Migas especiales con hongos

Oh yes. Tex-mex. Of all the types of Mex, the Tex is the best.

Of course, the creators of this recipe, the Perez sisters, owners of Austin’s (now closed, I think) Las Manitas, don’t like for their food to be called “Tex-Mex”. Keepin’ it weird for Austin!

I will say this is Tex-Mex in that it is Mexican-ish and created in Texas.

I will attempt to continue the weirdness by making this post ridiculously short for a long-winded dame like me who may be an over-sharer. Enjoy.

This will make way more ranchero sauce than you need. So you’ll be forced to make huevos rancheros the next morning. So sad.

Migas Especiales Con Hongos adapted from Robb Walsh’s The Tex-Mex Cookbook

1 corn tortilla cut in 1/2 inch strips
1 cup sliced mushrooms
1/4 tsp. minced garlic
2 eggs, beaten
1 oz. shredded Swiss cheese
1/4 cup ranchero sauce
Salt n pepa if you like (I do!)
Ranchero Sauce-feel free to jazz this up with your favorite spices, this is a very basic and simple template:
1 14.5 oz. can of diced tomatoes
1/4 tsp. diced garlic
2 Tbsp. sliced jarred jalapeño slices
1/2 c. H2O

Start by making your sauce, you’ll need it.
Bring tomatoes and water to a boil over medium high. Add garlic and jalapeño and take off heat. Let cool then purée. I used my most favoritest kitchen appliance ever, the immersion blender.
Spray a small skillet with Pam. or get crazy and use real oil. Fry yer tortilla strips over medium high. Set them aside.
Spray again and sauté shrooms n garlic several minutes until…they seem done. And most of their liquid is gone.
Spray again. Yes, while the shrooms and garlic are still in there. Turn heat to medium. Add eggy-weggs. Cook, stirring. When almost set add cheese and tortilla strips. Cook to melt cheese. Put on a plate and add some if that tasty ranchero. I imagine salsa would be ok if you want to be lazy. Shocking that I did not. I was lured by the concept of huevos rancheros the next day.

Faux real

I do not like Thai. Maybe once a year I try. I am aware taste buds change and evolve, but I’ve been hating Thai for a good long time now, and it never changes.
I saw this recipe labeled as “faux” Thai, so I thought maybe I’d like it. It did not have the stuff that I don’t care for in Thai, like coconut. Oh coconut. I hate to say hate but I hate it.

The blogger/faux Thai creator, Nadiya, suggested that serving these noodles for a date was a great idea. Right-o.
Seeing as I had a film shoot the next day, I figured I should really try to mix things up for my lover (which is to say my career-we’ve been together almost a year now!) and try the exotic flavors of not-exactly-Thailand.

I try and keep it hot for my career.

I’m thinking Thai spice would be the kick-start our relationship needs to land me a pilot in the new year.

Nadiya had tried a thing or two from the gruel, most recently this BBQ flavored recipe. It is one of my most favorite recipes which SHOCKINGLY involves tofu. Since she was blogging my stuff I wanted to be a good and giving blogger and try some of her stuff.

I like faux Thai! So did my mistress who alerted me that there is now an imdb link for the movie I did for the Chiller Network. It was a short called “Listen My Children” that is now part of a five part anthology called “Chilling Visions”. Hopefully it will air late winter or early spring. I’ll be on tv y’all! Moving on up.

Who knew.

Faux Thai Noodles adapted from Nadiya’s Milk and Honey on the Run

1 package of shirataki noodles, drained, rinsed, and microwaved a minute or so
1/3 c. Chopped onion
1 c. Halved snow peas
2-4 Tbsp. chopped jarred roasted red bell pepper
1/4 c. Soy sauce
2 tsp. H2O
2 tsp. vinegar
1 tsp. peanut butter
1 tsp. brown sugar
Black pepper and hot sauce (I used Tabasco, sriracha would be divine)

Mix the water, peanut butter, vinegar and brown sugar in a small bowl and set aside.
Spray a skillet with nonstick spray, and sauté the onions until they are translucent, add peas and peppers for a minute, then the noodles, then the soy sauce and finally water mixture. Stir between each addition. Sauté until all is nice and hot. Add peppers and chili to taste and serve your wench this delight.

