shake it, get down, and misinterpretation. and a shake.

For once I did not try to change it. This easily alterable recipe. I went with the flow. It worked REALLY well. What do you know?

Which is not to say I don’t have ideas. Ideas which may happen with the leftover recipe components. But I gave this base, depraved, vile-in-spirit recipe a whirl, and it held up. Really blimey well. So well I wanted it the next night. Then again I find that things involving sugar and alcohol usually hold up solidly in the face of adversity.
Who does not love a shake that can be consumed with a spoon therefore rendering the cup unserviceable when a bowl is nearby?

I’m trying to flow more, generally. Not sweat “the small stuff”. Just do it. Whatever it is. Which changes a lot although pretty soon a brainchild of mine that has been festering in my noggin’ for over a year may just spring forth as vibrantly as Athena from Zeus’ head, and nearly as wise. Less angry.

That was cryptic. More details when it actually has happened.

This recipe makes a boatload of cubes of the recipe base, which are then blended in batches with Kahlua. I know, I know, it sounds so gauche. Gauche comes in large quantities though. So I have leftover cubes of the base to try some variations that I have in mind. Perhaps amaretto would be nice. Or adding in some cinnamon. I’m gonna play with the leftover cubes. However! That is not because I wasn’t fully sated with the recipe just exactly as Bon Appetit told me to make it. Well-what BA told me for the base of the drink anyway. I did not have the stuff for the whipped cream recipe, so I didn’t do that. I suppose that means I was still controlling things, but I just don’t think anything can replace the joy of jetting oodles of Reddi-wip (which I just now realized was “wip”, not “whip”) on top of the shake and into my mouth.

I know, you may be tempted to “make it better” and use something instead of my chosen Reddi-whip. But how about trusting me, the one you trust and tolerate, to guide you? This gauche-ness is good. for once I did not try to change it. I went with the flow. It worked. What do you know?

Kahlua Shake adapted (read, cut in half)from Bon Appetit
6 Tbsp. sugar
2 3/4 tsp. instant espresso powder
2 tsp. cocoa powder
pinch salt
1/2 plus 3/4 cup H2O
1 cup half and half
6 Tbsp. Kahlua (2 per drink)
Whisk sugar, espresso powder, cocoa and salt in a small saucepan. Slowly whisk in 1/2 cup of the water. Place over medium-high heat, then whisk and heat until the sugar dissolves and it starts to boil. Take off the heat and add remaining water and the half and half. Pour into something with a spout. Like a pitcher or a measuring cup. Pour into ice cube trays. I got 28 cubes. Freeze.
However many cubes you end up with, take 1/3 of them (math!), put in a blender (despite my love of immersion blenders, this still makes me long for a Vita-mix), and add 2 Tbsp. Kahlua and blend, blendy blend. Top with whipped cream. Delight. Spoon. Straw? Nah. Spoon.

Pie parties, horchata cocktails, and what the hell am I doing?

Goth-chata

Firstly, I devised the horchata cocktail. Me. Moi. Then literally a few weeks after I came up with it the recipe I’m going to share, a new trendy restaurant called Gracias Madre opened and everyone is talking about their horchata cocktail. But mine is better. And…goth-er. Which is to say I made my own horchata OUT OF BLACK RICE.

I devised the horchata cocktail for a pie party. Details to follow the following brain hemorrhage:

In between planning amazing pie parties like the one I shall regale you with tales of, I am pretty busy as an actor. I’ve been having a boatload of improv shows every
week, but in between all the performing I see the rest of the world, the people with real jobs wondering what the heck I do all day. And when asked on the spot I stammer and can’t quite remember it all because it’s a lot and so I come off as…I dunno. A not-busy person. God forbid. So I’m gonna tell you today’s activities (which now was a week ago). First off, I open up my laptop and email like a madwoman. Then I check the breakdowns to submit myself for roles that if I’m lucky I get called in to audition for. After fielding my email the breakdowns are my first stop. I go back to email and breakdowns a dozen times a day. Then I had an audition. This one was not too far, and it was in the golden hour when traffic is less horrible, so it didn’t take long. But between traffic and depending on how behind the casting office is running, an audition will bite several hours out of your day. Not counting all the prep time for it. After my audition I worked on scripts for another couple of upcoming auditions. What’s my motivation? No, really. What is it? Then I researched agents (I’m trying to find a new one) and wrote the perfect cover letter to send to one particular agent. This took a while. More work on scripts. What are my obstacles? Then I worked on the column I write for Hello Giggles. Then I updated my website with info on upcoming shows I’m doing and who my manager is because it just changed. Then I got in touch with a headshot photographer because I need new shots. Next I need to put the finishing touches on a pilot script I want to enter in a contest. And then I get to have late night coffee or who-am-I-kidding wine with a friend I want to collaborate with on a project. Because in LA your friends and the people you work are often one and the same. Which is both good and bad. Many evenings I’d be headed off to a class or a workshop or a practice or to do a show (after which there may or may not be wine) but tonight I get to skip to the wine.
And that, folks, is how I have “no job”.

