Archive | July, 2016

Canned Cuvee for Those Times When You Literally Just CAN

26 Jul

Get it? Get it? You just CAN?!!

This little can of forget-your-woes is an Italian bubbly.

History will tell you I am not opposed to canned bubbly booze. With straws, even.

History will tell me I am rarely too big on Italian wine, but times they are a-changing.

Some Italian wines are growing on me. For example, while I’ll pass on the fava beans but I will take brains and a nice Chianti. Minus the brains.

Perhaps the American palate just likes too much of anything, but the Italian vinos I used to encounter in the USA tended to be…too much of one element or another for me to like. Too woody, too tannic, even too acidic, which is hard to do with me seeing as I have approximately zero acid receptors in my taste buds. But some people love a ridiculously big  Barolo that would need 20 years of aging for me to find acceptable.

Because I have become a wine asshole. I was about to say wine snob but my spoiled-brat opinions make me feel like a major jerk.

But! I am finally finding the Italian vinos I dig. So please don’t take offense to my previous misgivings. I have found I enjoy wines from the northerly side of Italy more. From the Veneto, for example.

Presto (procured at Whole Foods) is labeled as a “sparkling cuvée” so who knows the precise methods of production. The can says it is bottled by a company in Fidenza, Italy which is in Parma, just west and depending-where you are in the Veneto (home of Prosecco), south of the Veneto. But maybe it is made in the Veneto. Have I mentioned that I FUCKING LOVE VENICE although I was only there for too brief an evening. When I was a kid so no vino for me. But of all the places in Italy I was lucky enough to visit the Venice was the best.

Now, I had previously been a snob against bubblies. Not that true Champagne is my pinnacle bubbly. I usually like Cava better. But I am guessing this bubbly is made differently from those two types. It was most likely made like Prosecco, with its second fermentation happening in a big steel tank as opposed to in the bottle.

Perhaps a can is the perfect delivery method for tank-fermented bubbly? It goes with the whole easy-going vibe of “let us just ferment a big ol’ batch in a tank” that comes with these wines.

Let us be clear that we should not expect massive amounts of bubbles in this. The can states that it is a “frizzante” which means the wine is only lightly bubbly. “Spumante” would indicate full-on bubbles.

As for the color and the aroma and such well…this is in a can. D’oh. If you want to figure out the nose pour it in glass. And for bubbly use a large all-purpose or tulip glass for goodness sake–coupes and flutes are cute and stylish, but you get the best experience in a bigger glass. You will get the nose without the bubbles going away too quickly. Got your glass? Now take a whiff. You’ll get fresh orange, grapefruit and honeysuckle notes. But even not poured in a glass you are gonna get the same things on your tongue. There is a hint of bready and yeasty notes. Medium in body. Happy in mind. For a serving of bubbly it is decent on wallet. I can endorse Presto.

After trying some in the glass try sipping from the can and…there is a hint of flippin’ Sprite, no joke. But that is good.

Honestly I thought it was gonna be shitty but… I may need to get more of this shiznit. 

I may be getting a wee bit tipsy as I am sitting here sipping and analyzing and writing for you.


This could be a snazzy pool party drink. For all the theoretical pool parties I am attending.

Which as a vampire I will not be. But I will still sip this canned sparkly delight.

I want to be the girl with the most rosé

19 Jul

I was having a Courtney Love moment. It was a moment like “I am so bummed and hating myself so much I am gonna put on a ratty slip and too much makeup and get intoxicated” moment. 

Whilst watching “Blood Into Wine” because 90’s music. And panic attacks yeaaaaaaa. 

Ps the film is about the wine made by the singer of Tool, Maynard Keenan. Caduceus is the name of the wine. I promise to get my hands on some. Especially because he named one of the wines after his mom–named Judith–which is also my mum‘s name. I will try some soon as I can get it. 

Anyway all this homage to the 90’s made me wonder what the venerable blonde lovely Mzzzz Love would drink?

I mean ideally, in my imagination it is whiskey.

But in terms of wine I think French wine, mais oui. I am not sure why France. But I feel like Courtney would chill out happily there. And the wine is pink because it is not cake but it might as well be pretty. 