Mad Man’s Brilliance

I introduced you to the culinary stylings of my brother’s mad scientist compadre (whom we are calling MM) with this purple pie.

Twas’ unfair, really, as I should have started with his AMAZING cranberry concoctions. He made both sweet and savory cranberry sauces, the former saving my not-sweet-enough-and-underspiced-because-my-brother-doesn’t-properly-stock-his-kitchen pumpkin pie when I got the brilliant idea to use it as a pie topping, the latter receiving raves from all carnivores on hand.

I’m thinking a New Year’s resolution will be to not use so many run-on sentences.

And to not resort to terse monosyllabic sarcasm instead.

Elegantly crafted sentences of the proper coherent length!

Someday.

The sauces! MM gave me his estimation of what he did. A mad scientist never make notes while cooking, they just maniacally stir cauldrons and cackle. Or so I like to imagine MM doing in chilly Chicago where the cold seeps into the brains of its residents and leads them to such kitchen shenanigans.

Back in LA I made scaled down renditions of the sauces, even the bacon one! Litelife makes surprisingly tasty smoky tempeh strips called Fakin’ Bacon. MM is a renegade chef so I figured I should follow in his spirit and not be tied down to what he had done.
Here be my tempeh-bacon version:

Sip a Sazerac while making these.
I did.

Actually I made two different Sazerac recipes, from which I plan to concoct my ideal Saz and post it later. But you see the first two versions hanging out behind the bacon sauce.

Never thought “bacon sauce” would be words blogged here.

And good golly!

Apparently I like not only absinthe, but bourbon. Trouble’s a brewing!

Bourbon, berries, and bacon, baby.

MM’s Orange-Whiskey Cranberries, my adaptations (because I didn’t have enough cranberries and booze) in parenthesis

1 1/2 bags of cranberries (I had only two cups)
Juice of two oranges (I used one)
Zest of one orange (1/2 an orange)
About 4 shots of bourbon (4 Tbsp. of Jameson)
1 1/2 c. Brown sugar (1/2 c. Brown, 1/4 of white)
1 tsp. cinnamon (1/2 tsp. cinnamon and a dash of nutmeg)
Put everything in a pan, add H2O to a bit below the cranberry line. Bring to boil then reduce and thicken to taste. Add salt to taste. Gets thicker as it cools so leave it a wee bit soupy, says me. If you made a pumpkin pie that wasn’t sweet enough too, use this as a topping!

MM’s Bacon Cranberries

8 slices of bacon (3 slices “Fakin’ Bacon-LiteLife’s smoky tempeh bacon strips)
1 Vidalia onion, chopped (1/3 c. Chopped yellow onion)
Garlic (I used 1/2 tsp. chopped)
1 chopped Granny Smith apple (1/3 c. Chopped Fuji apple)
1.5 bags cranberries (2 c.)
Water to come up 1 inch below cranberries
1 1/2 c. Sugar (1/2 cup)
Chili powder (1 tsp.)
Sriracha (2 tsp.)
A bouquet garni of black peppercorn, rosemary and bay leaf (A grind or so of black pepper, a pinch of dried rosemary, bay leaf)
Salt to taste
If using bacon, render the fat, chop bacon and set bacon aside. Use the fat to cook onion, garlic and apple. If not using bacon, chop the Fakin’ and set it aside. Spray pot with a nonstick spray before sautéing onion, garlic and apple. Add cranberries, water, sugar, Sriracha, chili powder, bouquet garni or black pepper, rosemary, and bay leaf (and if you are using the Fakin’ add it now) and reduce. If using regular bacon add once it cools, add salt if you like. Don’t forget to take out the bouquet garni, or bay leaf if using the dried herbs.

I pity the fu

Eat with chopsticks.

We discussed this. It’s real fun n stuff.

I pity the fool who totally rules out tofu.
That fool was me. Don’t let the fu be u.

I admit that tofu dishes generally underwhelm me. But every so often a tofu use stands out as wonderful. To be frank I think most things that get the barbecue sauce treatment probably transcend their usual taste limitations.
Note that I did not say you actually have to BBQ these. I’m not really all that thrilled with grilled food. But BBQ sauce? I love it.

So get some tofu, but eat the fu’, don’t be one.

