Burn special nightly

The recipe that got me on a burn-inducing frittata kick was from the lovely Joy the Baker and this recipe and needing to use up some DAMN tasty chips.

The chips being Siete Grain Free Tortilla Chips. Especially being in the lime flavor. A lovely publicist sent them for me to try and I was terrifically pleased.

Holy heck they are made with cassava flour. I’ve no experience to judge cassava. But I liked it in this application. And avocado oil? I hate avocado but these flippin’ WORK. They work especially well in eggs.
Now as to the danger.

Frying pans that are safe to put in your oven are trouble. 

You think “oh this handle is harmless,” and sure, it is when you are using the pan on top of the stove. But not when out of the oven. 

Ugh burns. I went on a kick of making this frittata and although I got hep enough to not straight up grab the handle straight from the oven I kept bumping into the skillet. Burned myself around 8 times in a month I think. I should be more careful cooking.

But I should also keep making this frittata because it is stinkin’ delicious.

Frittata Chilaquiles Don’t Get Burned Extravaganza based on this recipe by Joy the Baker

• Olive oil
• Salsa: 1-ish cups pending thickness of salsa and your own taste buds, I never measured
• 1/2 tsp ground cumin
• 1/2 tsp garlic powder
• 1/2 chili powder (I used the cheap ol’ grocery brand)
• 1 dash crushed red pepper
• 1-2 oz lime tortilla chips 
• Sea salt
• Freaky ground black pepper
• 4 eggs
• Dash almond milk
• 2 oz sharp cheddar

Heat oil in 8 inch skillet. Add salsa and allow to cook until dry-ish. Heat oven to 375 F. Stir spices into the salsa and cook a little but more.Whisk milk, taters and salt n pepper in a separate bowl. Take the skillet off the heat (turn that burner off) and layer in chips. Add the egg mixture. Sprinkle with cheese. Bake 15-25 minutes yeaaaa! Be careful.

You may and can and will have it ALL

All caps means it is soooo important.

What else is important?

Bread.

Cheese.

Butter.

Eggs.

Fucking waffles. Yeah waffles too.

I took a cheese sandwich, dipped it in savory French toast batter and put it in the waffle iron. I cracked open my old trustworthy Ravenswood and waited. I ate.

Things were good.

Here is what to do.

Waffles-French-Toasted-Grilled Cheese Sandwich Yeah

• 2 pieces of bread
• 1-2 oz cheese
• 1 egg
• 2/3 cups half n half
• Dash salt
• More butter!!
• Big bottle of red

Heat the waffle iron. Whisk the egg, half and half and salt. Slice tiny slivers of cheese. Sadly you cannot put the cheese on too thickly or it’ll ooze into the waffle maker, so slice thinly. Put it on one piece of the bread. Put another slice of bread on top. Butter both sides. Then put into the waffle iron and cook away. Meanwhile open red wine. Ooh and ahh at your life. It is worth it. 

Thyme and Thyme Again AGAIN

I first posted my version of this Bon Appetit recipe for Sunnyside Up Eggs with Mustard Creamed Spinach and Crispy Crumbs on the Gruel back when I started the blog. That was when I was using the Gruel largely as a way to keep track of the recipes I tried. My photography was even more terrible than it is now.
I remember loving this recipe, and thought it was a timely time for a recipe with thyme. And time for a recipe redo. With better pictures. And I will actually type out the recipe for what I made. Glory! Fun times. Good thyme. And I added some more spiciness.

Plus a version that is chilled and mixed with a chopped hard-boiled egg. Sort of an egg-vegetable-panzanella type thang.

I like that variation with some salsa or tomato sauce on the side. And truffle salt makes anything amazing. It’s almost cheating.
I am up to all sorts of nefarious acting and writing and writing for acting projects I must go work on so I am not going to go on. But just know that busy as I am, I made time for you. And thyme for you. Times two.
Kisses, dahhhlings!
Sunnyside Up Eggs on Spicy Mustard Creamed Spinach with Crispy Crumbs adapted from Bon Appetit and the Panzanella Variation
1 slice of wheat bread, crumbled roughly
olive oil spray
5 tsp. wasabi mustard, divided
1 bunch flat leaf spinach, washed and loosely chopped
1 Tbsp. chopped canned green chiles
3 Tbsp. plain almond milk
1 tsp. chopped fresh thyme or 1/2 tsp. powdered dried thyme
Freshly ground black pepper
2 eggs, one to be fried or poached, one already hard-boiled
Heat oven to 400 degrees. Spritz the breadcrumbs with olive oil and toss with 2 tsp. of the mustard. Spread on a baking sheet and bake until lightly browned, 5-8 minutes.
Add a bit of water to a large pan and sauté the spinach just to wilt it. Take off heat and squeeze extra water out. Put in a small saucepan with the remaining mustard, green chilis, almond milk and thyme. Stir until medium heat until thick. Crank in some fresh pepper.
Now the fun. Divide both the spinach and crumbs in half adding half of each to a bowl with the chopped hard-boiled egg. Mix that and stick in the fridge to chill. Take the other half of the spinach mix, reheat as necessary. meanwhile, fry that egg. Toss the egg on top of the spinach then crumble on the crumb-age. Who knew you had thyme and time for two dishes?

