Pancakes: the right recipe to launch FLAT

Before we dig into the gruel, I have an announcement: I started a new blog, y’all.
FLAT ACTRESS. Accessible hereThat’s right. I am flat and I think it’s super. I have a play called FLAT that I’ve performed a fair amount both here in LA and back in my hometown and I am currently writing an episodic spun-off from the play.
Not sure how often I’ll be posting on FLAT but if you are small and proud, a lover of small breasts, or just flat-supportive, please join me over at FLAT ACTRESS.
And now, appropos of my chest, I shall talk about pancakes, which is an acceptable term for small breasts because pancakes are delicious and my breasts are also good with maple syrup.

If you like the thick, fluffy pancakes, these are for you. I grew up with my dad’s denser, flatter(true story) pancakes, and I find I prefer those. But I enjoyed these.
Solid recipe. Mr. Bittman rarely disappoints.

Light and Fluffy Pancakes(reduced and just a tad altered from Mark Bittman’s How to Cook Everything Vegetarian)
1 egg
1/4 c. Almond milk
2 Tbsp. whole wheat flour
2 Tbsp. all-purpose flout
Dash salt
3/4 tsp. sweetener(I used Splenda)
1/2 tsp. baking powder
Separate egg. Beat eggs and milk. Mix flour, salt, sweetener and baking powder in another. In yet a third use clean beaters to beat that egg white until fairly stiff. Stir together yolk/milk mix with dry ingredients then fold in the whites. You’ll see some streaks if white in there, like they are not fully blended and that is ok. Heat a skillet to medium-low, spray with a nonstick spray which may or may not answer to a three-letter woman’s name, and cook yer cakes!

Waffle Week Day 3: my normal eats all in one waffle. or not. fail.

Things I consume on an almost daily basis:
oatmeal
cottage cheese
protein powder
cinnamon
eggs
Also in the mix:
vanilla extract
So what would my favorite work-a-day foods taste like blended and cooked on a waffle iron?
I couldn’t tell you:

I am sure Janetha, writer of the lovely blog Meals and Moves from which this recipe came, could.
I was all ready to dig these Protein Waffles and I am blaming failure on the fact that when I made this I was but a fledgling waffle-woman. However!

Wise wise Janetha of the rock-hard abs said I could make it into pancakes instead.
So I did. With the remainder of the half-recipe of batter I’d made. Then I decided to get cocky and flip the first pancake. More fail.
That fail was totally my fault. So I did not take a picture.
Trying not to dwell on my shortcomings.
Finally I managed one pancake:

Pretty much equal parts oats, protein powder, cottage cheese and egg whites with flavorings added.

Perhaps too much of a good thing just overwhelmed my waffle maker.

Perhaps my waffle maker is acting up because it wants a name. It just wants to be loved too. I will have to dwell on this.

On to what we should all really care about: taste.
Seeing as I love all these ingredients, the fact that it tasted delectable makes sense.
Ah, logic.
If I continue to follow logic I wouldn’t name my iron. I’d buy a new waffle iron-I’m pretty sure the reason I’ve been having sticky issues is simply that it is really, really old.

Do tell me, o blog readers: have you named any household appliances?

Pizza Pancake: Un-pizza Day 3

I love pancakes. But I tend to think of them as sweet and not savory.
Nevertheless.
This recipe for pizza pancakes fit my pizza theme.
Moreover.
It looked awesome.
All the same.
I knew I must make it.
It is vegan, until, like me, you add cheese. Unless it is faux cheese. I made one with melted mozzarella on top and one with a side of cottage cheese. I would be more likely to consider vegan-ism if there were a faux cottage cheese.

I’m not sure these would quell any major pizza craving.
Also I’d say this is a single serving. It makes four small cakes.

What are your favorite vegan substitutes? Do you know if anyone makes a vegan cottage cheese?

Pizza Pancakes(adapted just a tad from Heather Eats Almond Butter)
1/2 c. old-fashioned oats
1/2 c. H2O
2 Tbsp. ground flaxseed
1 Tbsp. tomato paste
1/2 tsp. dried oregano
1/2 dash dried marjaram
1/2 tsp. dried basil
1/2 tsp. dried parsley
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. onion powder
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
Freshly ground salt and pepper
Grind oats to a flour in food processor. Combine all ingredients and allow to sit 10-15 minutes to thicken. Heat up a pan or griddle over low heat. Stir batter again, spray pan with non-stick element of your choosing and cook. Doctor them up as you see fit.

No time, no thyme

Ok, this week I really had no business trying to find time and concentration to follow recipes and/or blog but I did:) This time around, the variation on Bittman’s Vegetable Pancakes. From How to Cook Everything Vegetarian, mais oui(can you tell I am studying French? another thing I shouldn’t have time for).
Anywho. CSA gave me beets, and the recipe had a variation which called for using beets for the 2 cups of shredded veggies, and you were also supposed to add time. I mean thyme. But added time would have been helpful too. I was rushing, trying to return phonecalls and cook simultaneously. D’oh! No time for the thyme. But they still tasted nummy. Oh, and I substituted whole wheat for regular flour. And melted Smart Balance for melted butter. So essentially, 2 cups of shredded beets, 1/2 of an onion, grated, one cup of whole wheat flour, some S & P, an egg, and milk to make a thick batter. Then 2 tbsp. of melted smart balance. Mix it up and cook on a griddle! Nutritious and delicious. And gorgeous!