her name was barbera…no wait laura oh fuck

13 Apr

This is a Barbera d’Alba named Laura so I was right on both counts and both would burst my lady cherry. If you know what I am saying.

Oh shit! And “Laura”? For all her benign smoothness this lady is biodynamic. So she is the svelte hippie who is somehow about to go to Harvard to get her law degree. That is THE PERFECT metaphor.

And like, she has sediment but that is totes sexy.

I used to say I was not into Italian wine but I guess I didn’t know what I would like until I saw (tasted) it. I like Barberas. I also tend to enjoy the occasional Chianti or Mount Etna booze. But Barbera is the bees jiving knees.

Barberas are lovely demure lasses. They are sexy but wearing midis and cute flats. I enjoy their company.

This one?

2013 Principiano Barbera d’Alba DOC “Laura” Piedmont

I do seem to prefer northerly Italian wines. So I choose this guy. Girl.

The nose says May day even though it is April. This gal does not have legs. Which is fine. A Barbara does not need legs because she has breeding.

She has cherry but probably slept with a few other berries in her family’s past.

Next time I swear I am challenging myself to describe a wine in male terms.

But onwards with this lady.

Tannins? Nah. Acid? Fuck yeah a tiny bit but only if you don’t text her by tomorrow. Well there is an essence of lemon? Have I ever sensed lemon in a red wine? Well I have now.

This svelte but not malnourished babe has some refreshing lemon to her. And…just like nice grapes. Like really stellar, almost frozen on a summer’s night red seedless grapes such as I procure at Ralph’s aka a generic supermarket ala Safeway. All of which to say without snobby pedigree but no less enjoyable.

All in all, she is a classy lass. 

4 Responses to “her name was barbera…no wait laura oh fuck”

  1. The Wine Culturist April 13, 2016 at 5:41 am #

    Nice description!

  2. GiGi Eats Celebrities April 13, 2016 at 3:28 pm #

    LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh fuckin’ hell, WHO ARE YOU BITCH! This wine is clearly having some IDENTITY ISSUES!

    • Ellen April 13, 2016 at 3:35 pm #

      Yeah, I mean she doesn’t even know her name! Next time I’m drinking a wine named Fred or something…

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