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11 Aug

Don’t drink, kids.
This was to use up the half n half from the Colorado Bulldog.
I put this off cause it seemed caloric, but all the drinking I’ve done has been in ye spirit of fuck calories so I made it. Yep.
And it’s summer and Frostbite sounded just about right.
What’s in a name?
What’s in the taste?
Even more.
I will have to give you another recipe to use your leftover half n half on, because you probably should not make this.

If you are into smurf-y looking weird tasting overly tequila-esque drinks, go for it, make this.

If not, stay away. After toasting with myself in the mirror for your viewing pleasure I dumped this. So much for the caloric worry. But I refilled with a chilled zin. The red kind, duh.

You will actually be getting a food recipe that uses half n half on Wednesday. Now here is what you probably will not make:
Frostbite(from the Ultimate Bar Book by Mittie Hellmich)
1 1/2 oz. tequila(I used Sauza blanco)
3/4 oz. blue curaçao(the pretty maker)
1/2 oz. creme de cacao
1/4 oz. creme de menthe(again with the pretty)
2 oz. half n half
Shake all over ice. With vigor. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Mittie doesn’t specify to strain by I’m betting that is the case.


4 Aug

Settle in, folks and get ready for a string of drink recipes, each using up whatever ingredient I had to buy for the previous one. And because it is summer and awfully hot to cook. And because alcohol makes me worry less about calories and I am doing what I have to to silence some of the demons in my head that have been badgering me.
That was a lot. Let’s just have a cocktail.

Red wine(cheap)


ice(skull and cross bones shaped)

It’s what the kool kids drink in the summer.
If they are Basque.

And yeah, if I were really kapital K kool, I’d have used the Mexican cane sugar coke.

I’m a Hollywood actress though. With demons. Although demons can be sexy. Coca-cola zero for moi.

Got this recipe from the Spoon Fork Bacon girls.

Honor thy ancestors

14 Jul

In a shocking move on my part, that photo is me unmade-up, untouched.

Yeah, no make-up!
Fuck you Hollywood.

Do I look anything like her?


Allow me to tell you about a badass.
My sort-of distant relation Jane was pretty awesome. I think she was the cousin of my grandmother?

She was quite different than the rest of my family. As in she smoked. I did not really get to know her until my family took a trip to visit my aunt and cousins in Palm Beach. Jane came up from Fort. Lauderdale.

She was 80 and I was 17. The bonding factor: cigarettes.
Oh, was I a chimney. And my family hated that but tolerated it because next to my anorexic fuck-up-ed-ness it was a lesser evil.

But now I had someone to smoke with! And Jane was ridiculously smart.
So we talked and smoked and then when the cigarettes were put up and the cocktail hour came she would make Brandy Alexanders.

Which I stupidly did not drink because a smart anorexic knows how many calories are in liqueurs and heavy cream.

Jane passed away with emphysema several years ago.

Don’t smoke kids, except from the rare foolish smoke I bum whilst under the influence(I am an imperfect role model), I quit, and so should you.

PSA moment brought to you by a guilty conscious for all the shit I put my family through.

Now that I am all wise and grown(and say fuck you to both Hollywood and calories), I have I admit that Brandy Alexanders are tasty, but it’s summer so why not turn that deliciousness into a shake?


I cannot say for sure, but I bet Jane would approve,

Brandy Alexandra(adapted from the 8,500+ Drink and Cocktail Recipes Free! App)
1 oz. brandy
1/2 oz. clear Creme de cacao
Heaping half cup vanilla ice cream

Take off any make-up. From your face.
Blend all ingredients but the cinnamon. I used my immersion blender. The original recipe says to add ice. I did not.
Pour into a glass and sprinkle with cinnamon.

Be a badass. And seriously, try not to smoke.

St. Louis goodness/resolutions!

31 Dec

Yea, StL won(one of 2011’s highlights for me)!:

Warning:there is a distinct lack of food and recipes in this entry. Instead you must read my self-indulgent banter about me, me, where I’m from, and what makes me happy about where I’m from.
Although you don’t have to.
You could stop reading right now.
But you shouldn’t.
Two things to discuss today:
1)I got to visit St. Louis and MUST tell you a couple of awesome things I cannot miss in my fair hometown, home of world champions the Cardinals, also home of the most awesome 20th century architectural achievement aka the Arch(check out the Monument to the Dream documentary sometime) and home of the best coffeehouse in the history of history. I’ll get to that shortly.
2) I have New Years resolutions. To gain a couple pounds and take the risk of asking for what I need more.
Career-wise and life-wise.
Stop thinking you’re not worth it, Clifford!
To take risks in general. Nothing to fear but fear itself.
Well, that and brain injury.
But I can handle that.
As for the weight gain, I lost a few this year half due to a springtime depression and then to an ultra-busy fall. As someone who has struggled with anorexia I know when I’m too low, and am determined not to stay there. Cause anorexic Ellen is no fun for anyone including her. Ok, time to stop creepily talking in third person and get back to the Lou.
The place I’ve gone since I was 13. My favorite coffee on earth. Do yourself a favor and go there.
It’s rich. It’s strong. It’s delicious. No drip coffee. They handmake each cup like an americano. Expect to get wired. And addicted.
The Tivoli:

Across the street from Meshuggah in the famous University City Loop. I was raised in the U. City loop. Me and Nelly. From the Lou and we’re proud.
St. Louis winter tap water:
I jest not. St. Louis tap is the best. Ice cold and eau so delectable.