Feelings about tofu? Do tell. That means you, lurkers. Please?

BBQ Tofu adapted from New Recipes from Moosewood Restaurant
One 12oz. Package of firm silken tofu
1/2 c. Finely sliced spring green onions
1/2 Tsp. minced garlic
1/2 tsp. chili powder
1/4 tsp. ground coriander
3/4 tsp. ground cumin dash cayenne
1/3 roasted red bell pepper, chopped
SAUCE:
2 tsp. soy sauce
2 tsp. lemon juice
1 Tbsp. brown sugar
2 tsp. cider vinegar
1 tsp. mustard
2 T. Tomato paste
1/3 c. H2O
A few dashes of Tabasco
Put tofu on plate with paper towels, put another plate on top and weight down to drain out some moisture for about 30 minutes, then cube.
Sautée veggies and spices. Mix sauce ingredients. Combine veggies and tofu and put in a shallow pan, about 8×4 inches. Cover and bake at 350 for about a half hour then uncover for another 30, stirring periodically.

First time

Don’t get yer hopes up. I meant the first time I used the big bowl of my Kitchenaid food processor. Although it is a sexy sexy red and I love it with a passion perhaps I should reserve for future lovers.
How did the consummation of our relationship play out?
Salsa success:

Clean-up fail:

Make your own dirty parallels.

Moving on.

Thank goodness I unplugged it before trying to take the bowl off. But I did not realize I should not try to remove the blade first. So much salsa spilled out the center hole. It did! Oh things going in holes. I’m going to get off this train while I’m ahead.
I never make salsa normally. You’d think I did. I eat it like crazy. With a spoon. Daily.
Sorry if that’s gross to you.
But I hate peeling tomatoes and Vons makes a terrific hot salsa.
Then I came across this recipe which called for using canned tomatoes(which I think are usually tastier than the fresh tomatoes you find at the store anyway) and decided I should give it a go.

I loooved it. With three o’s loved. The main change I made was using shallots instead of onions. I hate having onion breath. I have designs on making lots of variations now. I’m thinking a slug of Bufalo Chipotle sauce , maybe.

The more you do it, the better it gets. Both salsa making and the other.

Ever eat salsa
With a spoon? Please tell me I’m not alone on this.

From Pioneer Woman to Brown-Eyed Baker to me. Do I now stand With those bloggoddesses???
EasyEasyEasy Salsa(adapted from this here recipe on Brown-Eyed Baker who adapted from Pioneer Woman)
28 oz. can whole tomatoes with juice
2 10 oz. cans diced tomatoes with green chilies
1/4 cup chopped shallot, briefly soaked in water then drained
1 tsp. minced garlic
1 jalapeño, quartered then sliced
Juice of 1/2 a lime
Cilantro-tons and tons and then some more for good measure
1/4 tsp. Splenda
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 heaping tsp. ground cumin
Put all that goodness in our food processor and pulse til it is as chunky or watery as pleases you.

Tofu: a (slight) change of heart

I actually found a use for tofu that may cause me to go out and purchase more. I know, I know. I’m a vegetarian. I am supposed to love tofu. And it does, to its credit, soak up the flavors of what it is cooked in. And you can play around with it to change its texture. But all this seems like a lot of trouble when I could cook with something that is delicious without having to be pressed, frozen, thawed, marinated, basted, tied up and smacked around. However, two words that made me reconsider: Ranch Dressing. Good lord, some fries to dip would be good right now.
Who convinced me to give tofu another shot? Chocolate-Covered Katie. Sounds kinky, but she seems pretty un-kinky, which probably means she secretly is? I dunno. Sorry Katie, I will stop contemplating your kink-factor. You seem like a very sweet girl.
Anywho, she posted this recipe for Crazy-Good Ranch Dressing that is so healthy you really could eat a bowl of it, and do no damage, unless you are sensitive to soy. Not only is this stuff healthy but I did not have to do anything to the tofu except mix it with my immersion blender aka the best unsung hero of my kitchen. Love that thing. Less clean-up than a normal blender. I digress. Make this dressing. Go tell Katie she’s awesome for inventing it. I did.
Eat it up with a spoon, if you want. I ate it with broccoli. Then celery. Then roasted beets. Then said what the hell and broke out the spoon. It was worth it.