Tag Archives: Cosmos

Great expectations: martinify

3 Oct

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It’s all about what you expect. If you anticipate one thing, and you get something different, that new thing might transcend what was expected. Or, no matter how wonderful it is, it is rejected as not good. An unwelcome surprise.

Life can bring unexpected good. In the last week I nabbed a small part in a short film, got to do improv at Second City Hollywood, and got the job of writing a wee little column for the popular Hello Giggles. I’ll be yakking about books and food over there. These unexpected, un-planned for happenings are the type of thing that renew my faith in life. You never know what may come. Box of chocolates. Etc.

HOWEVER! How about a harrowing tale of roughing it in LA?

Sometimes a girl just wants a nice pink cosmo.
I was in that sort of mood and ordered one at the Standard. The bartender handed me a clear drink. He informed me, with a twinkle in his eye, that somehow managed to be both twinkly and condescending, that they make their cosmos with white cranberry juice.

I guess the twinkle was for their oh-so-clever twist and the condescension was for…the fact that I wanted a Cosmo.

Half the joy in a Cosmo is the color. I swear they taste different when they look different.

If I expected and wanted a clear drink maybe I’d have loved their cheeky originality.

But no. The horror. The horror!

If you have the guts to order an old chestnut like a Cosmo you should be rewarded with a proper Cosmo.

I was also once given a clear chocolate martini and felt terribly disappointed. HOWEVER! At home, I once decided to make clear chocolate martini. It was A Choice. My nerves were steeled for what would follow. I wasn’t sure. Would I love it, would I hate it?

Would it make my eyes twinkle?

Well, I was prepared for a clear drink, and I liked it. Not sure about the twinkle factor.

Clear Chocolate Martini (from The Bar Book by Mittie Hellmich)

1 1/2 oz. vanilla vodka
1/2 oz. clear creme de cacao
Shake with ice. Strain into glass. Contemplate the chocolate factor. Decide to eat some dark chocolate, just in case.

Fit for a princess

19 Sep

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I act because I like to be other people for just a little. Or at least get inside their heads. This Saturday I’ll have the terrifically taxing role of a playing a woman at my own birthday party and…she’s into being gluten-free. That part will be quite the stretch for me.
When I was little, my first acting was probably in the make-believe games I’d play. I liked to play royalty. We’ll get back to that.

So I needed to use that citron vodka from all my Cosmos
.
That and this sounded like it could be a manly girl drink, not in name but in hard alcohol ingredients. I do love a good man-girl drink, like the mo-ellen. Oh did I just mention that?
Really guys, I am going to keep trying to get attention for the Mo-Ellen until I see it on a bar menu.

The name of this drink, “Little Princess” I don’t love. I am not a princess.
I’m a queen, always have been.

Back to playing make-believe.

My friend Anne and I used to play with my mom’s dusters when we were quite young. Imaginative sorts that we were we used them like scepters and pretended we were royalty.
Me mum had two dusters, a slightly raggedy feather one and a poofy wool one dyed in orange hues, if memory is not totally failing me.
Now naturally we both wanted the pretty colorful one. Why?
That was the feather queen’s scepter. Total duh!

But I was such a brat. I always insisted on having that one and being feather queen and Anne got the tattered one and was merely the feather princess.

I am surprised we are still friends. Fortunately I got a wee bit more giving as the years wore on.

For instance, years after she moved away she came to visit one summer, and I shared my gothic splendor with her. We were about 15. She had white-blonde hair when she arrived and I put her back on the plane with jet-black hair.

I’m surprised her parents let her still be my friend.

Enough. Here is the drink. It’s tasty, maybe even better than a straight up vodka martini, but the name blows. I’m gonna go chill out with a duster now. On my couch(I.e. throne).

Little Princess from The Bartender’s Companion

1/8 oz. dry vermouth
1 3/4 oz. citron vodka
Lemon twist
Stir it up and garnish with the twist.
Please don’t wear a tiara.

Cosmania Day Two

19 Jun

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This is my(and the Kids in the Hall’s) disclaimer to my advice to drink pink:
Don’t be a Girl Drink Drunk.

As long as you steer clear of coconuts you should be ok.
Let’s talk about this Cosmo.

This recipe required an extra purchase: citron vodka.
Hot diggity-dog that was worth it.

If I were truly a hip, bespoke, dare-I-say mixologist (just did), I’d make my own flavored vodkas. But I am not that cool. I say hot diggity-dog, not even ironically, and thus I buy my flavored vodka.

And I say thus. Crap. But I do make my own vanilla extract: look here for that!

And getting Martha makes me at least a little bit of a bad-ass. There I feel better, I’ll drink to that!

Original Cosmopolitan from The Bar Book by Mittie Hellmich
1 1/2 oz. citron vodka
1 1/2 oz. Cointreau
1 oz. fresh lime juice
a couple of dashes of cranberry juice cocktail(not just juice-being a cocktail makes it sweeter)
lemon twist
Shake all but lemon twist with ice. Strain and garnish with twist.
ANALYSIS
Color-like new-fallen cotton candy
Refreshing factor-very
Sweetness-hardly, a touch at the end
Balance-somewhat strong alcohol
Cranberry factor-minimal
Rating A

What a difference a high proportion of fresh lime juice and the citron vodka make.