And of course, there are the pie parties.

The last one was “Dark Side of the Pie” and took place right after Valentine’s Day as a palate cleanser. I made horchata with black rice, and designed a cocktail using it. I made a dark chocolate tart (recipe to come at a later date). Because I am still trying to perfect a southwest potato pie I made that but used purple potatoes to add some darkness. Guests were instructed to try to where black and red. Not all my friends came through on the attire, but many did bring red wines with delightfully goth labels.

It was pretty swell. Really, I am not sure where I’d be without my friends. Either slightly crazier or saner?

This cocktail had two variations for the party, but my friend Joel brought me a bottle of cinnamon liqueur that I later plan to use to create a third variation. Cinnamon liqueur was probably invented for the purpose of boozifying horchata.

Cocktails from the Dark Side: Amaretto and Chocolate
For horchata (adapted from David Lebovitz’s recipe here)
2/3 cups black rice, ground in the blender
3 cups warm water
1 cinnamon stick
2 cups almond milk (chocolate almond milk for the Kahlua version)
Soak the rice and cinnamon in water for a minimum of eight hours in the fridge. Remove cinnamon. Stick an immersion blender in there and blend more. Strain through a sieve lined with cheesecloth twice. Add sugar and milk. Refrigerate.
For cocktail:
1 oz. black rice horchata
1 oz. rum (light or spiced, take your pick)
3/4 oz. amaretto (or 1/2 oz. Kahlua if you made the horchata with chocolate almond milk)
a few dashes of chocolate chili bitters
cinnamon to garnish
Shake all except the cinnamon up. Strain over one giant cube. Garnish with cinnamon. Sigh in delight. Then sigh with great melodramatic tones. Nowwwwwww you’re doing goth right.

Wake em upper

Firstly, my latest review for Blackboard Eats was published. Read about some stellar pizza pie here.

Lest you not know what to do with leftover coke from your Kalimotxo, I give you the Colorado bulldog.

The notion of Coke and dairy is not so novel. There is the venerable ice cream float.

Then there is the time I saw a man pour himself a diet coke and add a splash of skim.
I said “ew”.
He said “taste”
And so I did. Coke float. In a diet way. Which is not what I need right now.

So Colorado Bulldog it is. I know not the origins of the name and heat has rendered me unable to think clearly enough to google.

Incidentally, in my family we called coke wake-em-upper, but only when enjoyed in the afternoon as a post-nap beverage.
Preferably with a chocolate chip cookie from the best recipe.

Finally, if you are in Colorado and have a bulldog please tell me about it in the comments, or heck, email me a picture if you like, I will try to see if there is any resemblance to the beverage… scrumptiousgruel.ellen@gmail.com

Colorado Bulldog, just barely adapted from the Bartender’s Companion by Mittie Hellmich
Ice
1 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. Kahlua
1 oz. half n half
Coke
Fill the glass you want to use with ice. Pour that ice as well as the vodka, Kahlua and half n half into a shake and shake.
Pour that, ice and all back into the cup and top it up with coke.

Be prepared

Or is that a Boy Scout saying?

Cause these are Girl drinks.

I never joined any sort of Scouts, even the delectable sounding Brownies.

Because despite what I previously said in the title of an earlier entry, I’m not a joiner. Particularly if joining involved wearing a uniform.

Either way I am preparing you for a week and a half of no new gruel recipes by leaving you not one but two recipes to console yourself. I will be back a week from Monday with….WAFFLE WEEK! I’ll be waffling all sorts of non-waffle items so brace yourselves.

So, this week’s recipes.
These are bad, bad cookies.

Actually they are not cookies, but they are called Girl Scouts and they are bad.

As in naughty.

As in adult.

Downright dirty.

Well one is, the other one is the other is frozen.

Scout-y nonetheless.

Scouts spend their time perfecting Mrs. Robinson-style shots of themselves in mirrors while wearing pleather pants and sipping alcoholic shakes, right?

I outta start my own urban scout group. Nature hikes in Griffith at midnight.

Drink one:
Frozen Girl Scout(adapted from the 8500+ Drink and Cocktail recipes Free app)
Splash if chocolate almond milk(more it less depending on preferred thickness)
1 1/2 oz. green creme de menthe
1 c. Chocolate ice cream
Blendy blend blend. Sip and prepare thyself for…well in my case that Sunday night, Monday. Which I did by discarding most of the drink because although this drink was second to heaven I don’t drink alone and Monday was a Dippity doodah multiple audition day. But next time I have guests I will be recreating it again cause it was AMAZING.

As for the dirty gal. The Dirty Girl Scout was particularly dirty when I shaking it and the top flew off my shaker.

