Just for eclipse fun

Okay so this came as a free sample with eclipse sunglasses that apparently I could have sold for the price of my…I don’t know…my Vitamix? Maybe.

And because because I doubted I’d be into boozing it up during the eclipse (the peak at 10:20am) so guess what?!! I opened it up the night before.

Apothic 2015 Dark

So here’s the deal: this is the dress I had in high school. I was goth. The dress was from a chain store but crushed velvet and fit my dark persona.

As it is with this wine. Apothic is a big brand. By dark.

I can’t fault the tasting notes. Pretty much all cocoa powder and blackberries and maybe cherry preserves. That’s it. Acid is low. Alcohol is way higher than it feels: 14%. Tannins…light plus and velvety.

But mostly this is that dress that suited your goth life on high school and might still if you safe a goth with a sweet tooth.

The chocolate notes are the most prominent.

Okay so fuck it let’s go wear goggles and stare at the grandeur of Madame Nature and her eclipse. 

And sip some cocoa wine. Why not?

Goth Goodies + Goth Rice Recipe, sorry no pinot this week

Yessssss. I love goth goodies. Things that speak macabre. Or dark. But if they shout Hot Topic I’m out. It’s a fine line, people.

But I dig:

Black jelly beans.

blood oranges.

Beets.

Red wine.

Red kool aid.

But then pink can be goth too.

Oh and DARK chocolate duh.

Pinot NOIR.

I could go for some of that right now.

That being said some prefab goth food is amazzzzzze. Like these skulls:

  
Rightttttt? FIKA also makes chocolate in pill bottles. The feel is like some sort of city grime darkness addict je ne sais quoi vibe. It’s hot. Plus goth.

Also I am into goth because that is when I am at my hottest. Obvi important. Everyone has a style that fits them best and when I am gothed out, well, sometimes people that only see me grimy (improv teams, dancers) are sorta surprised when they see me done up. Like, “Hey, I didn’t realize you were capable of being Attractive ” surprised. Which is semi-insulting: “if you just cover half your face in black eyeliner you’ll look great!”  But I take the compliment. I think it just suits my pallor.
So let’s have goth rice and chill.

Dark and Moody Rice
Adapted from The Athlete’s Cookbook by Corey Irwin and Brett Stewart
Olive oil spray
1/2 c. Diced yellow onion
1 tsp. minced garlic
1 small bay leaf
1/2 c. Black rice
1 1/2 c. Water
3 Tbsp. Diced roasted red bell pepper-I used jarred
1/4 tsp. salt
1/8 tsp. red pepper flakes
1 tsp. paprika
Fresh cilantro to garnish
In a saucepan, heat the oil then turn heat to low and add onion, garlic and bay leaf. Cook about five minutes until onion is softened. Add the rice and turn heat to medium. Cook a couple of minutes, stirring periodically. Add the water, stir, and cover. Cook the rice undisturbed until softened but not overly so-around twenty minutes. Stir in everything else but the cilantro and cook about five more minutes, until the rice is done but still firm. Take off heat, dish up and garnish with cilantro.

Green, not with envy

Ohmygod life right now. Whereas I spent a good chunk of this year envying everyone who didn’t have disaster crashing down on there heads-did I tell you about my collapsing ceiling? I had an entire ceiling collapse of its own accord earlier this year.

I counted myself as lucky that I wasn’t in the room when it happened but it still sucked. And I wasn’t getting enough jobs and a potential book deal didn’t end up happening and there was briefly a boy and just as quickly not one (silly boy) and so on.

Things always do improve though at some point. The last couple of months have been fantastic. Although initially distraught when one of my two improv teams broke up, suddenly we had the time to shoot all the films n such we’d been wanting to make. So we did shoot a bunch of shorts and several weeks ago I got to be a goth vampire. It was really delightful fun:

I realize I don’t look like I’m having fun. I was trying to make fun of that silly model pose. Where they suck in their stomach like they need to or something. As if. Blech.

I also got to play a heroin addict in a web series but I will spare you the pictures of how incredibly disgusting I spent my days on set being. Let’s just say there were track marks, massive bruises, and…greasy, greasy, GREASY stringy hair. Anytime I sit down to get my hair done on set and the stylist starts with “now, the way I rat your hair it’ll be easy to untangle”, it is a bad sign. Because the day will end with me ripping out masses of hair that won’t come un-ratted. But the pain (inner and outer) was worth it. I hadn’t played a dramatic role in a while and it sho nuff filled me up.

