Tag Archives: pizza

Second Annual Un-Pizza Week Day Six: hey cupcake!

2 Feb

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I may be onstage as you read this!
Why are you not at the theatre laughing at me?
If I am funny in a forest and you are not there to laugh at me, should I laugh at myself?
What qualifies a cupcake as a cupcake as opposed to a muffin?

I think deep thoughts during pilot season.

I think probably too much about cake.

I tend to think there are three pillars of cupcake-ry. Not counting shape.
Which a lot of folks do.
Saying that anything in a small, cylindrical shape qualifies as a cupcake explains things like “lasagna cupcakes” and the recipe I made for called Pizza Cupcakes.

If I ran things, these wouldn’t be a pizza cupcake because I have exacting cupcake requirements.
First off, there is flavor. A proper cupcake should be sweet.
But sweetness is not enough, or many muffins would be experiencing crises of identity.

Secondly, there must be proper texture. A cupcake must be a bit fluffier than the average muffin. I think I actually prefer muffin texture. Dense chewiness is my preference.

Thirdly, there must be a frosting. Hopefully more than there is cake, in my opinion unless it is that vapid whipped frosting that is oh so bland. Give me dense buttercream or ganache or give me a muffin.

I don’t really love cupcakes, even ones that meet my criteria. I would much, much rather have a big honkin’ slab of cake on a plate, with a fork that I can use to dissect it as I see fit. Much as I prefer ice cream in a dish to in a cone.
Plus, a slice of cake usually has a higher frosting to cake ratio.

So why on earth would I, cupcake adversary and defender of sliced cake, make these?

Because they meet none of MY cupcake criteria.

But they are delightful as their own thing. In this recipe a “pizza cupcake” is a small, textured, savory loaf topped with cheese and veggie pepperoni.

I found these so-called cupcakes here.

I reduced this recipe to make only a few and healthed it up a bit, baby…because if it is not dessert (for mental health) it may as well be healthy for…healthy health.

Un-pizza Un-Cupcake adapted from Kirbie’s Cravings

6 Tbsp. flour
2 Tbsp. wheat bran
2 tsp. sugar or stevia
1 tsp. baking powder
2 Tbsp. applesauce
4 tsp. beaten egg
2 Tbsp. almond milk
Pinch or two salt
2 oz. grated Swiss cheese, grated (yes, I know mozzarella would be more pizza-ish)
Soy pepperonis, chopped
Heat yer oven to 400 blistering degrees Fahrenheit and spray 4 muffin cups.
Whisk together flour, bran, baking powder, sugar or stevia, and salt. Whisk in applesauce, egg, and milk until very well blended. Blend in 1 oz. cheese. Bake about 10-12 minutes. Top with remaining cheese and pepperonis. Bake several more minutes. Until it seems done. Use your senses. Your accuracy is none of my business.
Have a slice of cake as dessert.

Second Annual Un-Pizza Week Day Five: Puff the magic pizza

1 Feb

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ACTING PSA!
My improv 401 class at The Upright Citizens Brigade (UCB) is performing this Saturday at 5:30. Student show info is here. If you come and laugh, we will be even funnier than we already were. So do that if you like.
I’d like it. Smiley face.

Now for the gruel!
Totes adorbs pizza puffs! For realz!
Like, gag me with a spoon!
No please don’t, ignore that outburst it meant nothing.
There is quite a theme of cuteness going on this week.

Please do make these cute lil’ bundles of joy. I suggest that you make them like I did and call them pizza sliders. How 2008.
But I was rather pleased with my idea to not mix soy pepperoni in and instead cut a notch in the puff’s side and slide a piece in. Slide it in the slider.Too damned cute:

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These “Pizza Puffs did indeed puff. I had my suspicions they would be tough because the recipe required mixing the batter until smooth. Normally when making quick breads you don’t do that in order to avoid gluten over-development. But no, these were light and delightful and…yes, cute.

I think they might not have been quite as delightful if it were not for the seasoning sprinkled atop them. They certainly would have been less pizza-y.

It is almost the weekend, y’all. So go ahead and make yourself these sliders, serve em’ with some marinara to dip, crack open an ice cold beverage and get yer weekend on now.

