Cosmania Day Six

Ok, the week has finished and I have learned what makes a Cosmopolitan work.

Yet my work is nevah evah done.

I found that the citron vodka is so very worth it. Pay the price, if an excellant Cosmo is what you desire. A bit more than half fresh lime juice to vodka works. Vodka and Cointreau in a 3:2 ratio. Provided you are using cranberry juice cocktail use equal parts of that and lime juice. And garnish with lime, not lemon.

But I was not satisfied. In my quest to perfect the Cosmo and give it the winning edge, I wanted to give it some brawn. Some might. The Cosmo has brains, but they are stifled by the insistance of society that Cosmos be relegated to woman.

So I added in a factor with a bit of machismo: Campari.

It is bitter. The stuff of Negronis. Now, it is also the stuff of not-just-a-drink-for-females.

The Mo-ellen.

I’d call it Moen but people would expect a hot and cold dial.

As a bonus I am throwing in a variation created by the lovely Alice.

Make it and love it. Know that you are no longer sipping a girl drink, you are drinking a universal elixir.

Oh yes.

The Mo-ellen(created by Ellen Clifford, for a little mo’ ellen in your life)
1/2 oz. Campari
1/2 oz. Cointreau
1 1/2 oz. citron vodka
1 oz. lime
1 1/2 oz. cranberry juice cocktail(your results will be even less sweet if you use regular juice)
Lime slice to garnish.
Shake up. Strain. Garnish. Sip.

For an Mo-Alicell top off with champagne. You lose a bit of macho but gain a bit of class.

Cosmania Day Three

No entertaining videos for you today, but if you missed yesterday’s Girl Drink Drunk bit from Kids in the Hall, or Monday’s trailer for my play, well then, click those links and get giggling.
No nevermind, please don’t giggle.
I don’t like the word giggle. No that’s not right. The word is fine, but I would hate my laugh to be described as “giggling”, it just seems so…obnoxious. Like laughing in a bratty way.
C’est tout.
Booze:
Cranberry-esque Cosmopolitan from The Bar Book by Mittie Hellmich
2 oz. citron vodka
3/4 oz. Cointreau
1 oz. cranberry juice cocktail(I reiterate that I used the cocktail, t’would probably be less sweet without)
1 oz. fresh lime juice
Lemon twist
Shake all but lemon twist with ice, garnish with lemon twist.
ANALYSIS
Color-Snapple-esque?
Refreshing factor-not terribly
Sweetness-syrup-y finish
Balance-despite having more vodka, not terribly alcohol-y
Cran-factor- moderate
Rating B+

Probably the larger proportion of cranberry juice cocktail made it sweeter. Or perhaps having less Cointreau makes it less sweet since it lacks the bitter orange bite? I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve actually tasted it straight up. Hmm. Things to do.

Cosmania Day Two

This is my(and the Kids in the Hall’s) disclaimer to my advice to drink pink:
Don’t be a Girl Drink Drunk.

As long as you steer clear of coconuts you should be ok.
Let’s talk about this Cosmo.

This recipe required an extra purchase: citron vodka.
Hot diggity-dog that was worth it.

If I were truly a hip, bespoke, dare-I-say mixologist (just did), I’d make my own flavored vodkas. But I am not that cool. I say hot diggity-dog, not even ironically, and thus I buy my flavored vodka.

And I say thus. Crap. But I do make my own vanilla extract: look here for that!

And getting Martha makes me at least a little bit of a bad-ass. There I feel better, I’ll drink to that!

Original Cosmopolitan from The Bar Book by Mittie Hellmich
1 1/2 oz. citron vodka
1 1/2 oz. Cointreau
1 oz. fresh lime juice
a couple of dashes of cranberry juice cocktail(not just juice-being a cocktail makes it sweeter)
lemon twist
Shake all but lemon twist with ice. Strain and garnish with twist.
ANALYSIS
Color-like new-fallen cotton candy
Refreshing factor-very
Sweetness-hardly, a touch at the end
Balance-somewhat strong alcohol
Cranberry factor-minimal
Rating A

What a difference a high proportion of fresh lime juice and the citron vodka make.

Cosmania Day One

Before the drinks, a shameless plug for my play:

Now onto business.
If you have something against pink drinks I apologize. If you are a man who will not drink a delicious beverage because it is a “girl drink” then you are a pussy.
Real men wear purple.
Real men drink pink.
Real people drink whatever the hell they feel like.
And sometimes, you just need a pink drink.
I do SO love a Cosmo. I’ve been trying and analyzing different recipes for them. So the Cosmo-off: every day this week I’ll be posting a different Cosmo recipe with an analysis. The last day I will give you my own concoction based on the data.
Incidentally, no I did not do this all in one week. And since I’m not too keen on drinking alone I did not finish them all. And I can’t drink that much.

Please note I used cranberry juice cocktail which is notably sweeter than straight-up juice.

Cosmopolitan from the Joy of Cooking 75th Anniversary edition
1/4 oz. fresh lime juice
1/2 oz. Cointreau(in Joy it is Triple Sec, but I upgraded)
1 oz. cranberry juice cocktail
1 oz. vodka
Shake over ice and strain into a glass.
ANALYSIS:
Color-bubble gum pink
Refreshing factor-moderate
Sweetness-minimal
Balance-way alcohol-y
Cranberrousity-next to non-existent
Rating-B-
Added some more cranberry and lime and it was highly improved.

Not to divulge too much but this was my least favorite of all the recipes which is a shame as Joy rarely fails me. Not that it was a failure, it just did not dominate.