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food separation from a heart sick person

20 Apr

  
For years this recipe stared me in the face. I’d open the Bon Appetit issue to it and put it in my little cookbook holder stand thinking if I saw it, some day I’d get inspired early enough to get all components made and chilled in due time.

The picture you see above is just one reconfiguration of this Deconstructed Black Forest Cake. Much as I adore various pairings of sandwich material, I also love the idea that each bite of this cake can be a different combo of the cake, chocolate pudding, whipped cream, red wine cherries, and…all kept properly hydrated by the shot of kirsch:

  
Making this became a fantasy. One of those “some day” things I didn’t think I’d ever actually get around to.
Then I was dating someone and I knew I was into him because I started fantasizing about what I’d cook him. This was a likely suspect for pleasing what I knew of his tastebuds.
And then that prospect didn’t work out. As in, I never even got the chance to ply him with my womanly cake wiles. 
In a spate of “fuck that I don’t need ANYONE to cook FOR” the fantasy of making this became reality one Friday night when I got home earlier than expected.
I am all I need.
Except for sex. I could use a male for that but he isn’t here (as in doesn’t exist) at the moment.
But fuck it. I have cake and wine and a career (my true lover) not to mention my family and friends and stuff so I shall survive. And I have cake.

I cut my cake with a star cookie cutter because I am a superstar. Hehehe. As in “don’t you remember you told me you love me baby”. Except I was not that fond of the fellow. It never came even remotely close to the L word. Cause that is REAL scary. Hell, I have a hard time giving someone a second date.
Problem is, it is rare I start to think anyone is worth a romantic thought so when I do start to be even remotely interested in someone I take things too hard when they don’t turn out as I’d wish.

UGH.
And UGH.
And UGH FUCK!
And someday my cake and wine loving prince will come.

I’m gonna get a cat.

Fuck this cake is worth it. 

Also no more writing recipes when high on no sleep/sugar/wine.

Enjoy.

Deconstructed Black Forest Cake adapted from this Bon Appetit recipe

For cake:
1/4 cup butter
6 Tbsp. light brown sugar
1/2 beaten egg
1 1/2 Tbsp. natural cocoa powder
scant 1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/16 tsp salt
1/4 tsp. vanilla
6 Tbsp. sifted cake flour
2 Tbsp. and 2 tsp. yogurt (origial recipe calls for sour cream
3 Tbsp. hot coffee
For chocolate fudge pots:
1 oz. bittersweet chocolate (I used Ghiradelli’s)
1 cup 1/2 and 1/2 (recipe calls for heavy whipping cream)
pinch salt
1 1/2 egg yolks
2 Tbsp. sugar
For sauce:
1 cup frozen dark sweet cherries
2 Tbsp. + 2 tsp. sugarplus a pinch more
2 Tbsp. + 2 tsp. dry red wine (I had a pinot noir on hand)
To finish:
whipped cream (I used Reddi-whip_
A shot of kirsch
For cake:
Preheat oven to 350 F. Create an approximately 35-square inch baking pan. I did this by taking foil and pressing it into half an 8X8 pan. Butter or use nonstick spray to grease. Beat the butter in an electric mixer until smooth. Toss in the sugar and egg and beat until light and fluffy. Hurl in the cocoa, baking soda, salt and vanilla and incorporate. Blend in the half the flour then half the yogurt and repeat. Gradually blend in coffee until smooth. Add to the pan and bake about 25 minutes, until you put a toothpick in the middle and it comes out clean. Let cool on rack and then chill until cold. Bon Appetit says 4 hours but I sped this up with my freezer.
For fudge pots:
Preheat oven to 325 F. Put the chocolate in a bowl. Bring half and half and salt just to a oil then pour over chocolate and whisk it until all is nice and smooth. In another bowl whisk the yolks and sugar. Slowly whisk in the chocolate mixture. Put back into pot over medium-low heat and cook, stirring constantly until somewhat thickened, about 5 minutes. Don’t let it boil. Distribute into 5 ramekins (1/4 cup each) and put ramekins into a deep pan. Add water to into deep pan halfway up the sides of ramekins. Cover the whole shebang with foil and bake until set, between 35 and 40 minutes. Take ramekins out of pot. Cool 15 minutes then let chill in fridge, uncovered until cold (3 hours?).
For sauce:
Put cherries (unthawed) and sugar in a small pan and stir over medium heat for 2 minutes. Add wine and stir and simmer until ever so slightly thickened. Strain over a bowl. Pour juices back into pot and put cherries in a bowl. Boil the juices until reduced to about 2 Tbsp. then pour over cherries and chill.
To serve, slice (or get fancy with cookie cutters) the cake. Each person gets some cake, a pudding, a spoonful of cherries n sauce, a bit of whipped cream and a shot of kirsch. Whee! Yah. Since I made this for me I ate a huge portion of cake and sauce, one pudding, a whole container of whipped cream and, well, a shot of kirsch was enough. But then I had also indulged on extra wine.

