THE LATEST. Because I cannot help but be puny.
And some people have two cherries.
THE WOManhattan
2 oz. Maker’s Mark Bourbon
1 oz. sweet vermouth (I used Martini and Rossi)
Lots of angostura bitters
2 Luxardo cherries
Stir bourbon, vermouth and bitters over ice. Strain into chilled coupes and add cherries.
I wanted to invent some drinks that were all my own. I wanted to use up some herbs and bottles of alcohol that had little left. And I wanted to put my bottle of Cynar to the task.
So I came up with two new drinks, to be debuted at the pie and cocktails party Alice and I were hosting.
I gave these cocktails the names of Using What You Got and The Big Red Cat.
The Big Red Cat is in reference to the kids’ books about the big red dog, who is named Clifford. As am I. But puppy I am not. Actually I am part cat. I want to be petted and loved but only when I want to be. And I like to snooze all day. Insomniac here.
Is it just me or is snooze a kitty word? Speaking of kittens:
That was early in the day last Saturday. The kitten rescue has actual kittens (as opposed to adult cats) right now. I tried to take better pictures but they were not keen on staying still.
Later that night Alice and I partayed with pie, friends, and very, very potent drinks. It did not occur to me that a lot of my friends were mostly beer and wine people and not used to my potent beverages.
I handed Alice a The Big Red Cat and her first analysis was that it tasted like a drink she’d get at a bespoke bar like No Vacancy. Well, it was.
Some were particularly pleased with the limoncello and ginger liqueur additions.
My friend Maurice just said the same thing he says any time I hand him a drink involving bourbon which is “tastes like cough syrup”. The man pours Tabasco on everything and and approximately zero taste buds left. We gave him a glass of mulled wine that Alice made instead.
My English Farmhouse Cheddar Pie, taken from Savory Pies by Greg Henry was demolished in about ten minutes. A friend showed up with apples and I crafted them into a pie, schooling all who were interested in how to form lattice.
This is my social life of choice.
Let’s drink to that.
The Using What You Got
2 oz. Bourbon
1/2 oz. Limoncello
3/4 oz. Cynar
2-3 dashes chocolate Aztec bitters
3 sprigs of thyme plus one to garnish.
Muddle thyme, limoncello, bitters, and Cynar. Add ice and bourbon. Stir. Strain into a cocktail glass and garnish with a thyme sprig.
The Big Red Cat
1/2 oz. Campari
1/2 oz. Cynar
1 oz. Rye
1 oz. Dry vermouth
2-3 dashes of Peychaud’s bitters
1 tsp. ginger liqueur
Stir it all over ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Add one giant ice cube.
Kudos to whoever found this balance. It is exquisite. An Old Pal makes you feel good-that is if you stop yourself before mixing too many.
Unlike the massive hug of an old pal, which makes you feel good no matter how many.
May I talk about hugs? Hugs save the day. I could really use one.
It’s quite busy here. I acted in yet another lil’ thing today and am improv-ing and throwing together lovely little things for Hello Giggles like this:
Ooh, and I have a new headshot:
Well that’s one of them anyway.
And I’m concocting new things for another one of those pie parties Alice and I throw. So you’ve got that to look forward to.
So I’m not going to blather on right now, and just recommend this simple drink.
One more random thought: I feel like people need to stop beginning every sentence with “I feel like”.
Old Pal from Bon Appetit
3 Tbsp. bourbon
2 Tbsp. Campari
2 Tbsp. dry vermouth
Orange twist.
Stir all liquids in a glass with ice. Strain into a chilled glass. Run orange rind around the rim then twist and drop in. Drop everything for a friend.
Strong drinks, strong woman. See how powerful I’ve become? Lifting whole boulders I am. And…lifting a microphone again. Next Monday April 1st I’m doing stand-up again at the Comedy Store, 9pm. Yikes.
What goes with comedy? Drinks, dang it.
Recently in all my mixing it up at home I’ve made awesome things, and made drafts of blog posts for them. Then before I can post them, boom, another big popular site like Bon Appetit will feature the same drink and I see little point in posting my “discovery”. Last time it was the New York sour.
SO! I am posting the Godfather AND the Dobbs, and actually kind of hope they show up everywhere. After I post this. Then I can pretend like it was all me, trailblazer that I am.
The Godfather.
Can I get a fuck yah?
It’s like an amaretto sour for people who are awesome.