Pizza Sliders adapted from this recipe by Kirbie’s Cravings
For the puffs:
3/4 cups flour
3/4 tsp. baking powder
3/4 cup almond milk
1 egg
1 cup shredded cheese (I used Swiss)
Italian seasoning (I made my own blend of basil, oregano, freshly ground black pepper, and sea salt)
To Serve Them:
vegan pepperoni
marinara sauce
Preheat the heat monster (your oven!) to 400 degrees. Beat the flour, baking powder, almond milk, and egg until the batter is smooth as a playa’s moves. Playa as in player. Not the beach. Although sand can be pretty smooth too. Stir in the cheese. Grease miniature muffin cups or line them and grease the liners. Fill them about two-thirds full. Sprinkle with the Italian seasoning. Bake about 15 minutes and serve with the pepperoni and marinara. Adorbs. Just saccherine sweet adorbs.

Second Annual Un-Pizza Week Day One: Oatmeal pizza

28 Jan

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Oddly enough the idea of pizza oatmeal seems gross, but oatmeal pizza works for me.
And OM bloody G that’s friggin’ cute:

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I have explained un-pizza week before here. It is pizza flavors in unusual formats. Some people do different ingredients in pizza format, but I think this is a tad silly. I’ve used the example of re-fried beans and cheese on a tortilla. This is not Mexican Pizza. It’s a bloody tostada, foo.

This oatmeal pizza is almost a normal pizza but the different formatting involves cooking the crust in a skillet. This almost-a-pizza is to ease you into un-pizza week.
It will get more interesting, I promise.

I’m really not endorsing anything here. But the recipe did call for Fiber One. And deep in my heart I’m a corporate whore who would wouldn’t mind getting some doodads for endorsing a product. But only if I truly like it, and I do have an odd love of bran cereals of all types: corn bran, bran flakes…my insides like these too but let us not dwell upon that.

Let’s just eat some un-pizza.

Oatmeal Pizza (Adapted just a tad from this recipe on Hungry Girl)

1/4 c. Fiber One
1/4 c. Oatmeal
1 egg, beaten
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 c. Pasta sauce (I used one with roasted onion and garlic-if your sauce lacks pizza-esque flavors add some oregano and basil)
1/4 c. Shredded reduced-fat Swiss cheese (Use mozzerella for more authentic pizza taste, I just love Swiss)
Heat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.
Grind up the oats and Fiber One until they are of breadcrumb consistency. Mix in egg and garlic powder.
Spray a pan with something nonstick and heat over medium, then add mixture, spread as thin or thick as you like your crust to be. Mine was about 4.5 inches across. Though my dream crust is about 4.5 inches high. Raise heat to medium-high and when the bottom is browned, flip that sucker. Carefully. When the other side is brown put it on an oven safe surface of some ilk, pour on sauce, then cheese, and cook about 10 minutes.
Don’t forget to turn off your oven when you’re done.

Almost a pizza…but not: un-pizza week day 5

27 Jan


Thank you to all who followed along on un-pizza week! There will be more theme weeks in the future, including a waffle week and the second year of pumpkin-week-in-spring. In spring.

Anyway, hope un-pizza week was enjoyed. I’m taking Saturday off but will be back next week on Wednesday with your regularly scheduled posts twice a week.

And now, to take un-pizza week home, I am going home. Or rather to a blog written in my hometown.
When I happened upon this blog, written by someone in St. Louis I was an instant fan. Particularly because she is not native to St. Louis her fondness for the city seems genuine. And St. Louis is a terrific town.

And we will keep on keepin’ on. Even without Pujols.

Have you been to or are you from St. Louis? What do you think of it? Any favorite places? Please pretty please leave me a comment and tell me!
Of the many recipes of darling Natalie’s I have bookmarked, this one for a polenta pizza seemed easy and, well, I had the stuff to make it so…well minus the pepperoni seeing as I don’t eat that.

For you gluten-free folks(you’re so liberated! I’m gluten’s bitch), I think this is ok? There is no wheat, at any rate.
This is a knife and fork affair. But calling it pizza makes it taste better.
Polenta Pizza(from The Sweets Life blog)
1/2 cup cornmeal
2 1/2 cups H2O
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup diced red bell pepper
3 cups baby spinach
1/2 cup marinara(I used a roasted onion and garlic flavored pasta sauce)
1/4 tsp. dried oreganp
1/2 cup shredded mozzerella(I used reduced fat)
Spray a 9″ pie pan with nonstick spray. Put water, cornmeal and salt in a saucepan and stir it up well. Bring to a boil then stir constantly for several minutes until it is thick. Pour into pin pan and spread evenly, then cover and refrigerate until cold.
Spray a skillet, heat to medium-high then saute onion and bell pepper until soft, add spinach and stir until wilted.
Spread 1/2 cup marinara over the cornmeal base in the pie pan. Spread veggies on top and sprinkle with oregano. Place in 450 degree oven for about 10 minutes. Add cheese and bake a few minutes more.
Give a hefty grind of sea salt and pepper in there at some point.

