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Second Annual Un-Pizza Week Day One: Oatmeal pizza

28 Jan

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Oddly enough the idea of pizza oatmeal seems gross, but oatmeal pizza works for me.
And OM bloody G that’s friggin’ cute:

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I have explained un-pizza week before here. It is pizza flavors in unusual formats. Some people do different ingredients in pizza format, but I think this is a tad silly. I’ve used the example of re-fried beans and cheese on a tortilla. This is not Mexican Pizza. It’s a bloody tostada, foo.

This oatmeal pizza is almost a normal pizza but the different formatting involves cooking the crust in a skillet. This almost-a-pizza is to ease you into un-pizza week.
It will get more interesting, I promise.

I’m really not endorsing anything here. But the recipe did call for Fiber One. And deep in my heart I’m a corporate whore who would wouldn’t mind getting some doodads for endorsing a product. But only if I truly like it, and I do have an odd love of bran cereals of all types: corn bran, bran flakes…my insides like these too but let us not dwell upon that.

Let’s just eat some un-pizza.

Oatmeal Pizza (Adapted just a tad from this recipe on Hungry Girl)

1/4 c. Fiber One
1/4 c. Oatmeal
1 egg, beaten
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 c. Pasta sauce (I used one with roasted onion and garlic-if your sauce lacks pizza-esque flavors add some oregano and basil)
1/4 c. Shredded reduced-fat Swiss cheese (Use mozzerella for more authentic pizza taste, I just love Swiss)
Heat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.
Grind up the oats and Fiber One until they are of breadcrumb consistency. Mix in egg and garlic powder.
Spray a pan with something nonstick and heat over medium, then add mixture, spread as thin or thick as you like your crust to be. Mine was about 4.5 inches across. Though my dream crust is about 4.5 inches high. Raise heat to medium-high and when the bottom is browned, flip that sucker. Carefully. When the other side is brown put it on an oven safe surface of some ilk, pour on sauce, then cheese, and cook about 10 minutes.
Don’t forget to turn off your oven when you’re done.

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Too busy for fancy

30 May

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Two reasons to make this recipe:
1)Time
2)The name

Play rehearsals are heating up! A Midsummer Night’s Dream opens in two weeks and many of my nights are in el teatro.

I would love to get all fancy and make things requiring multiple bowls and saucepans.

Hell, I even would loved to get all pretty like Katie did and make a parfait with this cherry oatmeal recipe, which requires a rest in the fridge was waiting for me to complete it when I got home and I was not in the mood to layer. I was in the mood to gobble.

The name? Well I’m in a pretty rock n roll production of Midsummer so…
So if you have a busy night ahead, start this recipe for Cherry Bomb Oatmeal
ahead. Get home and finish then eat. Be. A. Rock. Star.

And come see Midsummer! For tickets:
https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/243225, or by calling the studio directly at 323-601-5310
And the Facebook page:
http://www.facebook.com/events/238549702925183/

Waffle Week Day 3: my normal eats all in one waffle. or not. fail.

14 Mar

Things I consume on an almost daily basis:
oatmeal
cottage cheese
protein powder
cinnamon
eggs
Also in the mix:
vanilla extract
So what would my favorite work-a-day foods taste like blended and cooked on a waffle iron?
I couldn’t tell you:

I am sure Janetha, writer of the lovely blog Meals and Moves from which this recipe came, could.
I was all ready to dig these Protein Waffles and I am blaming failure on the fact that when I made this I was but a fledgling waffle-woman. However!

Wise wise Janetha of the rock-hard abs said I could make it into pancakes instead.
So I did. With the remainder of the half-recipe of batter I’d made. Then I decided to get cocky and flip the first pancake. More fail.
That fail was totally my fault. So I did not take a picture.
Trying not to dwell on my shortcomings.
Finally I managed one pancake:

Pretty much equal parts oats, protein powder, cottage cheese and egg whites with flavorings added.