If amaretto sours had bourbon in them.
Godfather from the Bartender’s Choice app, in my own words
2 1/4 oz. bourbon
1/2 oz. amaretto
2 dashes angostura bitters
Put a big ass ice cube in a chilled glass. Add everything. Everything. Stir. Sip.
And now the Dobbs! Can I tell you the happiness of not spending 30 bucks for a bottle of Fernet Branca that it would take a lifetime to use? I was so happy to see a tiny sized one, since about a teaspoon, if that, is all you need.
If you make this: Don’t be designated driver.You might be drunk on the Dobbs. Brought to you by the letter D and me, the letter after D, E.
Dobbs from The Bartender’s Choice app, inspired by Short Order, and garnished by moi
2 oz. bourbon
1 oz. sweet vermouth
A goodly rinse of Fernet Branca
2 cherries, but only if they are tasty ones like Luxardo
Chill the cup you’d like to drink from and a cup to mix in.
Pour somewhere between a dash and a dosage of Fernet into the drinking cup and rotate to coat the sides and bottom. There should be a very, very tiny bit of Fernet, but don’t dump it. In the mixing cup add the bourbon and sweet vermouth. Add ice, give it a good stirring, then drain into the drinking vessel. Drop in the cherries. Delightful. Done.
Says me. Saz me. I could not resist.
I like that I like bourbon. Is that weird? It’s like an ego thing. Now at least the people that doubt my taste in booze when I say I hate alllll beer can be comforted by the fact that I like bourbon.
I found out I like Bourbon because I enjoy absinthe (in a cocktail, anyway) and ordered up a Sazerac one day. Holy moly, that was a stiff drink. After sending it back because I tasted zero absinthe (it supposedly had been “misted” with absinthe but I think the bartender’s interpretation of “mist” was to hold the bottle near the drink and maybe hope the scent would transmit somehow), I really enjoyed it and was surprised to find out it was mostly bourbon.
But there is more-oh yes!
I liked the aesthetic.
How I like a Saz is half-taste, half the-whole-thing. The glass. The name. The lore. The experience. Priceless? Not really but who cares.
I tried a few different iterations of Sazeracs at home to concoct the perfect one. Perfect for me, anyway. My first attempts were seen on the Gruel here. Unlike my perfect Camparied up Cosmo I came up with, the Mo-ellen, my Saz recipe is not just for the beverage, but for the whole process.
First let’s break down the elements of this liquid refreshment.
Base alcohol: bourbon, rye, or (in The Ultimate Bar Book’s version for the original sazerac), cognac. Cognac? Apparently when the drink started in France that was the beverage of choice. No, no, and no. I do like cognac but bourbon makes it better. Rye is ok, but I think bourbon makes the smoother blend.
Sugar type: simple syrup, sugar cube or sugar. I say cube. Aesthetics, people. If you even think “agave” you need another drink.
Absinthe method: shake, swirl in glass and discard extra, or stir. I say swirl but don’t dump! What a waste of pricy liqueur. And I like a little stronger taste of it. At least sip the excess straight. Straight up absinthe-youcan do it! After all you are a badass who likes bourbon now.
Bitters: peychaud, angostura or both.
I like mostly peychaud with a dash or so of angostura.
Mixing/serving: stirred, shaken, rocks, or up. I don’t like drinks on the rocks usually, but I liked a cooling element so now is time for the fancy giant cube. I actually molded mine by lining an espresso cup with plastic then filling and freezing. Ran under hot water to get out and voila!
Giant cube:
So bespoke.
Extras: water, lemon juice, lemon twist
I favored just a touch of fresh-squeezed lemon juice for brightness, as well as a twist.
Now I give you my recipe for
The Sazerac Experience
Giant ice cube
Sugar cube
Peychaud bitters to saturate sugar
A couple dashes Angostura bitters
Scant tsp. absinthe
2 oz. good bourbon
1 tsp. freshly squeezed lemon juice
A lemon peel twist
Have that big cube ready in the freezer. Select your glass. I’m still on a hunt for the perfect old-fashioned glass for me. I’d like one slightly more slender than the standard with a good weight to it. You want a glass that says bad-ass mixed with elegance. Until I find mine, the one that feels best in my hand, I’m enjoying my glass with a skull on it.
