ultimate Bar Book by Mittie Hellmich
1 oz. vodka
3/4 oz. creme de framboise
1 1/2 oz. fresh lime juice
1/2 oz. fresh lemon juice
1 oz. simple syrup (or if you live in reality and would like to pretend this is lo-cal 2 Tbsp. Splenda dissolved in 2 Tbsp. H2O.
Shake over ice, strain and sip. You go, twinkle toes.