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Second Annual Un-Pizza Week Day Five: Puff the magic pizza

1 Feb

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ACTING PSA!
My improv 401 class at The Upright Citizens Brigade (UCB) is performing this Saturday at 5:30. Student show info is here. If you come and laugh, we will be even funnier than we already were. So do that if you like.
I’d like it. Smiley face.

Now for the gruel!
Totes adorbs pizza puffs! For realz!
Like, gag me with a spoon!
No please don’t, ignore that outburst it meant nothing.
There is quite a theme of cuteness going on this week.

Please do make these cute lil’ bundles of joy. I suggest that you make them like I did and call them pizza sliders. How 2008.
But I was rather pleased with my idea to not mix soy pepperoni in and instead cut a notch in the puff’s side and slide a piece in. Slide it in the slider.Too damned cute:

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These “Pizza Puffs did indeed puff. I had my suspicions they would be tough because the recipe required mixing the batter until smooth. Normally when making quick breads you don’t do that in order to avoid gluten over-development. But no, these were light and delightful and…yes, cute.

I think they might not have been quite as delightful if it were not for the seasoning sprinkled atop them. They certainly would have been less pizza-y.

It is almost the weekend, y’all. So go ahead and make yourself these sliders, serve em’ with some marinara to dip, crack open an ice cold beverage and get yer weekend on now.

Pizza Sliders adapted from this recipe by Kirbie’s Cravings
For the puffs:
3/4 cups flour
3/4 tsp. baking powder
3/4 cup almond milk
1 egg
1 cup shredded cheese (I used Swiss)
Italian seasoning (I made my own blend of basil, oregano, freshly ground black pepper, and sea salt)
To Serve Them:
vegan pepperoni
marinara sauce
Preheat the heat monster (your oven!) to 400 degrees. Beat the flour, baking powder, almond milk, and egg until the batter is smooth as a playa’s moves. Playa as in player. Not the beach. Although sand can be pretty smooth too. Stir in the cheese. Grease miniature muffin cups or line them and grease the liners. Fill them about two-thirds full. Sprinkle with the Italian seasoning. Bake about 15 minutes and serve with the pepperoni and marinara. Adorbs. Just saccherine sweet adorbs.

Boyfriends and bran

10 Oct

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Surely if I had one he’d desire his lady to have good digestion. Enough to make her bran muffins.

And he did. Well, my cookbook lovah Mark Bittman at least made a bran muffin recipe. When he was writing his cookbook. I need higher standards.

In the meantime I’m still seeing that classy lady, my career. Sexy wench just gave me the gift of turning a short I’m set to act in into a feature so I supposed I should reward her.

I made not one but two renditions of bran muffins. Because ladies are all about their muffins.

One version with the egg separated, for the fluffy factor, one with whole eggs. Generally girls like to keep their eggs intact but I preferred the muffin with the separated.

Then I went girly and consulted my new Joy the Baker Cookbook and made a pretty pb and j milkshake:

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As you can see I tried to make it pretty by layering in a wine glass but there was a huge amount so in the end my hot career and I just cozied up and ate this super-thick shake out of a bowl:

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These are the exciting things you can do in a long-term relationship, people. I love my career, I do I do. To us I say I do.

Make your own love muffins.
That’s all!

Bran Muffins(reduced and adapted from Mark Bittman’s How to Cook Everything Vegetarian)

2 Tbsp. applesauce
1/2 c. Flour
1/2 c. Wheat bran
1 Tbsp. honey or more maple syrup
1 Tbsp. maple syrup
1/4 tsp. salt
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 egg, separated or not
1/2 c. Almond milk
Heat ya’ oven up to 400. Hot! You and your oven. Spray 5 muffin cups with a lady-named nonstick spray or one of her cheaper knock-offs.
Mix dry stuff. Beat wet stuff. If you separated your eggs only add the yolk. Add wet to dry. Stir in until all is moistened. Don’t overdo this. Lumps are fine n dandy. If you separated your egg, you must now beat the white until stiff, but not dry peaks form. Fold in. Spoon into cups. If you have empty ones put some agua in them. Bake 20-ish minutes. Do the toothpick test.
Present them to yo lovah fo evah.

I’m a joiner

23 Feb

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Usually I’m not.

I think I moved to LA because I hate sun and everyone told me I was such a New York person.

“You’ll fit in so well there!” they said.

I’m not used to fitting in.

But when it comes to the food blog world, I really just wanna be loved.

Next thing you know I’ll be using mason jars.

But for now I’ll stick with the used vons brand salsa jars I have oodles of.

Also, I needed a quick recipe cause acting is being busy. I was awoken with a text for a goth-y audition and the day started with a black eye-liner bang as I slapped this look together:

I have now seen the microwave muffin a lot of places. It was created by Deb of Smoothie Girl Eats Too and has been made by loads of other food bloggies who I wish were my friends. Fo’ rizzle. Cause they make tasty stuff and are witty and funny and everything I aspire to be if not as a person at least as a food blogger. Hmm.