Dunham Daiquiri

23 Mar


I have major issues spelling daiquiri. And I am generally a good speller. But I keep getting tripped up on this one. I keep wanting to add a c. I think that is because there is a thing called a dacquoise. It is layers of meringue and buttercream and I really want to make one. And maybe I will have time now that my web series is done.

Done for now. This was the “Girls” series finale drink! But I plan to keep making funny drink-making videos maybe every month or so.

I wanted to make something to honor Lena Dunham. Since she is a writer I thought a riff on a writer’s favorite drink would be apropos. I recently discovered the joys of a well-made daiquiri, and since Ernest Hemingway has one named after him I thought a Dunham Daiquiri was in order.

I turned to my arrangement of random booze and started playing. Then I asked the cocktail subreddit if they had ideas. Then I experimented more. This involved multiple tries to get a good balance. But I think I have it.

One more note–in the video somehow me adding the lime juice got edited out. But I did add it.

Here ya go:
Dunham Daiquiri a variation by moi
2 oz. rum (the clear type–I used Bacardi which is not fancy but not bad)
1 oz. freshly squeezed lime juice (don’t use pre-squeezed, if you do you may as well not bother)
1/2 oz. demerara simple syrup (combine two parts demerara sugar to one part water in a small saucepan and heat and stir until it is dissolved–don’t let it boil!)
1/2 oz. tawny port
1/4 oz. fernet branca
Shake it up.

The GodDaddy

16 Mar


This episode was called Daddy Issues. Only two more of these acting-career-oriented posts I promise.
There is a drink called the Godfather I felt could use some sprucing up.  I called my mom’s dad Granddaddy.
Hence the multiple reasons the GodDaddy was born. A riff on Godfather and not to be confused with Godaddy. Great website host. Terrible drink I’m sure. 

 
THE GOD-DADDY a riff on the classic Godfather 

  • 2 oz. rye 
  • 1/2 oz. amaretto 
  • 1/4 tsp. syrup from Luxardo cherries 
  • dashes angostura

Stir n strain. 

Candy, Jason and Reese’s

9 Mar


This week’s episode of my dear darling Girls on GIRLS web series was Bridgid-less but guest-full.

Are you ever weirded out by art imitating life? The day I happened to have Jason Stuart, a comedian who is quite at home talking about being gay was the day that a character on the show we were discussing comes out to his wife. Whaddaya know. Jason and I both were into the serendipity of that moment. For all Jason’s work including his own web series go here.

And then there was my need for a dessert drink.

And along came Candy Washington, who I have the biggest woman crush on. She’s spectacular. Check out her goodness here. And Candy’s taste in candy is top-notch. We share a favorite: Reese’s peanut butter cups. You really cannot do better in the candy game. It is the simplest and the best. Like her!

The Candy Washington. Now with more alcohol.

Shake it up.

The Candy Washington an original by Ellen Clifford

2 oz. dark creme de cacao 1 oz. vanilla vodka

1 oz. Bailey’s Irish cream

1/2 oz. 1/2 and 1/2

1 Tbsp. powdered peanut butter (I used Just Great Stuff)

1 tsp. Dutch process cocoa powder (I used Hershey Special Dark)

mini Reese’s peanut butter cups

Shake all but the peanut butter cups. Strain into chilled glass. Spear mini pb cups on toothpicks to garnish.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Daughter

2 Mar


This week I wanted to make something that would pay homage to teachers. So I thought of apples. But WHO THE FUCK EVER LIKED and apple martini? Grody. But Apple Martin?

Why not?

I do love Coldplay.

So Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter it was. With APPLETON Estate Rum and Calvados (an APPLE brandy). Most people probably don’t have this sitting around home but who lives like Gwyneth? You gotta make the effort. Fast forward to about 5 minutes 20 seconds in for the drinks portion, should you not want to hear our musings on art and exes.

Gyneth Paltrow’s Daughter, an original by Ellen Clifford
1 oz. Appleton rum
1 oz. calvados
1 oz. Averna
1 tsp. cinnamon simple syrup (see recipe)
2 dashes Fee Bros. Aztec Chocolate bitters
1 orange twist
Shake with ice and strain then garnish with orange twist.
Cinnamon syrup: Bring equal parts sugar and water to a boil until sugar dissolves. Toss in a couple cinnamon sticks. Allow to sit overnight then strain. Keep refrigerated.