On the food front I am starting to get more cookbooks sent to me by publicists to write about in my Hello Giggles column. I’m pleased to report the most popular review yet was about Savory Pies, written by Greg Henry magnificent Sippity Sup….night swimming. I became even more a fan when he invited me to join The Table Set for a little Nightswimming and drinks n nibbles with him and the Set. They are positively as lovely to hang out with in person as they are to insert in my earholes. It’s a podcast people. Get out of your filthy heads.

Earlier this weekend I shot a spec episode this lil’ show I came up with called Girls on Girls. I could explain how it isn’t SO dirty but I’d rather let your filthy minds wander where they need to. Until we get picked up.

So right now, needing a new agent, sans romance, not dipping where I’d like to be on that silly imdb star rating…I’m not so bothered by it.

What am I bothered by? The distress I felt the other day as I combed grocery store after grocery store in search of my beloved rainbow chip frosting. Which apparently is now a rainbow sprinkles frosting. Fucking sprinkles. I do not believe in sprinkles-either the vulgar-tasting frosting maggots or the cupcake store. Cupcakes, along with sprinkles, can go to heck. What I like I a good SLICE of blimey CAKE on a PLATE! With a FORK! Wow. Wanna get me riled up? Just start talking cupcake smack. Blech again. UGh. Sorry. Walking it off.

I now will let you eat cake.

Green Velvet Cake with Bailey’s Buttercream adapted from 75th Anniversary The Joy of Cooking by Irma S. Rombauer, Marion Rombauer Becker and Ethan Becker
For the Cake:
2 1/3 cups sifted cake flour (which means sift a bunch first, then measure it)
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1 1/2 tsp. cocoa powder
1/4 cup powdered buttermilk (or whatever your brand says is the equivalent to one cup of buttermilk-if you have real buttermilk you can leave this out)
3/4 cup unsalted butter
1 1/3 cup sugar
3 large eggs, whisked together
1 tsp. vanilla, whisked with the eggs
1 cup water (or, if you left out the powdered buttermilk, use real buttermilk here and don’t try to use regular milk-it lacks the acidity you need)
about a Tbsp. food coloring
For the Frosting:
1/2 cup butter
2-3 cups powdered sugar
2-3 Tbsp. Bailey’s Irish Cream
Get all your ingredients out of the fridge, you want them around 70 degrees before starting. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Spray two 9-inch cake pans with nonstick spray, or butter them.
For the cake:
Whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, buttermilk powder (if using) and cocoa powder.

Beat the butter until it is good and creamy. Keep the speed high and slowly add in the sugar. Make sure it is nice and fluffy before proceeding. Slowly beat in the eggs and vanilla. Now turn your mixer to low. Beat in a third of the flour mixture, then half of the water or buttermilk and all the food coloring-I just dripped in the color until I was satisfied with how it looked. Then beat in another third of the flour mixture and the second half of the water. You may need to scrape down the bowl some. Beat in the last third of the flour. Beat it good. Divide it between the pans and bake 25-35 minutes. You may want to rotate the pans in the oven midway to so they cook evenly. You know your cake is done when a toothpick stuck in the middle of the cake comes out clean. Well there may be a crumb or two, you just don’t want it coated in batter. Start testing early because you really don’t want to over bake this.
For the frosting:
Beat the butter until fluffy. Beat in powdered sugar carefully. No sugar blizzards please. Beat in the irish cream until you have a nice consistency.
Once the cake is cooled, ya frost. Yeah cake.

Pie parties, horchata cocktails, and what the hell am I doing?

Goth-chata

Firstly, I devised the horchata cocktail. Me. Moi. Then literally a few weeks after I came up with it the recipe I’m going to share, a new trendy restaurant called Gracias Madre opened and everyone is talking about their horchata cocktail. But mine is better. And…goth-er. Which is to say I made my own horchata OUT OF BLACK RICE.

I devised the horchata cocktail for a pie party. Details to follow the following brain hemorrhage:

In between planning amazing pie parties like the one I shall regale you with tales of, I am pretty busy as an actor. I’ve been having a boatload of improv shows every
week, but in between all the performing I see the rest of the world, the people with real jobs wondering what the heck I do all day. And when asked on the spot I stammer and can’t quite remember it all because it’s a lot and so I come off as…I dunno. A not-busy person. God forbid. So I’m gonna tell you today’s activities (which now was a week ago). First off, I open up my laptop and email like a madwoman. Then I check the breakdowns to submit myself for roles that if I’m lucky I get called in to audition for. After fielding my email the breakdowns are my first stop. I go back to email and breakdowns a dozen times a day. Then I had an audition. This one was not too far, and it was in the golden hour when traffic is less horrible, so it didn’t take long. But between traffic and depending on how behind the casting office is running, an audition will bite several hours out of your day. Not counting all the prep time for it. After my audition I worked on scripts for another couple of upcoming auditions. What’s my motivation? No, really. What is it? Then I researched agents (I’m trying to find a new one) and wrote the perfect cover letter to send to one particular agent. This took a while. More work on scripts. What are my obstacles? Then I worked on the column I write for Hello Giggles. Then I updated my website with info on upcoming shows I’m doing and who my manager is because it just changed. Then I got in touch with a headshot photographer because I need new shots. Next I need to put the finishing touches on a pilot script I want to enter in a contest. And then I get to have late night coffee or who-am-I-kidding wine with a friend I want to collaborate with on a project. Because in LA your friends and the people you work are often one and the same. Which is both good and bad. Many evenings I’d be headed off to a class or a workshop or a practice or to do a show (after which there may or may not be wine) but tonight I get to skip to the wine.
And that, folks, is how I have “no job”.

And of course, there are the pie parties.

The last one was “Dark Side of the Pie” and took place right after Valentine’s Day as a palate cleanser. I made horchata with black rice, and designed a cocktail using it. I made a dark chocolate tart (recipe to come at a later date). Because I am still trying to perfect a southwest potato pie I made that but used purple potatoes to add some darkness. Guests were instructed to try to where black and red. Not all my friends came through on the attire, but many did bring red wines with delightfully goth labels.

It was pretty swell. Really, I am not sure where I’d be without my friends. Either slightly crazier or saner?

This cocktail had two variations for the party, but my friend Joel brought me a bottle of cinnamon liqueur that I later plan to use to create a third variation. Cinnamon liqueur was probably invented for the purpose of boozifying horchata.

Cocktails from the Dark Side: Amaretto and Chocolate
For horchata (adapted from David Lebovitz’s recipe here)
2/3 cups black rice, ground in the blender
3 cups warm water
1 cinnamon stick
2 cups almond milk (chocolate almond milk for the Kahlua version)
Soak the rice and cinnamon in water for a minimum of eight hours in the fridge. Remove cinnamon. Stick an immersion blender in there and blend more. Strain through a sieve lined with cheesecloth twice. Add sugar and milk. Refrigerate.
For cocktail:
1 oz. black rice horchata
1 oz. rum (light or spiced, take your pick)
3/4 oz. amaretto (or 1/2 oz. Kahlua if you made the horchata with chocolate almond milk)
a few dashes of chocolate chili bitters
cinnamon to garnish
Shake all except the cinnamon up. Strain over one giant cube. Garnish with cinnamon. Sigh in delight. Then sigh with great melodramatic tones. Nowwwwwww you’re doing goth right.

I like to ride my bicicletta

Gearing up for a busy weekend, I am. Two improv shows and a friend in from out of town. Summer is well on its merry way.

It feels like a while since I gave you drinks. But since I want your brains to be equally invigorated, I’m also gonna give you some summer reads.

You probably want to read before imbibing.

I’m in the midst of Gillian Flynn’s “Gone Girl”. It is worth the hype. I can’t stop.

I also was drawn deep into “Wild”, by Cheryl Stayed. Even if you don’t like to hike thou shalt diggeth it. It’s her memoirs of hiking the rather epic Pacific Crest Trail.

Have I told you before of the incredible-ousity of Smithsonian Magazine? Yes, I am a huge dork who adores learning. You get science, history, arts, and more. They shouldn’t hire me to write ads for them because that description was terribly dry. But really, this magazine rocks. And this month’s issue was the food issue so it’s a good time to jump in! And you also get to read about dark matter. The goth’s favorite type of matter.

If you’ve never read “A Tale of Two Cities” it’s time to put down everything else and read my favorite book evah….

Phew, you’ve been schooled. Moving right along.

I give you your summertime drink.
It is pretty. It is lovely. If the Campari hits too hard you can change the amounts of club soda and vino.

If you are hanging with aforementioned smarty goths they will not only love the deep red nature of it, but you’ll score extra points if you use skull and crossbones ice cubes. Woot!

I’m sorry if I’ve been less amusing of late. I’m thinking its summer so you probably have less time to waste online, when you could be out drinking Campari and mind-gobbling great books. So do.

The Bicicletta from Bon Appetit May 2008
2 ounces Campari
1 1/2 ounces dry white wine
1/2 ounce club soda
Lemon slice
Stir Campari and wine. Add ice and club soda. Garnish with the lemon slice. Done and done. And done.