Pâtés for Vegs:

I thought maybe the elegant butter knife would give my mushroom pâté a bit of class.

Lemme tell you. Pâté is something we should all eat, in some shape or form. Being a vegetarian I feel shame in saying this, but if you ever get your hands on some pâté de foie gras you should gobble that stuff up. Am I going to be arrested for saying that?

I ate it once. I was in a restaurant on Oahu. In my probably-wrong memory it may have had some stars. Or maybe it just had a lot of dollar bill signs beside it in the guidebook. I was twelve. We had planned the family vacation there based on the fact that my papa had a conference to go to at the Waikiki Hilton Hawaiian Village so hey, that was airfare and board for one person. My parents made the mistake of letting me do a great deal of the research on what there was to do. I voraciously devoured travel guides and made lists of what to see and where to go and most importantly…where we should eat.

I do not actually remember that much about the restaurant or the meal besides that pâté and dessert-they gave us a Diamond Head-shaped chocolate filled with chocolate truffles to take home.

We had the pâté on the table as an appetizer and I did not know what it was. I only knew it was some of the most divine stuff ever. Better than butter? Ye gods. Then I asked my mom what it was and promptly lost my desire for it when I found out it was goose liver. Then later that summer I became a vegetarian-which I had wanted to do for years, but it was a matter of being old enough to cook myself something separately from the family so my lifestyle choice wouldn’t be a pain in the butt for my mom.

I never much cared for meat in the first place, and non-leather shoes are cheaper than leather ones, so being a veg has not been hard. And just so you meat-eaters know, I don’t begrudge you your meat. I think different bodies need different things. Mine needs dairy, hence me not being vegan. It’s sort of sad. It used to be that people would be impressed by my veggie life, but now I just get “Oh, but not vegan?”. To which I emphasize that I buy cage free eggs and organic milk products as much as possible, but still…vegetarians have become the sad middle road, I guess.

Let’s get back to the pâté. I am giving you two meat-free options today, one of them even vegan. I am sure they probably don’t compare with foie gras, but they are not really trying to do that-they are impeccable in their own right. Mushrooms and eggs are two of the most perfect edible things on earth, and I stand by my pâté. Actually it is my dreamboat-cooking-crush Mark Bittman’s pâté. I stand by my man.

The egg one is considerably less chic in appearance than the mushroom I’m afraid:

I think I just started gobbling it before it could be molded. I don’t mind if you do that too. Actually, please do that too. Go forth and gobble.

Mushroom Pâté slightly altered from How to Cook Everything Vegetarian by Mark Bittman
Olive oil
1/2 c. chopped shallots
4-5 baby carrots, chopped
1/2 stalk celery, chopped
1 lb. white shrooms’ cleaned and roughly chopped
Salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1 Tbsp. tomato paste
1 Tbsp. freshly squeezed lemon juice
1 piece of bread, crumbled

Heat a skillet with a dash of oil over high heat. Add shallots, carrot, and celery and cook and stir until shallot is translucent. Sprinkle in some salt and grind in some pepper. Cool another couple minutes. Add tomato paste, then stir and cook about another ten minutes.
Turn off heat and allow to cool. Then put in your lover-that would be your sexy red Kitchen aid food processor you got for a song because it was factory refurbished.
Add crumbs and lemon. Blend until smooth, adding more bread crumbs if too thin or water if thick. It should be sturdy but spreadable. Give it a Tate and add more salt, pepper or lemon if you want.
Put in whatever mold or dish you want and chill. Find a snazzy serving knife.Yum it up.