When a Scout’s top flies off…

Good thing it was tasty. Strong hit of the Kahlua and Bailey’s. I think the creme de menthe provides mainly color because it did nit taste terribly mint-y so don’t shy away if you are not into mint.

It matched one of my kitchen walls. Good thing when when the top came off. And it sprayed my kitchen.

Ew.

Sorry, not you.

That was me responding to the innuendos in my mind.

FYI dictionary dot com says the plural of innuendo can be spelled with or without an e.

There, my mind is cleansed.

Dirty Girl Scout(from the iPhone Mixology App)
1 oz. Bailey’s Irish Cream
1 tsp. Green Creme de Menthe
1 oz. Kahlua
1 oz. Vodka
Shake over ice and strain. The recipe says to garnish with an orange slice but I was not so very prepared for that…

Dark days

They aren’t over. Yet. They will be. Good things have happened in January.
Sometimes the best way to get over being down is to just indulge in it. Sulk. Get it out of your system.
I like to do this by indulging my goth-y roots. So, whilst wearing kick-arse stockings and blasting the musical stylings of the true love of my life, Trent Reznor(sorry, Bittman, you’re only my cookbook lover), I will console my angst with an equally dark dessert adult beverage: a chocolate black Russian.
It’s almost worth getting in a bad mood to make this.

What do you do for bad moods? Comment, guys, comment.

Chocolate Black Russian from the Drink Pro Lite App/strong>
1 oz. Kahlua
1/2 oz. vodka
2/3 c. Chocolate ice cream
Blend it. Sip it. Sigh. Apply black lipstick. Sigh again. Bad mood begone!

Try it, you might like it

Ever had a Black Russian? If you are a new vegan who misses White Russians, this one is for you seeing as Barnivore says Kahlua and certain brands of vodka are totally vegan.

On to important things, like me and my mood moody mood moods these days.

I should not complain. Really. In general I’m a spoiled rotten girl living the dream in sunny LA.

But for various reasons I’ve been particularly down this week.

What to do when one’s soul is dark?

Besides blasting Nine Inch Nails?
That’s a given.

And besides glaring while pouting like I’m doing for this pic:

I call this Glouting. It’s the goth cousin of smize-ing.

You make an equally dark adult beverage, that’s what.
And if the Joy the Baker Podcast is to be believed we should drink said cocktail in the shower.

Hopefully not at the same time as using baking soda to wash one’s hair. That could get dicey.

Extra credit from the dark underlords of gothness for using skull and crossbone ice cubes.

What do you eat or drink when bummed out?
Black Russian(from The Bar Book by Mittie Hellmich)
1 1/2 oz. vodka
3/4 oz. Kahlua
Lemon twist
Shake ingredients vigorously with ice. Strain into ice filled glass. Twist lemon peel over the top and drop in.
Pump up the NIN and relish the gloom.

A Toast To a Blog Birthday

Happy Birthday Scrumptious Gruel! One year ago you started. I wanted to make you a cake. I did.
But my life has exploded in the happy doing work-that-I-love type of busy, so I made you a drink instead. Please forgive me. But I have to go off and play a ballerina in search of her missing leg, which was ripped from her by an evil doctor. The film is titled “Frankendancer”. Good clean fun. Actually it will be bloody fun.
I need a lot of energy to be playing a vengeance-filled one-legger hoofer.
So I went for an Espresso Martini.
Don’t worry. I drank this at night, at home. Not before heading off to the shoot. I’m thinking showing up drunk on set tipsy would not be a brilliant move on my part.
Actually, I didn’t even finish it myself. Too tired. anyway, happy birthday blog!
Espresso Martini(adapted from The Bar Book by Mittie Hellmich)
1 0z. vodka (enjoying the Sobieski)
1/2 oz. homemade vanilla extract(if it’s not homemade use 1 1/2 oz. vanilla vodka and omit plain vodka)
1/2 oz. strong coffee
1/2 oz. Kahlua
Stir all over ice. Strain into glass and garnish with espresso beans.

Next year, cake.

What is your favorite birthday treat?

P.S.

I Love You.
Wait, not you! Unless you are in my family or your name is Eleanor then I love you with all my heart.
But if you are not I’m sure you are a very nice person who I could potentially love. This is getting weird.
P. S. I Love You was the name of this DELICIOUS drink. So good I didn’t get a pic before it was gone. This was from the Bartender’s Companion and it contains the three liqueurs I adore above all others. Make it. Drink it. Fall in love.
P.S. I Love You(adapted from Bartender’s Companion)
Fill the glass you are going to use with ice. Dump this ice into a shaker and add:
1/2 oz. Bailey’s
1/2 oz. Amaretto
1/2 oz. Kahlua
1/2 oz. Rum(I used clear Bacardi)
Shake, shake shake!
Pour it, ice and all back into the cup and top off with half and half. I added a pretty healthy amount. Yummmmm. Taste the love.