I went with a 2015 specimen from Provence:

Chateau Trians Rosé Coteaux Varois

Also, just watch the movie and go to around somewhere between minute 35 and 40 to hear a great take on screaming your angst into the ether. Then listen to some Tool. Also around 1 hour 10 minutes there is the lovely gem “if you have a Walmart palate you have a Walmart palate”. Loving wine is all about being open to it. ALL of it. 

So let’s get into the wine of this week. It is made from 60% Grenache, 30% Cinsault, 10% Syrah. 13.5% alcohol by volume.

It is a pale peachy salmon color. Smells of cold peach ice cream and perhaps a wet rock (limestone? Slate?) that is wet because a lemon was squeezed over it. Jesting but I’m not.

On the gosh darnit tongue: dry, medium-minus acid, medium body. The flavors? Frozen strawberries (yes FROZEN it tastes different I promise ye) and, maybe honeydew? Some mellow tartness of sweetness like a kumquat rind. The minerality is there and delightful. And by minerality I mean that lemon juice on boulders bullshit I was speaking of earlier.

Reading other tasting notes I saw wild strawberries and red currants referenced a lot but I don’t have a lot of wild strawberry experience. The only currant experience I have is black currant jam. Hence my inability to reference them.

Anyway, if it were 90’s Courtney perhaps she would turn her nose up until I mentioned it was like 12 bucks for this super duper sipper. I dunno. Anyway I liked this one for the price. I would pay up to, say, 30 for it were I you, because I, personally usually spend between 10 and 20 for a bottle but it is a good deal. I am into it. It’s somewhere between I-want-very-good and I-do-not-want-to-think-too-too-much.

So that is that. But I still want to be the girl with the most cake.

Okay going online to find Tool wines.

Rosé I don’t want to love

13 Jul

I’m a bit off on a lot of these “we will pick the wine you like based on our quizzes and your ratings thangs”.

Problem is one of them has a rosé I would sit around and drink every flipping night. So ya know log on to Lot 18 and order all the Mythmaker Rosé you can.

Here is a link. There ya go. If you want rosy goodness.

I mean, you can order it to be sent to me I would not quibble with the idea. Hint.

Just kidding if like me you are ordering wine because you are going to drinking it soon and maybe you will share but the person ought to be there to clink glasses with. So LA (or StL of Chicago or NYC) wine drinkers order this shiznit and tell me and I will figure a way to be there and ‘clink’ my glass with you.

We could even skype-clink! my darlings.

All of which to say is let’s drink this pink stuff together.

Get on board. I found it due to the Tasting Room site linked to Lot 18 but I say just go to Lot 18 and order a cart of Mythmaker. I had had one. And I ordered more and the rest of my clubs’ guesses were meh so I say just get this rosé which I shall now describe:

It is…medium in body for a rosé.

It says peach. It says raspberry.

It says I am the color of salmon but fuck me if I taste of fish.

There will be no more fucking.

Just sweet loving without penetration.

Ewwwww remind me to avoid these weird metaphors.

All of which to say it is salmon in color. If the salmon had a fever making it more reddish.

The acid is medium.

There are peaches as I mentioned and there is an ice cream sundae with a raspberry sauce pooled over it so you are like “is this just raspberry sorbet?” And it almost is  bit with the acid, and hint of creamy that you get and……..

There is a flower in there. Maybe a white one.





Which is annoying since I would like to unsubscribe from the club were the wine not so fucking yum.

Oh life.

Problems could be worse.

Love yourself be glad you are able to read this Bologna and g’night dear dears. Life is fine.

Just fine. 

White zin-NOT!

5 Jul

Oh shit! The I-think-I-passed-my-test nerd in moi just wants post my metaphorical review. The wine pseudo-professional in me wants to give tasting notes.

2015 Pedroncelli Dry Rosé of Zinfandel Dry Creek Valley

As you can see I did not dally in my support of this gold–this PINK gold–because y’know analyzing n stuff–when the wine is great I wanna talk.

Let’s give a combo of metaphor and true analyzation . This is a dry wine. Not my teenage party vino. But it is simple. In a nice berry-rich way.

It is a rich rich shade of almost-true-red pink and holds almost as much flavor as color. 

There are peach and roasted strawberry notes. There is a fair amount of bracing acid (me likes!) and it could make both a wine snob and a know-nothing relatively content. Unless they want sweet wine. In which case I cannot help. 

Sweet? This is not. Gooooood? Fuck. Yah.