Add absinthe and swirl to coat sides. If you don’t love absinthe you can get rid of any excess after this. I say keep it. Add sugar cube. Saturate the cube with the bitters. The extra absinthe comes in handy to get the sugar dissolving. Shake the bourbon and lemon juice with ice then strain into the glass. Add giant ice cube and really swirl. The sugar cube should really be dissolving. Now run the lemon twist around the top of the glass and drop it in. Ahhh. Savor that sucker. Now the real reason for the sugar cube. When you get to the bottom of the glass some of it will be left and you can dip your pinkie in and taste the sugar-y, bitters-y goodness. The drink’s dessert. Maybe it’s uncouth but absinthe is the drink for creative sorts who don’t play it safe. Who refuse to conform. Saz me.
I introduced you to the culinary stylings of my brother’s mad scientist compadre (whom we are calling MM) with this purple pie.
Twas’ unfair, really, as I should have started with his AMAZING cranberry concoctions. He made both sweet and savory cranberry sauces, the former saving my not-sweet-enough-and-underspiced-because-my-brother-doesn’t-properly-stock-his-kitchen pumpkin pie when I got the brilliant idea to use it as a pie topping, the latter receiving raves from all carnivores on hand.
I’m thinking a New Year’s resolution will be to not use so many run-on sentences.
And to not resort to terse monosyllabic sarcasm instead.
Elegantly crafted sentences of the proper coherent length!
Someday.
The sauces! MM gave me his estimation of what he did. A mad scientist never make notes while cooking, they just maniacally stir cauldrons and cackle. Or so I like to imagine MM doing in chilly Chicago where the cold seeps into the brains of its residents and leads them to such kitchen shenanigans.
Back in LA I made scaled down renditions of the sauces, even the bacon one! Litelife makes surprisingly tasty smoky tempeh strips called Fakin’ Bacon. MM is a renegade chef so I figured I should follow in his spirit and not be tied down to what he had done.
Here be my tempeh-bacon version:
Sip a Sazerac while making these.
I did.
Actually I made two different Sazerac recipes, from which I plan to concoct my ideal Saz and post it later. But you see the first two versions hanging out behind the bacon sauce.
Never thought “bacon sauce” would be words blogged here.
And good golly!
Apparently I like not only absinthe, but bourbon. Trouble’s a brewing!
Bourbon, berries, and bacon, baby.
MM’s Orange-Whiskey Cranberries, my adaptations (because I didn’t have enough cranberries and booze) in parenthesis
1 1/2 bags of cranberries (I had only two cups)
Juice of two oranges (I used one)
Zest of one orange (1/2 an orange)
About 4 shots of bourbon (4 Tbsp. of Jameson)
1 1/2 c. Brown sugar (1/2 c. Brown, 1/4 of white)
1 tsp. cinnamon (1/2 tsp. cinnamon and a dash of nutmeg)
Put everything in a pan, add H2O to a bit below the cranberry line. Bring to boil then reduce and thicken to taste. Add salt to taste. Gets thicker as it cools so leave it a wee bit soupy, says me. If you made a pumpkin pie that wasn’t sweet enough too, use this as a topping!
MM’s Bacon Cranberries
8 slices of bacon (3 slices “Fakin’ Bacon-LiteLife’s smoky tempeh bacon strips)
1 Vidalia onion, chopped (1/3 c. Chopped yellow onion)
Garlic (I used 1/2 tsp. chopped)
1 chopped Granny Smith apple (1/3 c. Chopped Fuji apple)
1.5 bags cranberries (2 c.)
Water to come up 1 inch below cranberries
1 1/2 c. Sugar (1/2 cup)
Chili powder (1 tsp.)
Sriracha (2 tsp.)
A bouquet garni of black peppercorn, rosemary and bay leaf (A grind or so of black pepper, a pinch of dried rosemary, bay leaf)
Salt to taste
If using bacon, render the fat, chop bacon and set bacon aside. Use the fat to cook onion, garlic and apple. If not using bacon, chop the Fakin’ and set it aside. Spray pot with a nonstick spray before sautéing onion, garlic and apple. Add cranberries, water, sugar, Sriracha, chili powder, bouquet garni or black pepper, rosemary, and bay leaf (and if you are using the Fakin’ add it now) and reduce. If using regular bacon add once it cools, add salt if you like. Don’t forget to take out the bouquet garni, or bay leaf if using the dried herbs.
Scrumptious Gruel 