Perhaps too much of a good thing just overwhelmed my waffle maker.

Perhaps my waffle maker is acting up because it wants a name. It just wants to be loved too. I will have to dwell on this.

On to what we should all really care about: taste.
Seeing as I love all these ingredients, the fact that it tasted delectable makes sense.
Ah, logic.
If I continue to follow logic I wouldn’t name my iron. I’d buy a new waffle iron-I’m pretty sure the reason I’ve been having sticky issues is simply that it is really, really old.

Do tell me, o blog readers: have you named any household appliances?

Neuroscience, be thy food stylist

5 Feb

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Warning: major science and literature nerd post:
Did you know that a great deal of what we “taste” has to do with how the food looks and smells? Tis true. That’s why in blind taste tests people cannot tell the difference between red and white wine. That’s why parmesan cheese and vomit, which contain the same odor compounds are confused in blind smell tests.
Maybe I shouldn’t mention vomit on a food blog.

I really like to push the envelope though.
Meow.

What we taste has as much to do with the context we experience it in as it does the actual make-up of the food.
In “Proust Was a Neuroscientist” author Jonah Lehrer discusses how Escoffier knew this long before brain research confirmed it, that’s why he insisted his food be served in very exacting ways.

All this doesn’t bode well for the fact that I say my food often is “gruel-ish”, i.e. not attractive.

So I tried to make something pretty.

A parfait.

And I need to try again because as you can see from the main photo I was not so successful in creating the perfect stripes of chocolate oats and cherry soft-serve. On it’s own the cherry soft serve was a gorgeous color though:

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This delicious dish came from Oh She Glows- a chocolate-cherry-oat parfait. Or a chocolate cherry bomb, as Angela, mistress of the site calls it.

I only made two minor adjustments which were to use chocolate almond milk instead of regular, and MRM Veggie Protein in chocolate rather than the Amazing Grass Amazing Meal Chocolate Protein Powder she recommends. Cause two amazings in one powder is too amazing for me.

I like to stick with wicked awesome.

And I love the MRM stuff. They’re not sponsoring me to say that though if they want to send me some free veggie protein as a thank you for hyping them…geez I’m a shameless actor in search of free food.

This is a half-recipe. I didn’t know if I’d like it so…commitment issues.

Chocolate Cherry Oat Parfait(barely adapted from Oh She Glows
1/4 c. Oats
1/2 c. Chocolate Almond milk
1Tbsp. Chocolate protein powder
1/4 tsp. vanilla
Pinch of sea salt
1 1/2 tsp. chia seeds
Mix these together and put in the fridge, at least an hour.
Then:
In food processor blend:
1/2 frozen banana
1/4 c. Frozen dark sweet cherries
Splash almond milk
Blend, a lot. For a long time. It’ll be worth it. I thought I might not like it but I lurrrrved it.
Layer with oat mixture. Ooh and ahhh. Gobble.

Pizza Pancake: Un-pizza Day 3

24 Jan

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I love pancakes. But I tend to think of them as sweet and not savory.
Nevertheless.
This recipe for pizza pancakes fit my pizza theme.
Moreover.
It looked awesome.
All the same.
I knew I must make it.
It is vegan, until, like me, you add cheese. Unless it is faux cheese. I made one with melted mozzarella on top and one with a side of cottage cheese. I would be more likely to consider vegan-ism if there were a faux cottage cheese.

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I’m not sure these would quell any major pizza craving.
Also I’d say this is a single serving. It makes four small cakes.

What are your favorite vegan substitutes? Do you know if anyone makes a vegan cottage cheese?

Pizza Pancakes(adapted just a tad from Heather Eats Almond Butter)
1/2 c. old-fashioned oats
1/2 c. H2O
2 Tbsp. ground flaxseed
1 Tbsp. tomato paste
1/2 tsp. dried oregano
1/2 dash dried marjaram
1/2 tsp. dried basil
1/2 tsp. dried parsley
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. onion powder
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
Freshly ground salt and pepper
Grind oats to a flour in food processor. Combine all ingredients and allow to sit 10-15 minutes to thicken. Heat up a pan or griddle over low heat. Stir batter again, spray pan with non-stick element of your choosing and cook. Doctor them up as you see fit.

