Birds! St. Louis! Go go go! And a Mess

I wished for something red to make for you guys, as I am cheering on my Redbirds in the World Series. I wished for something to use up meringues from the column I was writing for Hello Giggles. I wanted something easily gobble-able whilst on my couch screaming for Beltran.

I am running between the aforementioned Giggles, auditions, my third short film to shoot this month, improv shows, improv practice, a new scene study class, and a new assignment from Blackboard Eats.

This is good. I have no brainpower left.

And I apologize or rattling off my to do lists here. I’ll get back to the food.

I made food representative of my mind-state which is A MESS!

Voila, mofos. The Eton Mess.

This meringue recipe was intended for shells to make pavlovas, but I imagine you could just dollop it out for cookies too.

ps yes, I used reddi-whip. I am pretty sure real whipped cream would make this superlative.

Messy Bird Food adapted from a pavlova recipe by America’s Test Kitchen’s Baking Illustrated
For meringues:
• two egg whites
• 1/8 tsp. cream of tartar
• ½ cup sugar
• ¼ tsp. almond extract
• ¼ tsp. vanilla extract
For the rest of dessert:
*whipped cream to your liking
*strawberries, also to your liking
*sugar, if you find it necessary but the meringues and whipped cream will probably do it.
Heat oven to 200 degrees Fahrenheit. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. If you have a whisk attachment for your mixer, now’s the time to use it. If you are beating these egg whites by hand, I’m sorry. Your arm is going to be sore when you are done. Beat the egg whites at medium-low speed until they are foamy. Add the cream of tartar and increase speed to medium-high. Beat until thick and billow-y like newly lathered shaving cream. Slowly sprinkle in ¼ cup sugar, vanilla and almond extracts. Beat just until incorporated. Turn off mixer. Use whisk to fold in the rest of the sugar. Scoop it out in ¼ cup amounts onto the parchment (you should get six) and use a big spoon to create hollows that you will be putting filling in. I had to do a bit of cheating, spooning extra around the edges to create a basin in the middle. Do what you gotta do. Bake about 1 ½ hours, or until dry and sturdy exteriors. Turn the oven off but leave the shells in for several hours to get dried. If you store these in an airtight container they will keep for about two weeks.
Mash about half the berries. If you think they need sweetening do it now. Some recipes I found for Eton Mess called for layering the elements, others called for folding them all together. I layered. Then I could fold together bite by fluffy bite.

Go Cardinals!

Third Annual Pumpkin Week in Spring Day Four: Pumpkin Black Bean Soup

Omg you guys, there’s like, totally another Ellen. I’m not talking about Degenerous either. There’s another Ellen food blogger who calls her blog Ellen in the Kitchen and naturally I am seized with the fear that she may be prettier, recipe-er and wittier than I. So I say to myself, “Cliffy, it ain’t a competition”, which is true. At least that is what I’m saying to myself. I must say she did well with this soup which I changed only a little bit from the original recipe.

Pumpkin black bean soup is luscious, it almost has chocolate notes. That was the only inspired prose I had for you.

So I fed it to the same gentleman who gave me the description of “gourmet McNuggets” when I asked him about his sweetbreads, and this description made it past my editor at Blackboard Eats in my Joe’s review, so naturally I will quote him here.

He said “tastes like autumn”.

Feel the brilliance.

He also mentioned that this bowl of autumn would be good with croutons. He was eating the last of my soup (I accidentally typed soul instead of soup which may be accurate too) when he mentioned the croutons so I didn’t try it yet.

Perhaps one of you would like to prove him right.

Pumpkin Black Bean Soup adapted from this here blog
1 cup pumpkin purée
1 can o’ black beans (about half of them mashed with a fork)
1 cup of diced tomatoes (I used canned)
Olive oil spray
1/4 c. Diced onion
1 clove minced garlic
2 tsp. cumin
1/2 tsp. kosher salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. allspice
1/4 tsp. ground black pepper
Dash cayenne
2 c. Veggie broth
It’s easy. Spray a pot with olive oil. Sauté the onion and garlic in it. Add everything else. Simmer to thicken. Purée with ye olde immersion blendere.

Braised tempeh

My mistress, my lover, my one and only, i.e. my career, has kept me busy running about this year. Class! Audition! Improv! Stand-up! Writing! Screening!

This weekend she had a little soirée to attend where I praised her work in a little movie we watched that will be in the Chiller Network in May. She did ok. And I’m her worst critic. But I will be asking y’all to watch “Listen, My Children” in a couple of months.

I realized after doing stand-up last Monday (and after agreeing to do it again on the 15th!) that my mistress, Mz. Work, was tired. And hungry.