Is there anything cuter than a muffin? Un-pizza week day 4

26 Jan

Yes:

A muffin being eaten by a Totoro. And not just any muffin. A pizza muffin. Take that cuteness and add a Totoro and you may need to call in back-up.

Cuteness kills.

According to my friend I fed these to, if Hot Pockets are your thing, these would rock your world.
I’m not sure if Hot Pockets were his thing, but he ate two of these. The only two I had left.

Between hungry males and Totoros I ran out of muffins fast.

Kidding, Totoro left that muffin for me. He’s a good friend like that.

Hot Pockets, yes or no? I’ve never eaten one.

Pizza Muffins(just barely altered from allrecipes.com posted by Kathy Henson)
1(14.5) can diced tomatoes
3/4 c. flour
1/4 c. wheat bran
1 Tbsp. baking powder
1 tsp. sugar
1 tsp. dried oregano
1/2 tsp. salt
1 egg
1/4 c. melted smart balance light
1/2 c. shredded reduced fat mozzerella
Drain tomatoes, reserving 1/4 c. fluid.
Sift together flour, powder, salt, sugar and oregano and whisk in wheat bran. Combine egg, smart balance, tomatoes and tomato liquid. Add to dry ingredients. Stir in cheese. Scoop into 6 jumbo muffin cups(I imagine you could use 12 regular sized ones too). Bake at 350 for about 20 minutes.
Feed to hungry males who like Hot Pockets.

Pizza Pancake: Un-pizza Day 3

24 Jan

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I love pancakes. But I tend to think of them as sweet and not savory.
Nevertheless.
This recipe for pizza pancakes fit my pizza theme.
Moreover.
It looked awesome.
All the same.
I knew I must make it.
It is vegan, until, like me, you add cheese. Unless it is faux cheese. I made one with melted mozzarella on top and one with a side of cottage cheese. I would be more likely to consider vegan-ism if there were a faux cottage cheese.

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I’m not sure these would quell any major pizza craving.
Also I’d say this is a single serving. It makes four small cakes.

What are your favorite vegan substitutes? Do you know if anyone makes a vegan cottage cheese?

Pizza Pancakes(adapted just a tad from Heather Eats Almond Butter)
1/2 c. old-fashioned oats
1/2 c. H2O
2 Tbsp. ground flaxseed
1 Tbsp. tomato paste
1/2 tsp. dried oregano
1/2 dash dried marjaram
1/2 tsp. dried basil
1/2 tsp. dried parsley
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. onion powder
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
Freshly ground salt and pepper
Grind oats to a flour in food processor. Combine all ingredients and allow to sit 10-15 minutes to thicken. Heat up a pan or griddle over low heat. Stir batter again, spray pan with non-stick element of your choosing and cook. Doctor them up as you see fit.

Dip it up: Un-pizza day 2

24 Jan

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If it doesn’t dip like a dip, is it still a dip?
Am I the only one who doesn’t really like the word dip? And dipstick. Yech. Something about it makes me shudder.

So while this could have been properly heated and used like a dip, I was having none of that.
I made a boatload of changes to the original recipe. I made little individual serving-lets, and baked rather than microwaved it. But feel free to double it and microwave in a pie pan if, unlike me, you have a shindig to bring it to. And people who want to get dippy wit it.
I used roasted red pepper instead of green bell pepper. I put all the mozzerella on top. There were probably a few other tweaks but I forget. So the recipe you are getting is a bit distant from the original. It is the un-pizza un-dip. That is a double negative that does not translate to a positive.
If it did it would end up like a real pizza with toppings that could be scooped with a celery stick.
I also let this chill after baking so I could unmold it and see the layers:

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Pretty! Colors! Better than dippy sludge, no?
Then I left some if it chilled(ain’t nothing like cold pizza!) and reheated the other part. The verdict is it is quite tasty both ways.
As I said, I didn’t get dippy with this. I did not even try to spread it. I ate it straight up, like my salsa. Except for this I used a fork.
Hot Pizza Dip(adapted from allrecipes.com, original recipe by Dayna Dumas)
4 oz. cream cheese
1/4 tsp. dried oregano
1/4 tsp. dried parsley
1/4 tsp. dried basil
Freshly ground black pepper
Dash sea salt
1 cup shredded low-fat mozzarella
1/2 cup tomato basil pasta sauce
1/2 jarred roasted red bell pepper, sliced into long strips
1 vegetarian Italian sausage, sliced
Mix cream cheese, herbs, black pepper and salt. Spread in two small bakers or ramekins. Cover with pasta sauce, then cheese, then red bells and sausage. Bake at 350 for…I dunno, awhile. Til it is bubbly and the cheese is browning is probably the best indicator.