One is not enough

4 Jan


Neither one muffin, nor one recipe.
Katie, you did it again. This single-serving muffin was fan-friggin’-tastic.
So go get this recipe and make it-and um, you may want to double the recipe. Then tell Katie she rocks. A lot of blog readers do these days but that is because she does. Like, totally! Sorry, valley girl moment.
So maybe the point of this recipe is that it only makes one. But when it comes to bread products, I eat for two: me and…you. That’s right. I eat a second just to MAKE SURE its good enough to share the recipe with you. Except I couldn’t with this muffin since it only made one. I’m talking in circles. I’ll stop.
So a week later I decided to tackle another single serve Katie recipe, this one for a Cinnamon Roll Baked Oatmeal.

I feared wanting more but this recipe was bigger and have the option of cooking it as one big portion or two smaller so I stuck with it. I figured that the extra large portion would cancel out my need for seconds: I cooked it as one.

Yeah, duuuude. This hit the spot. It was after midnight and I wasn’t up to making frosting so I slathered with smart balance. Mmmmmm, slathering. It’s like lathering without the bubbles. Hopefully sans soapy taste too.
This Boatmeal is good stuff! I would add a touch more cinnamon in the future, but I’m a cinna-holic, take that as you will.

cookie dough? we shall see.

9 Oct


Anyone who has read much of this blog may have noticed I consider myself an expert on cookie dough. I am the dough whisperer, hear me roar. The Doughminatrix. So I see a recipe on Heather Eats Almond Butter for a cookie dough smoothie and I feel the need to put it to the test. Plus it used nutritional yeast, which I have been playing around with. Plus it had interesting instructions such as not too blend to much because “you don’t want the nooch to get completely obliterated b/c it adds that gritty cookie dough-like texture”.
That’s some pretty tough, sexy writing for an entry on a smoothie. Nooch? Huh? Oh, nutritional yeast. Duh. I am not sure that gritty is the word that comes to mind when I think of dough, but Heather’s use of italics made me think that there must be something kick-ass to the smoothie’s grittiness.
Can’t get shake-y without a dose of kick-ass.
Lastly, this shake used chia seeds. I’d not yet tried these darlings of the health blogosphere. I thought cookie dough would be a good way for them to make their Scrumptious Gruel debut. Put on your long white gloves, little chias, you’ve got a ball to go to.
The verdict?
Oh. My. God.
This does taste like cookie dough. Next time I am going to not add the additional two tablespoons of water I added(they were not in the original recipe) so it is thicker. Also I will use more chocolate and I won’t halve the recipe like I did this time. I did not want to commit to a full big shake until I had judged its doughiness. I have commitment issues. Foodwise, anyway.
Here’s what I did this time around:
Cookie Dough Smoothie(only slightly adapted from Heather Eats Almond Butter)
1/4 cup oatmeal
1/4 cup + 1/4 cup plain unsweetened almond milk
1 1/2 teaspoons chia seed
1 1/2 teaspoons of nutritional yeast
1 packet of Equal(Articficial sweeteners!Bad me,I know.Oh well.)
pinch salt
pinch cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 teaspoons chocolate chips(Ghiradelli Bittersweet)
Mix oatmeal, the first 1/4 cup almond milk and chia seed and put in refrigerator for 6 hours. I added a couple of tablespoons of water halfway through, thinking it would be too thick. I was wrong. After 6 hours, blend with second 1/4 cup of almond milk, cinnamon, salt, vanilla and sweetener. Add nutritional yeast and blend just a bit. Add chips and blend a tad more. There ya go.
I am still the Doughminatrix. Meow.

Question for the readers? What foods are you master/mistress of?