Tag Archives: cream

Chocolate Pecan Tart

24 Jun

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Seeing as the next of my epic pie parties is scheduled for next month and I still haven’t given you the tart recipe from the last one (although I more than repaid you in giving the horchata cocktail, methinks) I thought it was high time to post this.

Acting is getting busy AGAIN! Just look at my star ranking, haha. Super.

Exciting Moment in Improv

Exciting Moment in Improv

Between acting and improv (which as you see from above frequently ends with me splayed out on the floor) and this lil’ column I’ve got my hands full. You should click all those links. Because the other thing keeping me so busy is self-promotion. Haha, again. Sort of. I jest. Or do I? Even I do not know.

So let us discuss the edibles. This pie is like a giant hunk of candy. It looks pretty, it tastes like dark sunshine (the kind with antioxidants) and is much easier than you would surmise. It is one of those things I made on a whim first when I was probably not even a teen yet. If I recall correctly we bought just enough cream to make it. My dad was helping me and the two of us burnt the cream. We had to wait until we could go back to the store the next day and get more cream to finish it.

But it was so blimey good I’ve held on to and repeated the recipe many a time since the Great Cream Incident of Nine-ty Something-or-Another.

Do make this. Don’t be me and get behind on your pie. It’s important.

Chocolate Pecan Tart adapted from Bon Appetit (from their RSVP section so they got it from a restaurant I know not any longer which one though because I wrote it down and tossed the magazine long ago)
2 cups pecans
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 heaping tsp. cinnamon
2 Tbsp. butter, room temp
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 cinnamon stick
8 oz. Bittersweet chocolate
4 oz. Semisweet chocolate
Heat oven to 325. In a food processor blend nuts, sugar and cinnamon until finely ground. Add butter and blend until mixed. Press into a 9-inch tart pan with a re moveable bottom or follow my lead and line a 9-inch pan with foil so you can lift out and unmold your tart later. Bake until lightly browned, around 20 minutes. Allow to cool. Chop chocolate. Bring cream and cinnamon stick to a simmer. Stir in chocolate until melted. Pour into tart crust, removing cinnamon stick. Put in fridge to chill. Unmold before serving.

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Honor thy ancestors

14 Jul

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In a shocking move on my part, that photo is me unmade-up, untouched.

Yeah, no make-up!
Fuck you Hollywood.

Do I look anything like her?

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Allow me to tell you about a badass.
My sort-of distant relation Jane was pretty awesome. I think she was the cousin of my grandmother?

She was quite different than the rest of my family. As in she smoked. I did not really get to know her until my family took a trip to visit my aunt and cousins in Palm Beach. Jane came up from Fort. Lauderdale.

She was 80 and I was 17. The bonding factor: cigarettes.
Oh, was I a chimney. And my family hated that but tolerated it because next to my anorexic fuck-up-ed-ness it was a lesser evil.

But now I had someone to smoke with! And Jane was ridiculously smart.
So we talked and smoked and then when the cigarettes were put up and the cocktail hour came she would make Brandy Alexanders.

Which I stupidly did not drink because a smart anorexic knows how many calories are in liqueurs and heavy cream.

Jane passed away with emphysema several years ago.

Don’t smoke kids, except from the rare foolish smoke I bum whilst under the influence(I am an imperfect role model), I quit, and so should you.

PSA moment brought to you by a guilty conscious for all the shit I put my family through.

Now that I am all wise and grown(and say fuck you to both Hollywood and calories), I have I admit that Brandy Alexanders are tasty, but it’s summer so why not turn that deliciousness into a shake?

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I cannot say for sure, but I bet Jane would approve,

Brandy Alexandra(adapted from the 8,500+ Drink and Cocktail Recipes Free! App)
1 oz. brandy
1/2 oz. clear Creme de cacao
Heaping half cup vanilla ice cream
Cinnamon

Take off any make-up. From your face.
Blend all ingredients but the cinnamon. I used my immersion blender. The original recipe says to add ice. I did not.
Pour into a glass and sprinkle with cinnamon.

Be a badass. And seriously, try not to smoke.