Gloomy Thursday

Last Thursday I awoke to cloudy skies and dour drizzle befitting of the audition for a goth character I had that day. As I applied one more coating of black mascara I channeled the spirit of…ennui.
I think I did okay:

Please excuse that moment of utter vanity.

In the car on my way to the casting office I blasted Skinny Puppy, Bauhaus, and Haujob.

Oddly enough all this darkness is what makes me feel incredibly good. Happy, even. I have good twisted memories associated with goth music. They must be signs of my truly goth nature which lurks beneath. It does not really lurk though. It makes itself known in the form of my mostly black clothing. D’oh.

That night, still happily wallowing in crimson lipstick, I made a cocktail with the gothiest of goth names: Death in the Afternoon.

I have discovered I like absinthe. Danger!

At thanksgiving my fwife gave me some lovely French absinthe to take home. Smart woman.

I have no more pithy mots for y’all.
Although I must point out my stellar abilities to use words like mot and y’all in the same sentence.

Get some absinthe. If you cannot find it substitute Pernod, ouzo or sambuca. Or chew on a mouthful of anise seeds or tarragon. Or eat a handful of black jellybeans for the licorice-ish flavor of absinthe.

Actually, black jellybeans would be the perfect gothic accompaniment to this drink. Awesome.

Both me and the drink.
And you, too for reading my ramblings.

That was a lot more mots than I had planned.

Death in the Afternoon adapted (barely) from The Ultimate Bar Book by Mittie Hellmich
1 oz. absinthe
Champagne
Pour absinthe into the champagne flute. Swirl the flute to coat the insides of the flute with absinthe like melancholy coats your troubled soul. Top with champagne. Contemplate the bubbles as representative of your many woes.
Sigh.

Fit for a princess

I act because I like to be other people for just a little. Or at least get inside their heads. This Saturday I’ll have the terrifically taxing role of a playing a woman at my own birthday party and…she’s into being gluten-free. That part will be quite the stretch for me.
When I was little, my first acting was probably in the make-believe games I’d play. I liked to play royalty. We’ll get back to that.

So I needed to use that citron vodka from all my Cosmos
.
That and this sounded like it could be a manly girl drink, not in name but in hard alcohol ingredients. I do love a good man-girl drink, like the mo-ellen. Oh did I just mention that?
Really guys, I am going to keep trying to get attention for the Mo-Ellen until I see it on a bar menu.

The name of this drink, “Little Princess” I don’t love. I am not a princess.
I’m a queen, always have been.

Back to playing make-believe.

My friend Anne and I used to play with my mom’s dusters when we were quite young. Imaginative sorts that we were we used them like scepters and pretended we were royalty.
Me mum had two dusters, a slightly raggedy feather one and a poofy wool one dyed in orange hues, if memory is not totally failing me.
Now naturally we both wanted the pretty colorful one. Why?
That was the feather queen’s scepter. Total duh!

But I was such a brat. I always insisted on having that one and being feather queen and Anne got the tattered one and was merely the feather princess.

I am surprised we are still friends. Fortunately I got a wee bit more giving as the years wore on.

For instance, years after she moved away she came to visit one summer, and I shared my gothic splendor with her. We were about 15. She had white-blonde hair when she arrived and I put her back on the plane with jet-black hair.

I’m surprised her parents let her still be my friend.

Enough. Here is the drink. It’s tasty, maybe even better than a straight up vodka martini, but the name blows. I’m gonna go chill out with a duster now. On my couch(I.e. throne).

Little Princess from The Bartender’s Companion

1/8 oz. dry vermouth
1 3/4 oz. citron vodka
Lemon twist
Stir it up and garnish with the twist.
Please don’t wear a tiara.

Lurve yourself

Warning. If you are a person who is bitter and hates it when people get serious and talk about shit like self-respect don’t read this entry or you may decide you hate me. I probably would have bypassed the following reading at points in my life. I’m about to get a little self-indulgent here. Fair warning. I promise to get back to sarcasm and self deprecating banter soon. I’ll bring back the dark gothiness too. Patience.

We are making a toast and celebrating today. We’re celebrating me and you. You and me. Good stuff has been happening.

I had decided this year I am dating my career. Taking it out, spending quality time with it, dressing it up. It gets lonely at night sometimes, dating one’s career, since it is always working. It’s not too snuggly. But it always comes home at night-except when it has night shoots that is.

My plan has started paying off.

I got a new manager. I have been booking work. I joined the union. I am being An Actor.

On the non-acting front, I’m a writer now too, y’all! My first review evah, that’s eeeevvvvaaahhhh, got published yesterday here.

