Cosmania Day One

Before the drinks, a shameless plug for my play:

Now onto business.
If you have something against pink drinks I apologize. If you are a man who will not drink a delicious beverage because it is a “girl drink” then you are a pussy.
Real men wear purple.
Real men drink pink.
Real people drink whatever the hell they feel like.
And sometimes, you just need a pink drink.
I do SO love a Cosmo. I’ve been trying and analyzing different recipes for them. So the Cosmo-off: every day this week I’ll be posting a different Cosmo recipe with an analysis. The last day I will give you my own concoction based on the data.
Incidentally, no I did not do this all in one week. And since I’m not too keen on drinking alone I did not finish them all. And I can’t drink that much.

Please note I used cranberry juice cocktail which is notably sweeter than straight-up juice.

Cosmopolitan from the Joy of Cooking 75th Anniversary edition
1/4 oz. fresh lime juice
1/2 oz. Cointreau(in Joy it is Triple Sec, but I upgraded)
1 oz. cranberry juice cocktail
1 oz. vodka
Shake over ice and strain into a glass.
ANALYSIS:
Color-bubble gum pink
Refreshing factor-moderate
Sweetness-minimal
Balance-way alcohol-y
Cranberrousity-next to non-existent
Rating-B-
Added some more cranberry and lime and it was highly improved.

Not to divulge too much but this was my least favorite of all the recipes which is a shame as Joy rarely fails me. Not that it was a failure, it just did not dominate.

Chopsticks: just one perk of full brain function

One I did not manage to do with my left hand whilst healing my smashed up right arm was eating with chopsticks.

I like to gobble stuff with the sticks. Even things that you don’t need to. There is something elegant about a well-handled chopstick. Sexy, even.

However, whilst my right arm was healing and I had to be left-handed, I was busy sleeping most of my life away when whilst my brain tried repair a synapse or so so I didn’t really have too much time to miss chopsticks.

Now that I am all healed, physically, if not mentally(questionable whether that part I me was functioning pre-accident) I decided I should have more legit reasons to break out the sticks. And get choppy.

So I made this stir-fry.

Stir-fried Water Chestnuts(adapted from The Joy of Cooking,2006 version)
1 8 oz. can sliced water chestnuts, drained and rinsed
1 1/2 T. Soy sauce
1 Tsp. minced garlic
1 tsp. minced ginger
1/2 tsp. splenda
1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
1 jarred roasted red bell pepper, sliced
6 oz. trimmed snow peas
Combine soy sauce, garlic, ginger, Splenda and pepper flakes in a little bowl.
Spray a skillet and heat over medium-high. Add red bell peppers, stir and fry(stir-fry!) a minute, add snow peas and stir-fry a couple more minutes, til crisp but tender. Add chestnuts stir-fry another minute or so until they’re all tender, like my soul. Add soy sauce mixture and cook til veggies are coated and sauce is reduced a bit, a couple more minutes. Get yer chopsticks.

And for your Madame?

Apparently women have eggs.
Yeah we do.
That’s what we are good for. That and housecleaning.

I don’t plan on using my womanly eggs, but I do like to have my way with those of the chicken variety(provided they are the cruelty-free type and yes I want picture-proof that those are happy chicks).

Madame Croque apparently felt similarly, for she took her hubby, Monsieur Croque’s favorite sandwich and doctored it up for herself with an egg.

Eggs make most things better, and the boring old’ Croque Monsieur was in desperate need of a tune-up.

Madame Croque knew what she was doing! Leave it to the woman to fix it.

Croque Madame(adapted ever so slightly from the Joy of Cooking)
2 pieces of whole wheat bread
Butter
Dijon mustard
Vegetarian “ham”
Swiss cheese
Egg
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Preheat your broiler. Spread one slice of bread with butter and Dijon, add veg ham, then second slice of bread. Put in broiler just a little, it will starting to get toasty fast so watch it. Top with cheese and broil a bit more. And a bit I mean don’t walk away from that oven. This is not the time to tweet what you are making. Cut a hole in top slice of bread, crack an egg into it and broil a minute or so longer.
If, like me, you see your bread browning at an alarming rate and the egg is nowhere near done, remove from oven and microwave until done. Who were we before Dr. Percy Spencer? A bunch of bungling fools with burned bread, that’s who.
Grind on the salt and pepper.
Nifty.
Tweet this:

Eggs in a nest

Well, duh, that’s way they are supposed to be.
But what if the eggs are the nest? Crazy, dude.
Do it.

I think maybe I spread the egg whites a bit thin on the bottom. Unexpectedly the yolk formed a layer at the bottom of the nest. I accidentally broke the yolk before depositing it in its nest so that probably played a part in this too.
But if you are into striped food(I am!)this is actually pretty nifty:

That was the nest, bisected.

Eggs in a Nest(from the 1964 version of the Joy of Cooking by Irma S. Rombauer andarion Rombauer Becker)
Heat oven to 350. Beat egg white til good and stiff. Like I like my drinks.
That’s a lie. About the drinks. Because I’m a total lightweight.
But the egg whites, yes. Beat em’.
Pile in a sprayed dish, make a hole for the yolk and add it in, bake until set, ten-ish minutes. Season to your taste with freshly ground sea salt and pepper.