Great expectations: martinify

It’s all about what you expect. If you anticipate one thing, and you get something different, that new thing might transcend what was expected. Or, no matter how wonderful it is, it is rejected as not good. An unwelcome surprise.

Life can bring unexpected good. In the last week I nabbed a small part in a short film, got to do improv at Second City Hollywood, and got the job of writing a wee little column for the popular Hello Giggles. I’ll be yakking about books and food over there. These unexpected, un-planned for happenings are the type of thing that renew my faith in life. You never know what may come. Box of chocolates. Etc.

HOWEVER! How about a harrowing tale of roughing it in LA?

Sometimes a girl just wants a nice pink cosmo.
I was in that sort of mood and ordered one at the Standard. The bartender handed me a clear drink. He informed me, with a twinkle in his eye, that somehow managed to be both twinkly and condescending, that they make their cosmos with white cranberry juice.

I guess the twinkle was for their oh-so-clever twist and the condescension was for…the fact that I wanted a Cosmo.

Half the joy in a Cosmo is the color. I swear they taste different when they look different.

If I expected and wanted a clear drink maybe I’d have loved their cheeky originality.

But no. The horror. The horror!

If you have the guts to order an old chestnut like a Cosmo you should be rewarded with a proper Cosmo.

I was also once given a clear chocolate martini and felt terribly disappointed. HOWEVER! At home, I once decided to make clear chocolate martini. It was A Choice. My nerves were steeled for what would follow. I wasn’t sure. Would I love it, would I hate it?

Would it make my eyes twinkle?

Well, I was prepared for a clear drink, and I liked it. Not sure about the twinkle factor.

Clear Chocolate Martini (from The Bar Book by Mittie Hellmich)

1 1/2 oz. vanilla vodka
1/2 oz. clear creme de cacao
Shake with ice. Strain into glass. Contemplate the chocolate factor. Decide to eat some dark chocolate, just in case.

Cosmania Day Three

No entertaining videos for you today, but if you missed yesterday’s Girl Drink Drunk bit from Kids in the Hall, or Monday’s trailer for my play, well then, click those links and get giggling.
No nevermind, please don’t giggle.
I don’t like the word giggle. No that’s not right. The word is fine, but I would hate my laugh to be described as “giggling”, it just seems so…obnoxious. Like laughing in a bratty way.
C’est tout.
Booze:
Cranberry-esque Cosmopolitan from The Bar Book by Mittie Hellmich
2 oz. citron vodka
3/4 oz. Cointreau
1 oz. cranberry juice cocktail(I reiterate that I used the cocktail, t’would probably be less sweet without)
1 oz. fresh lime juice
Lemon twist
Shake all but lemon twist with ice, garnish with lemon twist.
ANALYSIS
Color-Snapple-esque?
Refreshing factor-not terribly
Sweetness-syrup-y finish
Balance-despite having more vodka, not terribly alcohol-y
Cran-factor- moderate
Rating B+

Probably the larger proportion of cranberry juice cocktail made it sweeter. Or perhaps having less Cointreau makes it less sweet since it lacks the bitter orange bite? I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve actually tasted it straight up. Hmm. Things to do.