So I joined in the fun and made some microwave muffins too. And I liked em.
A Lot.

And I asked Deb if I could print my renditions on her recipe and she took the time to write back and say ok and so I love her. Hope that doesn’t creep you out Deb. But you rock. As do your muffins of which I made a chocolate-peanut butter version using Fitnutz which is awsome powdered peanut butter I initially bought to add PB flava to ma smoothies. Ya.
And I made a plain version.
Both I used my free NuNaturals liquid stevia to sweeten because I won both the vanilla and the cocoa flavors and this seemed like a good application for them.
What I’m saying is this recipe is highly adaptable.
Play, cook and do what you like but make sure you give maddddddd props to Deb.

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And much like Deb I felt the need to make a couple of versions of this.

Macro because they are big. Micro because you make them with waves of the micro variety.

Protein Micro-Macro Muffin(adapted from Deb’s recipe on Smoothie Girl Eats Too)
2 Tbsp. whole wheat flour(for version 2 use 1 Tbsp. whole wheat flour, 1 Tbsp. FitNutz-its a powdered peanut butter, and one Tbsp. cocoa powder)
3 heaping Tbsp. unsweetened applesauce
2 egg whites(normally I’m all about eating yolks cause they are good for you but the whites will give your muffin epic volume)
1/2 tsp. baking powder
A few drops NuNaturals vanilla stevia(version 2 use NuNaturals cocoa bean extract)
A spoonful of sweetener to your taste(I used Splenda for both varieties)
Spray a large ramekin. In small bowl beat all ingredients like you a a mean kid. Beat em’ up. Add to greased ramekin and microwave on high 2 1/2 to 4 minutes. Know your microwave kids.

Is there anything cuter than a muffin? Un-pizza week day 4

26 Jan

Yes:

A muffin being eaten by a Totoro. And not just any muffin. A pizza muffin. Take that cuteness and add a Totoro and you may need to call in back-up.

Cuteness kills.

According to my friend I fed these to, if Hot Pockets are your thing, these would rock your world.
I’m not sure if Hot Pockets were his thing, but he ate two of these. The only two I had left.

Between hungry males and Totoros I ran out of muffins fast.

Kidding, Totoro left that muffin for me. He’s a good friend like that.

Hot Pockets, yes or no? I’ve never eaten one.

Pizza Muffins(just barely altered from allrecipes.com posted by Kathy Henson)
1(14.5) can diced tomatoes
3/4 c. flour
1/4 c. wheat bran
1 Tbsp. baking powder
1 tsp. sugar
1 tsp. dried oregano
1/2 tsp. salt
1 egg
1/4 c. melted smart balance light
1/2 c. shredded reduced fat mozzerella
Drain tomatoes, reserving 1/4 c. fluid.
Sift together flour, powder, salt, sugar and oregano and whisk in wheat bran. Combine egg, smart balance, tomatoes and tomato liquid. Add to dry ingredients. Stir in cheese. Scoop into 6 jumbo muffin cups(I imagine you could use 12 regular sized ones too). Bake at 350 for about 20 minutes.
Feed to hungry males who like Hot Pockets.

One is not enough

4 Jan


Neither one muffin, nor one recipe.
Katie, you did it again. This single-serving muffin was fan-friggin’-tastic.
So go get this recipe and make it-and um, you may want to double the recipe. Then tell Katie she rocks. A lot of blog readers do these days but that is because she does. Like, totally! Sorry, valley girl moment.
So maybe the point of this recipe is that it only makes one. But when it comes to bread products, I eat for two: me and…you. That’s right. I eat a second just to MAKE SURE its good enough to share the recipe with you. Except I couldn’t with this muffin since it only made one. I’m talking in circles. I’ll stop.
So a week later I decided to tackle another single serve Katie recipe, this one for a Cinnamon Roll Baked Oatmeal.

I feared wanting more but this recipe was bigger and have the option of cooking it as one big portion or two smaller so I stuck with it. I figured that the extra large portion would cancel out my need for seconds: I cooked it as one.

Yeah, duuuude. This hit the spot. It was after midnight and I wasn’t up to making frosting so I slathered with smart balance. Mmmmmm, slathering. It’s like lathering without the bubbles. Hopefully sans soapy taste too.
This Boatmeal is good stuff! I would add a touch more cinnamon in the future, but I’m a cinna-holic, take that as you will.

Big ol’ muffin

26 Jan

Ok, compared to the muffins you get at coffeehouses this muffin was not so giant. But there was so much batter that some of the muffin cups actually overflowed. This was a recipe from the Hungry Girl website, here’s the link-y: pumpkin muffins

I was intrigued by the use of club soda in the recipe. These muffins turned out moist beyond belief, which was a good thing. Flavor-wise, not my favorite muffin. There was a vague sourness I did not care for. Maybe that was the wheat bran I substituted for some of the flour.That bran has been in my freezer quite some time. Oops. Or maybe it is because I skipped the frosting, maybe it needed that sweetness to balance the sour…