Other places I adore include Sasha’s Wine Bar, Forest Park(which includes the zoo, the art museum, the Science Center, the Boathouse), The Chocolate Bar, Pi, The St. Louis Bread Company, The City Museum(craziest place on earth, possibly), the Botanical Gardens, performances by the group I used to drum with

Yes, I am showing off. I kicked taiko arse, back in the day…
There is too much St. Louis awesome-ness to write up in one post on a cooking blog.
But if you do one thing in St. Louis, check out the Loop. Drink some coffee. Chase with some tap water. Hard core St. Louis, baby.

Pumpkin Time Again

9 Nov

I’ll explain the picture in a minute.
I finally succumbed to the autumn urge to pumpkin it up. And now I will pump(clap, point) you up! Sorry, SNL moment. Hans and Franz.
Since I held out on pumpkin recipes for the last post, this time I am showing you two. One vegan, created by the ever-lovely Katie, which you see at the top of the post. These pumpkin bars are so friggin’ fantastic. I barely managed not to eat the whole pan the first night I made them.
Then the next night I had a night shoot playing a goth, AGAIN:

Night fell, the shoot went on forever and at last at 4 am I arrived home with fake blood crusting on my neck, having been killed by vampires. Delicious image, no? I was starving and gulped down half the pan of these. Glad I had saved some. In honor of the goth-y state I was in when I consumed these, I took a picture of them with a comic about goths I clipped way back in the 90’s from a zine. Remember zines? Yeah, nineties grrl power. And goth power. And stuff.
Anyway, black attire or no, bloody or not, hop on over to Katie and check out the recipe for these bars.
And now, the non-vegan pumpkin bar:

This is the one that opened the floodgates of pumpkin. The gateway bar. Once you start, you can’t stop. It is addictive. I had been wanting to make this recipe for Pumpkin Bars from the Poppin’ Fresh Homemade Cookies cookbook, published by Pillsbury since…oh since I bought the book at a sixth grade book fair. A lot of other pumpkin recipes from other sources as well as a six year bout with anorexia distracted me from getting around to it.
Well done on this recipe, Pillsbury authors!
Incidentally, the Pillsbury Dough Boy(along with the Michelin man) was the inspiration behind the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. And I know him. The man who built and wore the costume. he’s not puffy. He says he filled in as Slimer occasionally during the film shoot. These are the folks I met at the parties when I was seeing a professional propsmaker. Ah, Hollywood. I digress.
I wish I had had cream cheese, I’d have frosted these suckers. But I did not.
Observe this picture of these bars:

Yep. That is some light Smart Balance I am putting on them. Incidentally, this variety of it is vegan. Not all Smart Balance is even vegetarian. One variety(the light heart right kind, I think?) has fish oil in it. Gross!
Now we’ve covered Katie, zines, goth-iness, vampires, fake blood, Ghost Busters characters, Hans and Franz, and fish oil.
So eat. Write a zine. Pump yourself up. Do a little dance. Make a little love, if you like.
Which of these activities are you doing tonight?
Let’s get to the recipe.
Pumpkin Bars(adapted from Poppin’ Fresh Homemade Cookies by Pillsbury)
1 cup flour
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup splenda or stevia(or just use a full cup of sugar)
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. cloves
1/2 cup applesauce
1 cup canned pumpkin puree
2 eggs
Heat oven to 350 degrees. Sift dry ingredients together. Add wet and mix it up. Mix it good. But not too good, no need to beat this stuff. Pour into a sprayed 9×9 pan and bake til…done. I don’t remember how long I cooked these. I’m guessing a half hour more or less. But I took them out when slightly underdone because that is how I like them. Bottom line, take them out when they reach the state of done-ousity you prefer.

RIP: goodbye old kitchen friends

20 Aug

Maybe I’ll just get a food processor.

Last night brought the end of both my blender and my favorite pink martini glass of which I owned only one. It was my present to myself when I graduated college. Just the one. I’m a real big spender.
I went to make a new shake recipe that involved ice cubes so I thought I’d give the malfunctioning, duct-taped blender one last dance. It not only wouldn’t blend the cubes but as I gave up and started scraping the half-shake, half ice cube concoction into my pink glass somehow it bumped it into the sink. I took both out to the trash.
The next day I decided I would skip the cubes, add some extra fluid and try the shake recipe again with my immersion blender.
I got this recipe from another blogger, Eden. Eden is beyond hilarious. To me. She may not be to you if you are sensitive. Particularly about eating disorders. As someone who devoted about 7 years of her life to anorexia, I have to have a sense of humor about that. Life is too darned short to be regretting things and getting all weepy over problems. Not only that but your life is your own unique experience that nobody else gets to have. So own it, and laugh about it. That is my wisdom for the day. Oh, and go drink this shake:
Thin Mint Shake
It has a lots of use this or that options, and I really liked putting the cottage cheese in it. The pudding mix was an interesting addition that made it thicker. Oh, and I added about a cup of almond milk. And left out the ice cubes…so maybe I don’t know how good Eden’s precise recipe was but it was mint-y and thick and chocolate and that is almost all I really wanted on a hot summer’s night. Take the almost to mean what you will.