The Last Sword

HAHA! Now here is a drink. If you are wondering where your Wine Wednesday is, well, I only have time for so many beverages so this week you get a cocktail, baby.

It is not so much a riff on The Last Word as it is inspired by said drink. Or should we say it is what happens when a drink gets autocorrected. FU.
My guest-stars were the fabulously funny Christina Meyers and Meredith Riley Stewart who have this RULL funny web series called Autocorrect FU that you should go watch n subscribe to n all that jazzy fun.
In the meantime, give our silly little drink-making webisode a look-see and give ‘er a thumbs up on the Youtubes if you can.
And now, I give you…
The Last Sword
1 oz gin (I used Beefeater)
1 oz. Cherry Heering
1 oz. grapefruit juice (a ruby red if you can)
1/4 oz. absinthe (Lucid is good stuff)
2 dashes Fee Bros. grapefruit bitters
Shake over ice and double-strain. Add one big ice cube.

The Bridgid plus showbiz

You guys I promise in a month when GIRLS is over I will get back to posting non-drink recipes. In the meantime…Please make The Bridgid:

Modeled after a cocktail Bridgid really liked at Basic, a bar in Brooklyn.
If you just want the recipe go about 6 minutes 45 seconds in.
Girl on GIRLS is hobbling along. We got to be special guests on a much larger after show last week which was wicked exciting! And this week comedian Rakefet Abergel is our special guest so that’s nifty.

In other acting news I had a part in a legit movie (starring Rosanna Arquette-the Oscar winner Patricia’s sis and most importantly, star of “Desperately Seeking Susan”)
That also was wicked exciting.

And I’m gonna do some sketch comedy I wrote in March. Woot! And wicked. Bridgid will be in that with me so get to the Nerdist theatre in March for some funny.

And then there is just the ample booze to cover my pain.

The Bridgid made up by me with assistance of THE Bridgid
Makes 2 cocktails
First, put just a tiny smidgen of absinthe in each coupe, swirl and dump (or if you are me, drink, the excess). Put in freezer until ready to strain.
Next, stir over ice and strain into a chilled coupes:
1 oz. citron vodka
3 oz. gin
1 1/2 oz. Campari
1 oz. dry vermouth (I use Martini and Rossi)
1 oz. Cointreau
6 dashes Peychaud’s bitters

Saz me

Says me. Saz me. I could not resist.

I like that I like bourbon. Is that weird? It’s like an ego thing. Now at least the people that doubt my taste in booze when I say I hate alllll beer can be comforted by the fact that I like bourbon.

I found out I like Bourbon because I enjoy absinthe (in a cocktail, anyway) and ordered up a Sazerac one day. Holy moly, that was a stiff drink. After sending it back because I tasted zero absinthe (it supposedly had been “misted” with absinthe but I think the bartender’s interpretation of “mist” was to hold the bottle near the drink and maybe hope the scent would transmit somehow), I really enjoyed it and was surprised to find out it was mostly bourbon.

But there is more-oh yes!

I liked the aesthetic.

How I like a Saz is half-taste, half the-whole-thing. The glass. The name. The lore. The experience. Priceless? Not really but who cares.

I tried a few different iterations of Sazeracs at home to concoct the perfect one. Perfect for me, anyway. My first attempts were seen on the Gruel here. Unlike my perfect Camparied up Cosmo I came up with, the Mo-ellen, my Saz recipe is not just for the beverage, but for the whole process.

First let’s break down the elements of this liquid refreshment.

Base alcohol: bourbon, rye, or (in The Ultimate Bar Book’s version for the original sazerac), cognac. Cognac? Apparently when the drink started in France that was the beverage of choice. No, no, and no. I do like cognac but bourbon makes it better. Rye is ok, but I think bourbon makes the smoother blend.

Sugar type: simple syrup, sugar cube or sugar. I say cube. Aesthetics, people. If you even think “agave” you need another drink.