She came along when I ate at Caffe Roma to write this Blackboard Eats review, published today, but my official meat taster out-ate the both of us, as he usually does.

So I said ok, I’ll cook just for you.

I made her tempeh. And tonight I’m making her cinnamon rolls. Stay tuned!

Braised Tempeh for Your One and Only adapted from Mark Bittman’s How to Cool Everything Vegetarian

Olive oil spray
2 oz. tempeh, crumbled
3/4 tsp. minced garlic
3/4 tsp. ginger purée (I used jarred, feel free to use fresh)
Freshly ground pepper
Sea salt
1 cup diced tomato (I used canned)
1 Tbsp. soy sauce
Big handful of baby spinach
2 chopped green onions
1 Tbsp. chopped parsley
Spray a pan with olive oil and heat over medium-high. Add tempeh. Cook and stir, and when it gets a bit of color add garlic, ginger, and a sprinkle salt and pepper. Sauté a bit longer, until the tempeh is deeper colored. Add tomatoes and soy sauce, bring to a boil, then lower to a simmer until thickened. Stir in spinach, parsley and onions. Stir and cook just until the spinach wilts. Watch your lover melt in your arms after they taste it. Whee!

Sticky

Sticky situation, when you make something as a gift and there is something wrong with it. See number two.

Two things I learned in the last week:

1) Just when you have given up on something, that is when it comes back. I had not gotten assigned a review from Blackboard Eats in forever (despite writing a month or so ago to remind them of my presence on their roster of reviewers) and decided that either my last review must have been horrible or that they had found more writers whom they liked better. Then out of nowhere they sent me to Sage which I reviewed here. Seriously the best vegan food ever. Go to Echo Park and indulge.

2) Pull your hair back in the kitchen. I made a new gingerbread recipe to give a friend for Christmas. I put a bit of the batter in a single muffin tin so I would be able to try it. I gave the gingerbread to my luckylucky friend. Later on, I tasted the muffin. Hot diggity, Cook’s Illustrated is the best. So I waited to hear what my friend thought.

He thought it was pretty good except one of my hairs was in it. Humiliation.
What the hell kind of Christmas present is that?

Pull your hair back in the kitchen.

3) Apparently I am intriguing and/or amusing enough to merit a Liebster award! The delightful super-runner-ridiculously-smart (she’s on her way to being a doctor) Nadiya nominated me. I gots me some facts (11) to give, some questions (11) to answer and some questions (11) to ask (surprise!) eleven other bloggers. It is a narcissists dream, I tell ya. Skip to past the recipe for all the Liebster lovin’.

For those of you who just want some sticky sweets, get cleaned up and get yer bake on.

This is the best gingerbread I’ve ever made and I shall love it forevah and evah cross my heart and secure my hairnet.

Gingerbread from Baking Illustrated (adapted jut a tad from Cook’s Illustrated)

2 1/4 c. Sifted flour
2 Tbsp. buttermilk powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. ground ginger
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. cloves
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 tsp. allspice
1 tsp. Dutch-processed cocoa powder
8 Tbsp. butter-melted and cooled to room temp
3/4 c. Molasses(not the robust or blackstrap type)
3/4 c. Sugar
1/2 c. Water
1/2 c. Almond milk
1 egg
Heat the oven to 350 F.
Whisk flour, buttermilk powder, baking soda, salt, ginger, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, allspice and cocoa together.
In another bowl beat butter, molasses, sugar, water, almond milk, and egg on low speed one minute.
Add to dry ingredients and beat on medium for a couple of minutes, scraping the sides of the bowl to get all the flour in. But don’t get carried away, you don’t want a ton of air whipped into this.
Spray a 9-inch square pan (I first lines mine with nonstick foil) with nonstick spray. I deeply fear sticking. Pour batter in. Even out with a spatula. Bake around 40 minutes. You want the top to spring back a bit when you lovingly touch it, and the sides should be pulling away. Take out. Cool as much or little as ye please.

Liebster time!

11 Random Facts
1) I wrote a play about breasts called FLAT: a play about small breasts and everything else that’s great in life.
2) I go hiking at night-the Sierra Club leads these arse-kicking hikes through Griffith Park that are perfect for vampires like me.
3) When I was 14 I hung out with satanist vampire wanna-be’s nearly twice my age. Stupid move on everyone’s part, but I’ve got stories to tell.
4) I have a bionic arm. The white stuff is metal:

5) I used to draw all the time. In college I even took classes at the art school part of Wash U but between studio time drawing and rehearsal/class time for acting I ran out of time and frankly, creative energy
6) I love animals. I wanted to be a vet up until I was maybe 14 and changed my plan to acting.
7) I was a C-section baby
8) I am a hard-core minimalist when it comes to furniture and decor. There is nothing more beautiful than empty space. I don’t like owning too much stuff, although I hang on to clothes because I never know when I’ll need something for a role or audition.
9) I don’t love kale (I prefer Swiss chard) and I think agave syrup is no good. No good at all. Give me some friggin’ corn syrup.
10) I played and performed taiko drums with a group in St. Louis. Taiko drums are the large, thundering Japanese drums. Here is me doing it! We got hired to play all over the Midwest, actually. If you want to see them, contact them here.
11) I am getting really into wine and cocktail mixing but I hate being drunk and avoid it much as I can. I don’t mind getting relaxed yeah, I really hate feeling drunk

And now my answers to Nadiya’s questions. I’d list the questions but based on my answers I am going hope y’all can figure them out.
1) Number one thing I love about having my blog is probably when I can be really funny or maybe it’s that I am much more experimental than unused to be. No, it’s the laughter thing.
2) My relatives do know about my blog.
3) If I could change one thing about the world it would be that we’d follow the golden rule more and treat others the way we want to be treated.
4) My favorite song is…geez, I don’t know. Something by Nine Inch Nails, if I really had to pick. Or Bach’s cello suite number one in G major.
5) If I could learn another language it would be Japanese, I started classes in it in college but remember nothing. Heh, I could talk to my agent in his original language then think it is a beautiful language though and I’d like to visit Japan…
6) …which brings me to my dream destination: Japan. Of places I’ve never been I want to go there-of places I’ve been though I really want to go back to Paris.
7) The craziest thing I’ve ever done was probably the weird eating/exercising behavior I had when I was all eating disordered and stuff.
8) My favorite subject in school was probably art class. No, Spanish class. No, art.
9) I never cheated on a test.
10) My favorite hot beverage is a cup of coffee at Meshuggah in St. Louis. They hand make each cup, basically giving you an Americano: espresso and hot water.
11) If safety were no an issue a pet snow tiger would be lovely.

My nominated bloggers-who I am not sure if even read my blog but we shall see…and guys, if quizzes aren’t your thang, feel free to skip and take my nomination as an expression of my admiration for what you do:)
1) Sabrina at Miboso. Full of good life stuff from one of the most caring and lovely humans I have the privilege of knowing.
2) Joy the Baker who I am positive doesn’t read my blog but if you don’t read her already, you should.
3) Shin’s Vegan Lovin’
Even if you aren’t vegan, she makes awesome vegan bento that are too cute in all the right ways. Go ooh and ah at the adorable creations.
4) Eden who writes Eden Eats Everything. She is so funny and probably too cool to be reading this, but I’d love to know her answers.
5) Ellie, one of the sisters who write Boots n Burbs. You never know what little bit of awesome-ousity they’ll be posting from music to vocabulary to clothing.
6) Melissa at Melissa Was Here. She’s a model. Tells it like it is.
7) Ameena at Fancy That, Fancy This who chronicles her life in a way that you can’t stop reading. Ameena, if you are too busy or find this a pain in the arse to do, no sweat-I can only imagine how wickedly busy life as a working mom is. But the offer to take part is yours if you like.
8) Kelly at Foodie Fiasco. So clever you wouldn’t believe she’s 15.
9) Averie who writes Averie Cooks. Great recipes!
10) Either one or both of the Spoon Fork Bacon girls. Their
photography is smashing.
11) Eleanor who founded this site with me and now writes the interesting and informative Vicinity Blog. Go read it and contemplate her genius. She’s my fwife so of course I want to know what she’s thinking. Although I know her busy life so Eleanor of you don’t wanna do it, no sweat.

Now the questions, many of which have possibly been asked before:
1) What is your favorite office supply? For instance, are you a post-it abuser or is the three-hole punch more your style? Do tell.
2) If forced to wear one color forever what would it be?
3) Favorite adult beverage-you can give both a summer and winter one if you want, because I know the season affects choices. Kelly (or any bloggers who don’t drink)you can tell me a non-adult drink or if you like the virgin types of alcoholic drink you enjoy.
4) Do you root, root, root, for any team or love any sport? Did you play it?
5) Do you keep your nails or toes polished? How and by who?
6) Write me a four sentence short story.
7) Do you prefer shoes, socks, slippers or bare feet?
8) Have any phobias?
9) What do you geek out about? Comics? Cooking? Movies? Chemistry? Inquiring minds want to know.
10) Were you an only child? Or if you had siblings, how many and where do you fall in the line-up?
11) What is the best thing about and/or favorite place to go where you live?

Phew, that was exhausting. I’m spent. I’m going to eat some more Christmas cookies now.