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Third Annual Pumpkin Week in Spring Day One: Not’cho Cheese Macaroni

20 May

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Oh that wild n’ crazee Kelly. If she spelled her name Kelli, “wild n’ crazee” would be wyld and cray-cray and have completely different and kinki connotations. And that is a fact.

As it is, Kelly with a Y keeps her craziness to the kitchen, and puts pumpkin in pasta. Because where there is one P another is sure to follow.

Enough alphabet madness.

Pumpkin Noocheeze Mac adapted from
this recipe

1 package shirataki macaroni
1/2 cup almond milk
3 Tbsp. nutritional yeast
1/2 tsp. minced garlic
1/2 bay leaf
1 tsp. Dijon mustard
1/2 cup canned pumpkin
Freshly ground salt and pepper to taste
Drain zee macaroni. Rinse it very well, then microwave for a minute. Rinse it again, then put in a colander and drain it to be as dry as possible. You might even blot it.
Bring the milk and bay leaf to a boil. Whisk in the yeast, garlic, an Dijon. Cook a couple more minutes to thicken. Whisk in pumpkin, when it is as thick as you want it add the noodles and grind in salt and pepper to taste. Remove the bay leaf. You’re done, now dine.

Faux real

10 Jan

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I do not like Thai. Maybe once a year I try. I am aware taste buds change and evolve, but I’ve been hating Thai for a good long time now, and it never changes.
I saw this recipe labeled as “faux” Thai, so I thought maybe I’d like it. It did not have the stuff that I don’t care for in Thai, like coconut. Oh coconut. I hate to say hate but I hate it.

The blogger/faux Thai creator, Nadiya, suggested that serving these noodles for a date was a great idea. Right-o.
Seeing as I had a film shoot the next day, I figured I should really try to mix things up for my lover (which is to say my career-we’ve been together almost a year now!) and try the exotic flavors of not-exactly-Thailand.

I try and keep it hot for my career.

I’m thinking Thai spice would be the kick-start our relationship needs to land me a pilot in the new year.

Nadiya had tried a thing or two from the gruel, most recently this BBQ flavored recipe. It is one of my most favorite recipes which SHOCKINGLY involves tofu. Since she was blogging my stuff I wanted to be a good and giving blogger and try some of her stuff.

I like faux Thai! So did my mistress who alerted me that there is now an imdb link for the movie I did for the Chiller Network. It was a short called “Listen My Children” that is now part of a five part anthology called “Chilling Visions”. Hopefully it will air late winter or early spring. I’ll be on tv y’all! Moving on up.

Who knew.

Faux Thai Noodles adapted from Nadiya’s Milk and Honey on the Run

1 package of shirataki noodles, drained, rinsed, and microwaved a minute or so
1/3 c. Chopped onion
1 c. Halved snow peas
2-4 Tbsp. chopped jarred roasted red bell pepper
1/4 c. Soy sauce
2 tsp. H2O
2 tsp. vinegar
1 tsp. peanut butter
1 tsp. brown sugar
Black pepper and hot sauce (I used Tabasco, sriracha would be divine)

Mix the water, peanut butter, vinegar and brown sugar in a small bowl and set aside.
Spray a skillet with nonstick spray, and sauté the onions until they are translucent, add peas and peppers for a minute, then the noodles, then the soy sauce and finally water mixture. Stir between each addition. Sauté until all is nice and hot. Add peppers and chili to taste and serve your wench this delight.

Artiste-ic

2 May

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What is Napoli? From Naples? Did Fannie Farmer ever go to Naples? Or is this her 1896 vision of what she would consume there? Then again this edition of The Fannie Farmer Cookbook was published in the sixties so it may not have even been in the original.

That Frances Farmer, what an enigma.

The week in which I blithely posted pre-written waffle posts, and prepped to play an artiste, I also made this soufflee.

Firstly, you must know rarely is this blog written in real time. I backlog posts when I have more free time for busy times like these.

Second. You’ll must agree that artistes make soufflés. Because we have lofty ideals. Thus lofty foods. Yup. Our lives are one massive metaphor. This blog is a bit of my brain matter laid out for you to consume.