The Bridgid plus showbiz

23 Feb


You guys I promise in a month when GIRLS is over I will get back to posting non-drink recipes. In the meantime…Please make The Bridgid:
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Modeled after a cocktail Bridgid really liked at Basic, a bar in Brooklyn.
If you just want the recipe go about 6 minutes 45 seconds in.
Girl on GIRLS is hobbling along. We got to be special guests on a much larger after show last week which was wicked exciting! And this week comedian Rakefet Abergel is our special guest so that’s nifty.

In other acting news I had a part in a legit movie (starring Rosanna Arquette-the Oscar winner Patricia’s sis and most importantly, star of “Desperately Seeking Susan”)
That also was wicked exciting.

And I’m gonna do some sketch comedy I wrote in March. Woot! And wicked. Bridgid will be in that with me so get to the Nerdist theatre in March for some funny.

And then there is just the ample booze to cover my pain.

The Bridgid made up by me with assistance of THE Bridgid
Makes 2 cocktails
First, put just a tiny smidgen of absinthe in each coupe, swirl and dump (or if you are me, drink, the excess). Put in freezer until ready to strain.
Next, stir over ice and strain into a chilled coupes:
1 oz. citron vodka
3 oz. gin
1 1/2 oz. Campari
1 oz. dry vermouth (I use Martini and Rossi)
1 oz. Cointreau
6 dashes Peychaud’s bitters

The Pink-ies Up, or, When I Went to Teavana

30 Jan

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Well crap. I found another food rabbit hole I could see myself going down. Or maybe I should say another sensory rabbit hole–I did a perfume smelling recently that was so similar to wine tasting that I would have left intoxicated even if my friends had not poured a round of port to keep our mouths occupied whilst our noses did the heavy lifting.

But perfume is a rabbit hole for another blog. I wanted to learn of tea. Actually that’s not true. I hadn’t thought much about tea then Teavana was all “come play with teas with us” and I all like “totes!” Except you know that is sort of a lie because I would never say totes in a non-ironic sense of the word. I just said “yes”.

And then I said “extra yes please” (to myself anyway) as I contemplated the tea cocktail possibilities. Fast forward to about 6 minutes 45 seconds to see the cocktail. Or watch it all because we’re funny and stuff:


Let’s start with the Teavana wrongs: so corporate.

Okay I am done.

What Teavana gets right: The passion of the people making tea there. The pure rock sugar crystals they gave me to add to my ever-growing sugar collection (I’ve got nine types of sugar now). The really uber-cool tea brewer thingamajig where you load sweetener and tea in and let er’ rip then set the sucker down on top of your cup and like magic it drains out the bottom into the vessel you will bear to your thirsty lips.
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Oh and feast your eyeballs on these big ol’ containers of rock. Sugar:
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And then the tea blends. They are pure products. I was tempted to actually snack on some such as the citrus lavender sage blend. Hunks of dried fruit in an herbal and mildly herbal blend? Yes please. Another snack tea was the (unfortunately) excellent peppermint white chocolate blend. Unfortunate because I would sooooo turn up my nose at it if it didn’t smell like heaven and make as good an ice cream topping dry as it does steeped in to tea submission.

They have a good thing going there. A whole wall full of flavors that can be mixed and matched and sniffed and swirled. It was like wine tasting but I didn’t need a designated driver.

Enough of the praise. Let’s booze this shiz-nit up! Because I hate driving enough to create a situation requiring a driver. I made a cocktail with gin and the grapefruit strawberry green tea blend I brought home. I added homemade limoncello and fresh grapefruit juice. Lastly came a dose of bitters, and eventually (as you will see in the video) an extra garnish. So WATCH if you haven’t yet. Ooh, and making a pink cocktail gave reason to make a punny name for me tea-based drink: The Pink-ies Up

Funtimes! Happy! Come fetch my tipsy arse and take me home dear driver!

The Pink-ies Up an original Ellen Clifford tasty delight
For infused gin:
1/2 cup gin (I like Hendrick’s)
1 1/2 tsp. strawberry grapefruit green tea mix
Steep for about 45 minutes then strain. You’ll know the time is right when the gin is pink.

For the drink:
1 1/2 oz. infused gin
1/2 oz. freshly squeezed pink or red grapefruit juice
1 oz. limoncello
4 dashes Angostura bitters
extra dry tea mix to garnish
Shake all but the extra tea with ice. Strain into chilled glasses. Sprinkle on some dry tea.

Pink-ies Up!

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