Un-pizza week: day one

23 Jan

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Un-pizza!!
Because pizza week is too obvious. I’m such a rebel. Hear me yell.
Pizza-themed food that is not EXACTLY what we think of as typical pizza. It’s a brave new world of oregano flavored edibles.
Un-pizza comes in two main varieties:
Type A: Food that uses pizza flavors in different formats.
Type B: Food that uses a pizza format(solid, usually carb-y round base, spread with one or two things, with various vegetable or protein-y toppings scattered on top)but uses different flavors. I will be making mostly the former. Because a lot of the type B’s have no business using the word pizza in their name.

Example: A crisp tortilla, spread with beans, sprinkled with cheese and peppers? That is not a “Southwestern pizza”, people. It’s a tostada.

So get ready! There will be un-pizzas for pasta people, un-pizzas for anti-carb people, and ever so much more.
And as you eat them you can let that scream out. And bask in how outside the box you are.

How do you feel about Type A in-pizzas versus type B?

First up in Un-pizza week is a pizza-ish casserole. I adapted this recipe using what I had on hand from the allrecipes app called Pasghetti Pizza, posted by someone named KELMES.

I liked this. Obviously since I’m posting it. You should too. Smiley face.

Pizza Casserole(adapted from Pasghetti Pizza posted on the Allrecipes iPhone app by KELMES)
4 oz. rotini, cooked and drained
1/2 cup almond milk
1 egg
3/4 tsp. powdered garlic
3/4 tsp. salt
1 1/2 tsp. dried parsley
freshly ground black pepper
1 cup grated reduced fat mozzerella
1 3/4 c. tomato-basil pasta sauce
1 sliced vegetarian Italian sausage.
Preheat oven to 400. Spread both pastas in an 8×8 dish sprayed with nonstick spray.
Mix milk, egg, garlic, salt, pepper and parsley with 1/4 cup of the cheese. Pour over pasta. Sprinkle with 1/4 cup of cheese.
Baked 15 minutes. Reduce heat to 350 degrees. Pour pasta sauce on top, then top with sliced sausage and remaining cheese. Cook until cheese is melted.
Raaaawwwwwwrrrrr! That’s good stuff.

This should tide you over…

21 Jan

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A gratuitous cat picture and a joke. Yes, I’m pimping out my kitty Java(named because he is black which is how I like my coffee)I had in St. Louis for your entertainment, he still lives there in the Clifford castle aka my parents’ house. But I’m giving you a joke this weekend too! I am in the throes of prepping for an exciting, scrumptious, and dare I say it? I do. Grueling week. Normally I post on Wednesday or Thursday, and Saturday or Sunday.
Next week will be just a tad different because I am doing a themed week.
I present to you: UN-PIZZA WEEK!!
What is un-pizza? You’ll have to wait and see but it will be a new recipe every single day. People who like pizza should love it, and if you don’t there is a good chance you will too.

In the meantime I leave you with this appropriate joke and if you know any good pizza jokes, please leave them in the comments!

Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his pizza?

I dunno, why?

he had to eat it before it was cool.

See y’all Monday.

3.14159265358979…

17 May

That is, Pi. Which is, most importantly, a restaurant in St. Louis that serves pie. That is, pizza pie!
I was in my old hometown this weekend for the nuptials of the lovely Eleanor and the wedding food was brought in from Pi. Pi makes terrific deep dish(well they have thin crust too but I didn’t try it-crust is where it’s at!)pizza with a unique crust recipe including cornmeal. I had the Berkely, a deep dish with mozzarella, portobellas, onion, olives(that I picked off), bell peppers, garlic and zucchini. Phenomenal. But don’t take my word for it. Take our presidents. He loved it so much he’s had the chef flown in to cook it for White house staffers, and being as he is a Chicago man that says a lot. Go to Pi’s website
To learn how to get yourself some!