That metaphor sucked.

Artistes also make film. Artistes make pie. Artistes make love.
Often to their reflection in the mirror.
With pie.
I guess I’m an artist of sorts, and I decided to make Napoli.

Random note of interest: My reviewing job’s latest here. Another here.

First, the soufflee cross-section:

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Now the recipe.
Tomato Soufflee Napoli adapted from Fannie Farmer
3 Tbsp. butter
2 Tbsp. whole wheat flour
5 T. Tomato paste
1/3 c. Marinara of choice
1/2 c. Plain almond milk
3 slices cheddar, chopped
1/2 c. Pasta
3 eggs
Salt
Freshly ground black pepper
Melt two tablespoons of the butter. Stir in the flour(it’ll be like a paste), then the milk, tomato paste, and marinara. Bring to a boil then simmer a couple of minutes. Stir in cheese, salt and pepper.
Meanwhile, cook the pasta. When that is done add 1 tablespoon of butter. Resist urge to eat more than a couple of buttery pasta pieces. Contemplate eating buttery pasta with the tomato mixture as sauce. Decide that the beauty of a soufflee and ability to say, “well, last night I whipped up a soufflee,” make doing this not quite worth it. Realize you write really bad run-on sentences sometimes, seriously, Cliffy.
Stir the pasta into the tomato mix.
Beat egg whites until stiff, then beat yolks in a different bowl. It must happen in this order because the whites must have zero contact with the yolks, but a bit of white getting into the yolk will not affect them. Stir the yolks into the tomato mix, then fold into the whites. Turn into a baking dish sprayed with olive oil if you are me. Because I don’t have a soufflee dish and I don’t trust the mixture not to stick. If you are awesome-er than I, bake this in an ungreases soufflee dish. At 300. Forty-five-ish minutes.

Un-pizza week: day one

23 Jan

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Un-pizza!!
Because pizza week is too obvious. I’m such a rebel. Hear me yell.
Pizza-themed food that is not EXACTLY what we think of as typical pizza. It’s a brave new world of oregano flavored edibles.
Un-pizza comes in two main varieties:
Type A: Food that uses pizza flavors in different formats.
Type B: Food that uses a pizza format(solid, usually carb-y round base, spread with one or two things, with various vegetable or protein-y toppings scattered on top)but uses different flavors. I will be making mostly the former. Because a lot of the type B’s have no business using the word pizza in their name.

Example: A crisp tortilla, spread with beans, sprinkled with cheese and peppers? That is not a “Southwestern pizza”, people. It’s a tostada.

So get ready! There will be un-pizzas for pasta people, un-pizzas for anti-carb people, and ever so much more.
And as you eat them you can let that scream out. And bask in how outside the box you are.

How do you feel about Type A in-pizzas versus type B?

First up in Un-pizza week is a pizza-ish casserole. I adapted this recipe using what I had on hand from the allrecipes app called Pasghetti Pizza, posted by someone named KELMES.

I liked this. Obviously since I’m posting it. You should too. Smiley face.

Pizza Casserole(adapted from Pasghetti Pizza posted on the Allrecipes iPhone app by KELMES)
4 oz. rotini, cooked and drained
1/2 cup almond milk
1 egg
3/4 tsp. powdered garlic
3/4 tsp. salt
1 1/2 tsp. dried parsley
freshly ground black pepper
1 cup grated reduced fat mozzerella
1 3/4 c. tomato-basil pasta sauce
1 sliced vegetarian Italian sausage.
Preheat oven to 400. Spread both pastas in an 8×8 dish sprayed with nonstick spray.
Mix milk, egg, garlic, salt, pepper and parsley with 1/4 cup of the cheese. Pour over pasta. Sprinkle with 1/4 cup of cheese.
Baked 15 minutes. Reduce heat to 350 degrees. Pour pasta sauce on top, then top with sliced sausage and remaining cheese. Cook until cheese is melted.
Raaaawwwwwwrrrrr! That’s good stuff.