Absinthe method: shake, swirl in glass and discard extra, or stir. I say swirl but don’t dump! What a waste of pricy liqueur. And I like a little stronger taste of it. At least sip the excess straight. Straight up absinthe-youcan do it! After all you are a badass who likes bourbon now.

Bitters: peychaud, angostura or both.
I like mostly peychaud with a dash or so of angostura.

Mixing/serving: stirred, shaken, rocks, or up. I don’t like drinks on the rocks usually, but I liked a cooling element so now is time for the fancy giant cube. I actually molded mine by lining an espresso cup with plastic then filling and freezing. Ran under hot water to get out and voila!
Giant cube:

So bespoke.
Extras: water, lemon juice, lemon twist
I favored just a touch of fresh-squeezed lemon juice for brightness, as well as a twist.

Now I give you my recipe for

The Sazerac Experience
Giant ice cube
Sugar cube
Peychaud bitters to saturate sugar
A couple dashes Angostura bitters
Scant tsp. absinthe
2 oz. good bourbon
1 tsp. freshly squeezed lemon juice
A lemon peel twist
Have that big cube ready in the freezer. Select your glass. I’m still on a hunt for the perfect old-fashioned glass for me. I’d like one slightly more slender than the standard with a good weight to it. You want a glass that says bad-ass mixed with elegance. Until I find mine, the one that feels best in my hand, I’m enjoying my glass with a skull on it.
Add absinthe and swirl to coat sides. If you don’t love absinthe you can get rid of any excess after this. I say keep it. Add sugar cube. Saturate the cube with the bitters. The extra absinthe comes in handy to get the sugar dissolving. Shake the bourbon and lemon juice with ice then strain into the glass. Add giant ice cube and really swirl. The sugar cube should really be dissolving. Now run the lemon twist around the top of the glass and drop it in. Ahhh. Savor that sucker. Now the real reason for the sugar cube. When you get to the bottom of the glass some of it will be left and you can dip your pinkie in and taste the sugar-y, bitters-y goodness. The drink’s dessert. Maybe it’s uncouth but absinthe is the drink for creative sorts who don’t play it safe. Who refuse to conform. Saz me.

Gloomy Thursday

Last Thursday I awoke to cloudy skies and dour drizzle befitting of the audition for a goth character I had that day. As I applied one more coating of black mascara I channeled the spirit of…ennui.
I think I did okay:

Please excuse that moment of utter vanity.

In the car on my way to the casting office I blasted Skinny Puppy, Bauhaus, and Haujob.

Oddly enough all this darkness is what makes me feel incredibly good. Happy, even. I have good twisted memories associated with goth music. They must be signs of my truly goth nature which lurks beneath. It does not really lurk though. It makes itself known in the form of my mostly black clothing. D’oh.

That night, still happily wallowing in crimson lipstick, I made a cocktail with the gothiest of goth names: Death in the Afternoon.

I have discovered I like absinthe. Danger!

At thanksgiving my fwife gave me some lovely French absinthe to take home. Smart woman.

I have no more pithy mots for y’all.
Although I must point out my stellar abilities to use words like mot and y’all in the same sentence.

Get some absinthe. If you cannot find it substitute Pernod, ouzo or sambuca. Or chew on a mouthful of anise seeds or tarragon. Or eat a handful of black jellybeans for the licorice-ish flavor of absinthe.

Actually, black jellybeans would be the perfect gothic accompaniment to this drink. Awesome.

Both me and the drink.
And you, too for reading my ramblings.

That was a lot more mots than I had planned.

Death in the Afternoon adapted (barely) from The Ultimate Bar Book by Mittie Hellmich
1 oz. absinthe
Champagne
Pour absinthe into the champagne flute. Swirl the flute to coat the insides of the flute with absinthe like melancholy coats your troubled soul. Top with champagne. Contemplate the bubbles as representative of your many woes.
Sigh.