And now some vocabulary, courtesy of dictionary.com’s word of the day: Eudemonia 1. Happiness; well-being.
2. Aristotelianism. Happiness as the result of an active life governed by reason.

Eudemonia. It’s what I’m feeling.

I’d made my career my raison d’etre, which is a reason I was governing my life by, not straight up reason itself, but it has led to some degree of happiness. So naturally the next step will be to marry it. I’m gonna propose. Keep you posted on how that works.

In the meantime I took me, my career, and my state of eudemonia out. With a friend.

We went that evening to the nearby Rockwell to celebrate. I love their glowing walls you see behind my glass of rose in the main picture.

So if I can wax even more philosophically I think good things are happening because I had enough respect for myself to make me and my career the number one thing for a while.

You should to. Love yourself. Take care of yourself. It’s good for you and it’s good for the world.

Go out and make a toast and a roar to yourself, you deserve it.

If you want to stay in, however. Here is an Ellen-ified traditional. Cause this ain’t no cooking blog without a freakin’ recipe:
Un-totally-classic Martini, the Ellen way
2 ounces vodka
1/2 ounce dry vermouth
Lime twist
The lime makes it Ellen. Stir that mofo. Sip. Don’t swill. Smile to yourself and think “life is on its way”.

I’m a joiner

Usually I’m not.

I think I moved to LA because I hate sun and everyone told me I was such a New York person.

“You’ll fit in so well there!” they said.

I’m not used to fitting in.

But when it comes to the food blog world, I really just wanna be loved.

Next thing you know I’ll be using mason jars.

But for now I’ll stick with the used vons brand salsa jars I have oodles of.

Also, I needed a quick recipe cause acting is being busy. I was awoken with a text for a goth-y audition and the day started with a black eye-liner bang as I slapped this look together:

I have now seen the microwave muffin a lot of places. It was created by Deb of Smoothie Girl Eats Too and has been made by loads of other food bloggies who I wish were my friends. Fo’ rizzle. Cause they make tasty stuff and are witty and funny and everything I aspire to be if not as a person at least as a food blogger. Hmm.

So I joined in the fun and made some microwave muffins too. And I liked em.
A Lot.

And I asked Deb if I could print my renditions on her recipe and she took the time to write back and say ok and so I love her. Hope that doesn’t creep you out Deb. But you rock. As do your muffins of which I made a chocolate-peanut butter version using Fitnutz which is awsome powdered peanut butter I initially bought to add PB flava to ma smoothies. Ya.
And I made a plain version.
Both I used my free NuNaturals liquid stevia to sweeten because I won both the vanilla and the cocoa flavors and this seemed like a good application for them.
What I’m saying is this recipe is highly adaptable.
Play, cook and do what you like but make sure you give maddddddd props to Deb.

And much like Deb I felt the need to make a couple of versions of this.

Macro because they are big. Micro because you make them with waves of the micro variety.

Protein Micro-Macro Muffin(adapted from Deb’s recipe on Smoothie Girl Eats Too)
2 Tbsp. whole wheat flour(for version 2 use 1 Tbsp. whole wheat flour, 1 Tbsp. FitNutz-its a powdered peanut butter, and one Tbsp. cocoa powder)
3 heaping Tbsp. unsweetened applesauce
2 egg whites(normally I’m all about eating yolks cause they are good for you but the whites will give your muffin epic volume)
1/2 tsp. baking powder
A few drops NuNaturals vanilla stevia(version 2 use NuNaturals cocoa bean extract)
A spoonful of sweetener to your taste(I used Splenda for both varieties)
Spray a large ramekin. In small bowl beat all ingredients like you a a mean kid. Beat em’ up. Add to greased ramekin and microwave on high 2 1/2 to 4 minutes. Know your microwave kids.

Dark days

They aren’t over. Yet. They will be. Good things have happened in January.
Sometimes the best way to get over being down is to just indulge in it. Sulk. Get it out of your system.
I like to do this by indulging my goth-y roots. So, whilst wearing kick-arse stockings and blasting the musical stylings of the true love of my life, Trent Reznor(sorry, Bittman, you’re only my cookbook lover), I will console my angst with an equally dark dessert adult beverage: a chocolate black Russian.
It’s almost worth getting in a bad mood to make this.

What do you do for bad moods? Comment, guys, comment.

Chocolate Black Russian from the Drink Pro Lite App/strong>
1 oz. Kahlua
1/2 oz. vodka
2/3 c. Chocolate ice cream
Blend it. Sip it. Sigh. Apply black lipstick. Sigh again. Bad mood begone!