Tag Archives: Kirbie’s Cravings

Second Annual Un-Pizza Week Day Six: hey cupcake!

2 Feb

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I may be onstage as you read this!
Why are you not at the theatre laughing at me?
If I am funny in a forest and you are not there to laugh at me, should I laugh at myself?
What qualifies a cupcake as a cupcake as opposed to a muffin?

I think deep thoughts during pilot season.

I think probably too much about cake.

I tend to think there are three pillars of cupcake-ry. Not counting shape.
Which a lot of folks do.
Saying that anything in a small, cylindrical shape qualifies as a cupcake explains things like “lasagna cupcakes” and the recipe I made for called Pizza Cupcakes.

If I ran things, these wouldn’t be a pizza cupcake because I have exacting cupcake requirements.
First off, there is flavor. A proper cupcake should be sweet.
But sweetness is not enough, or many muffins would be experiencing crises of identity.

Secondly, there must be proper texture. A cupcake must be a bit fluffier than the average muffin. I think I actually prefer muffin texture. Dense chewiness is my preference.

Thirdly, there must be a frosting. Hopefully more than there is cake, in my opinion unless it is that vapid whipped frosting that is oh so bland. Give me dense buttercream or ganache or give me a muffin.

I don’t really love cupcakes, even ones that meet my criteria. I would much, much rather have a big honkin’ slab of cake on a plate, with a fork that I can use to dissect it as I see fit. Much as I prefer ice cream in a dish to in a cone.
Plus, a slice of cake usually has a higher frosting to cake ratio.

So why on earth would I, cupcake adversary and defender of sliced cake, make these?

Because they meet none of MY cupcake criteria.

But they are delightful as their own thing. In this recipe a “pizza cupcake” is a small, textured, savory loaf topped with cheese and veggie pepperoni.

I found these so-called cupcakes here.

I reduced this recipe to make only a few and healthed it up a bit, baby…because if it is not dessert (for mental health) it may as well be healthy for…healthy health.

Un-pizza Un-Cupcake adapted from Kirbie’s Cravings

6 Tbsp. flour
2 Tbsp. wheat bran
2 tsp. sugar or stevia
1 tsp. baking powder
2 Tbsp. applesauce
4 tsp. beaten egg
2 Tbsp. almond milk
Pinch or two salt
2 oz. grated Swiss cheese, grated (yes, I know mozzarella would be more pizza-ish)
Soy pepperonis, chopped
Heat yer oven to 400 blistering degrees Fahrenheit and spray 4 muffin cups.
Whisk together flour, bran, baking powder, sugar or stevia, and salt. Whisk in applesauce, egg, and milk until very well blended. Blend in 1 oz. cheese. Bake about 10-12 minutes. Top with remaining cheese and pepperonis. Bake several more minutes. Until it seems done. Use your senses. Your accuracy is none of my business.
Have a slice of cake as dessert.

Second Annual Un-Pizza Week Day Five: Puff the magic pizza

1 Feb

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ACTING PSA!
My improv 401 class at The Upright Citizens Brigade (UCB) is performing this Saturday at 5:30. Student show info is here. If you come and laugh, we will be even funnier than we already were. So do that if you like.
I’d like it. Smiley face.

Now for the gruel!
Totes adorbs pizza puffs! For realz!
Like, gag me with a spoon!
No please don’t, ignore that outburst it meant nothing.
There is quite a theme of cuteness going on this week.

Please do make these cute lil’ bundles of joy. I suggest that you make them like I did and call them pizza sliders. How 2008.
But I was rather pleased with my idea to not mix soy pepperoni in and instead cut a notch in the puff’s side and slide a piece in. Slide it in the slider.Too damned cute:

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These “Pizza Puffs did indeed puff. I had my suspicions they would be tough because the recipe required mixing the batter until smooth. Normally when making quick breads you don’t do that in order to avoid gluten over-development. But no, these were light and delightful and…yes, cute.

I think they might not have been quite as delightful if it were not for the seasoning sprinkled atop them. They certainly would have been less pizza-y.

It is almost the weekend, y’all. So go ahead and make yourself these sliders, serve em’ with some marinara to dip, crack open an ice cold beverage and get yer weekend on now.

Pizza Sliders adapted from this recipe by Kirbie’s Cravings
For the puffs:
3/4 cups flour
3/4 tsp. baking powder
3/4 cup almond milk
1 egg
1 cup shredded cheese (I used Swiss)
Italian seasoning (I made my own blend of basil, oregano, freshly ground black pepper, and sea salt)
To Serve Them:
vegan pepperoni
marinara sauce
Preheat the heat monster (your oven!) to 400 degrees. Beat the flour, baking powder, almond milk, and egg until the batter is smooth as a playa’s moves. Playa as in player. Not the beach. Although sand can be pretty smooth too. Stir in the cheese. Grease miniature muffin cups or line them and grease the liners. Fill them about two-thirds full. Sprinkle with the Italian seasoning. Bake about 15 minutes and serve with the pepperoni and marinara. Adorbs. Just saccherine sweet adorbs.