Tag Archives: sex

Octopuses

2 Sep

  
Hanging out with girls who try to make out with me has been a recurring theme to my late night LA drinking habit of late. Because apparently something in my demeanor says pansexual. I dunno. I mean I’m flattered but I digress because that has nothing to do with the wine I am talking about.

Oh! No I know why I was thinking sex thoughts. It is because I am reviewing another octopus wine and a friend of mine recently told me some rather lurid news. Did you know there was such a thing as tentacle porn? Holy shit there is. I have not looked because that thought rather terrifies me.
Let us move on. To the wine!

I give you The Argonaut, a sauvignon blanc by the same person (it is indeed one dude or so he says, hence the need for 8 arms) as The Tentacle.

Like me this wine is slightly rich and salty. Not that I am wealthy-rich, just sometimes full of it maybe? As for salty, well, see the “full of it” bit. Silly. But the wine is indeed rather rich for a white wine, and maybe it is the nautical influence, but I imagine the seas as I sip. It is brackish.

Golden, medium-bodied like my friend Leandra’s Corgi named Shipley (SHIPley!), and a bit fruity.

Like honey, if honey were in a salt mine and octopuses were in that mine with that wine. I fucking dig it. Ps the plural of octopus is indeed octopuses. Because it has Greek origins. It would have to be Latin to be “octopi”.

I smell overreach peach. I feel honeysuckle. I sense peach that has been macerated with some honey and salt, and that is good.

Medium bodied. Pears. Do pears blossom? If they do then this wine tastes of pear blossoms. I could drink the whole bottle but won’t. Wine is for sharing.

I never fake it

7 Nov

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BEFORE we get to the fake meat, two things:
1) Last night was a veritable orgy of my pie, wine, friendship and massive celebration at City Sip as we watched Obama win! I am so happy that we get him for the next four years.
2) I am excited to share that I was featured on a vegan blog. Shin’s Vegan Lovin’ is friggin’ adorable. Her vegan bento boxes will make you swoon. Not faint. Swoon. Her post featuring moi is found here.
So in honor of her, and her delightful vegan eats

Continue reading

First time

18 Jan

Don’t get yer hopes up. I meant the first time I used the big bowl of my Kitchenaid food processor. Although it is a sexy sexy red and I love it with a passion perhaps I should reserve for future lovers.
How did the consummation of our relationship play out?
Salsa success:

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Clean-up fail:

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Make your own dirty parallels.

Moving on.

Thank goodness I unplugged it before trying to take the bowl off. But I did not realize I should not try to remove the blade first. So much salsa spilled out the center hole. It did! Oh things going in holes. I’m going to get off this train while I’m ahead.
I never make salsa normally. You’d think I did. I eat it like crazy. With a spoon. Daily.
Sorry if that’s gross to you.
But I hate peeling tomatoes and Vons makes a terrific hot salsa.
Then I came across this recipe which called for using canned tomatoes(which I think are usually tastier than the fresh tomatoes you find at the store anyway) and decided I should give it a go.

I loooved it. With three o’s loved. The main change I made was using shallots instead of onions. I hate having onion breath. I have designs on making lots of variations now. I’m thinking a slug of Bufalo Chipotle sauce , maybe.

The more you do it, the better it gets. Both salsa making and the other.

Ever eat salsa
With a spoon? Please tell me I’m not alone on this.

From Pioneer Woman to Brown-Eyed Baker to me. Do I now stand With those bloggoddesses???
EasyEasyEasy Salsa(adapted from this here recipe on Brown-Eyed Baker who adapted from Pioneer Woman)
28 oz. can whole tomatoes with juice
2 10 oz. cans diced tomatoes with green chilies
1/4 cup chopped shallot, briefly soaked in water then drained
1 tsp. minced garlic
1 jalapeño, quartered then sliced
Juice of 1/2 a lime
Cilantro-tons and tons and then some more for good measure
1/4 tsp. Splenda
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 heaping tsp. ground cumin
Put all that goodness in our food processor and pulse til it is as chunky or watery as pleases you.