Egg Salad Pâté adapted from How to Cook Everything Vegetarian by Mark Bittman
3 hard-boiled eggs, peeled and chopped (one yolk discarded)
3 Tbsp. reduced-fat mayo
1 1/2 tsp. freshly squeezed lemon juice
1 slice bread and butter pickle, chopped
1/2 tsp. dried dill
Salt to taste
Freshly ground pepper, to taste
Mix it all up. Mix it good. Put in container shaped how you want it to be shaped. Or just get a fork.

Molded greens unmolded

Because I thought you deserved a pretty picture for once.

It is tasty too.

That really is all I have to say for myself. I think every original thought in my head is being nabbed by my weekly improv shows. And it’s the season of being up to my gills in scripts, shoots, rehearsals, classes, auditions blahbittyblahblahblah. Good thing I am not trying to make any Möby-us Pie this week.

So enjoy the cute picture. Betty done good.
Molded Greens adapted from the Betty Crocker New Picture Cookbook

1/2 10 oz. package of frozen spinach
Handful of baby spinach
1/2 tsp. minced shallot
Pinch nutmeg
Salt and pepper to taste
Hard-boiled egg, sliced
Lemon slices
Put spinaches, onion and shallot in a bowl and microwave until hot, stir all together and squeeze out extra water. Mix in spices then pack into a ramekin. Can be prepared up to this point and put in the fridge! Before serving bake in a 300 degree oven for about 15-20 minutes. Unmold and garnish with egg and lemon. Adorbs! Ick, don’t say adorbs.

Croque Ellen

I really should remake this on another (cooler) day and post a better picture.

Problem was the yolk broke when I cracked the egg so I didn’t get that nice egg shot with the yolk standing up looking all pert and sassy. It still looks pretty sexy though, flowing out into the chasm created when I sliced into the sandwich. And dipped in salsa, who cares what it looks like? Tastes perfect.

It is my birthday, and being as such I giving myself the present of naming a sandwich I invented myself after myself.

I’m so generous.

I actually woke up one morning thinking of this sandwich. THAT was a new one. I wasn’t even hungry.

I was just coming to, rolling about in my bed as I do and thinking about the Croque Madame I made, and how it would use up at least one of my eggs before they went bad. But I was also thinking spicy. And thus was born this southwest-ish version. Call the tex-mex Croque. Call it the Croque Ellen.

And now, my dears, I will not even attempt to amuse you anymore as I must scurry off to Lock and Key and have toast to me. Bourbon time.

This is not so much a recipe as a recommended assemblage.
The Croque Ellen
2 pieces of bread
About an ounce of cheese
Salsa
Cilantro
Baby spinach
Egg
Toast yer bread. Layer salsa, cilantro, spinach and cheese as you see fit. If you don’t care for bread that is te least bit soggy be careful with the salsa, or maybe wait and just add on the side later. Cut a circle out of top slice but leave it in place for now. Put some cheese on top. Put it in the oven broiler for about two seconds to melt. Take the circle out and crack an egg in there. Broil until done. Or be like me and realize everything else is going to burn before the egg is done as I’d like. Put in microwave to finish cooking. Yea. So good.

Deconstructed Reconstructed

I started writing this post months ago, February, to be precise. It is a good thing I have many backlogged posts since at the moment my right arm is out of commission. I was going to post a summer-y recipe, but I saw what I had titled the post for this recipe and could not resist using it now.

Much like the egg in this recipe, I am being reconstructed after deconstruction.

Take em’ apart, build em’ back up.

My spirit animal is a yolk.

Lemme tell you, there is nothing so thrilling as waking up from what was supposed to be a 20 minute easy-peasy surgery and seeing a wrapped up and splinted arm, being in some of the worst pain of one’s life, and being told you were under the knife for about an hour and a half because there were complications.

Whoops-a-daisy!

Apparently the hardware in my arm needed a lot more finagling than they thought.

I have good painkillers, it’s gonna be okay.

When my mom (who has valiantly cared for me throughout this, despite my terrifically bad humor about it all) got me home, in my still-coming-out-of-general-anesthesia haze, I found myself craving nothing so much as the raw vegan tacos from Sage.

LA, you have defeated me.

Celebrate your working arms and hard-boil an egg. Deconstruct and mash. Egg violence! Then reconstruct and savor.

Do it for me. Do it for your arms.

Do it for Fannie:

Remodeled Egg (adapted from Fannie Farmer and this here recipe)
1 raw egg, separated
1 hard-boiled egg (whites chopped, yolk sieved)
1/2 tsp. melted butter
Pinch salt
Pinch cayenne pepper
Flour
Mix hard-boiled egg, butter, salt and cayenne. Add raw yolk, just a drop or two at a time until you can form it into balls. Roll in flour and sauté in butter.
Lotsa butta.
Heat oven to 350. Beat raw white to stuff peaks and nest in a small pan. Bake until done, about ten minutes.

Balls. Into nest. Done.

I also tried a version where I poured the egg white around the balls as they sautéed but it was not as becoming:

You can never have too many

…little black dresses, hugs, Reese’s peanut butter cups, laughs, or deviled egg recipes.

Or deviled eggs, for that matter.

Or could you? Actually you probably could and I probably have, on all of the above. Except little black dresses.

But that one last laugh may be the one that busts your gut, or something. Never happened to me but I’m just saying…

Ok, the food. It has been a work-y work-y summer but if I were just chillin’ at BBQ’s (we shall not call them “‘ques”) I’d bring these then be the annoying guest wanting to borrow the friggin’ oven, mid-summer, to toast the crumbs on top of these. A warm, crumbed, deviled egg sounds weird but it’s a bloody revolution.

Not terrible leftover and cold, either.

Horseradish Deviled Eggs adapted from the May 2013 Bon Appetit
3 hard-boiled eggs, cut in half, discard or use one yolk for something else, put other two in a small bowl
2 heaping Tbsp. mayo
1 1/2 tsp. prepared horseradish
1/4 tsp. white wine vinegar
1/2 tsp. Dijon mustard
Pinch of kosher salt
1/2 slice fresh wheat bread, turned into fine crumbs
Olive oil spray
Turn on the broiler. Mix yolks, mayo, horseradish, vinegar, mustard, and salt. Use to stuff whites. Sprinkle bread crumbs over and spritz with olive oil spray. Broil only until crumbs brown, around 2 minutes. Eat hot but they are good chilled too!

Chili cheese French toast

Good fun from Mr. Breakfast.

While I’m on a sandwich kick, I figured, why not? Yeah, so I’m not a sandwich person.

Except when I am.

Sure, I have zero nostalgia for this sandwich. If last week’s eats were the food equivalent of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, this week’s sandwich is a far more artistic film. Let’s say The Artist. A creative French-toasted sandwich for a creative French film. And yet both of them actually made in Los Angeles.

Deep.

Next I’m gonna match a sandwich to my favorite movie of all time: Clue.

To be eaten eaten in the ballroom.

By candlelight from a candle in a very sinister candlestick.

Preferably served by Tim Curry.

Huh, he is now tied, cinematically, to both sandwiches.

The plot thickens.

Enough! Go make this sandwich. Make it pretty. Make me proud.

Chili Cheese French toast adapted from this recipe

3 Tbsp. egg
1/4 c. Half and half
Dash salt
2 pieces of bread
1 oz. shredded cheese (I had reduced fat Swiss)
2 Tbsp. canned diced green chiles
2 Tbsp. diced cilantro
Heat the oven to 400. Line a pan with nonstick foil then spray, just in case. I believe in “just in case”. Which explains my overly full purse. Really, it’s a wonder I was not a scout. egg, half and half, and salt. Dip one piece of bread in the mixture and put on foil. Spread on cheese, then chiles, then cilantro. Dip the other slice and place on top. Cook until golden brown, ten minutes-ish. Then flip and cook some more. Nice. Very much so.

All Choked Up

I cannot resist a decent pun.

I really love this. It’s all elegant looks but elegant is just egg minus a g and plus a few other letters.

Because this is really just extra-tasty egg salad.
I covered my love of remoulade, oui?

Less elegant, but easier, is to serve the dip in a bowl like a sane person:

Artichokes Stuffed with Remoulade Egg Salad (adapted from Everyday Cooking with Dr. Dean Ornish
2 artichokes, steamed or boiled
2 chopped egg whites
1/4 cup reduced fat mayo
2 Tbsp. chopped parsley
2 tsp. brown mustard
Dash ketchup
1 tsp. chives
2 tsp. sherry wine vinegar
1 tsp. capers
Slice the cooked chokes in half and use a spoon to take out the thistle-y center.
Mix the remainder of the ingredients, take and play. Love capers? Add more. Need mo mustard in your life? Go for it. For elegance, spoon into the artichokes, or just serve on the side.