Mules! Where they are from you tell me

Awwww yeah bonus post for the love of the Moscow Mule!

Also love for the people who planned the event I got to go to  celebrating the mule. Being in wine class, I usually feel like I can’t waste drinking energy on vodka–BUT! The good people of Smirnoff offered me an uber to and from their “immersive speakeasy” event. 

That is smart. And good for the world at large as the less people taking to the roads tipsy the better. I mean I’d uber anyway but not really wanting to pay for it I might have just skipped the event. The uber was the last straw that got me out the door.

I had just a wee amount of fun. Evidence:

So, why am event? In the words of the brand:

 “2016 marks 75 years of America’s most Googled cocktail – The Moscow Mule.”

Most googled! I guess a lot of people wanna make sure they get it right so lemme break it down here, no web searching needed. 

It is: a shot of vodka, some lime juice and ginger beer. Whatever proportions you feel up to, really. On rocks. 

Now that you have a bev let’s have some history. Again, as told to me by the company:

“In 1941 dark spirits were king and it was extremely rare for anyone to order vodka. John G. Martin, the President of Heublein (now The Smirnoff Co.), was very frustrated that he couldn’t sell his product and expressed his frustration with Jack Morgan (the owner of a popular LA pub), and Morgan’s girlfriend, Ozeline Schmidt. Together, the trio came up with the idea of combining SMIRNOFF No. 21 vodka with Morgan’s ginger beer to create what’s now one of the most loved cocktails in the U.S.”

There ya go! .

It is rather tasty. I drank two at the party and met some people who were up for taking those silly pictures with me you saw. I art directed:

“Serious shot. Now joy! Anger at the mule. C’mon people workit!”

It was fun.

Surprise, surprise

Happy Thanksgiving!
The surprise is this…surprisingly delicious drink.
I know everyone has their menu for the big day set so I figured I’d give you a drink with some holiday-ish ingredients. It has cranberry juice anyway.

And lord knows a good pilgrim carries vodka.

First I will be self indulgent and say thanks for just a few of wonderful things in my life.
I am thankful:
That I can spew out whatever is on my mind, add a recipe, and that you read it.
For the most amazing and supportive family.
That I get to work as an actress in LA (see above).
That I have a fwife. That’s a friend who I’d marry if friends who know they will love each other unconditionally all of their lives could have a ceremony/celebration of their friendship.
That I have people in my life who are true friends.
For the public library, half a block away.
For my agent and manager.
That I have a group of people to practice improv with at long last.
That I get to visit Chicago and St. Louis for the holidays.
That people beyond my family have been eating the pie I bake.
That my folks take care of my kitty Java and he gets to frolic outside.
For free recipe apps.

All that is really the tip of the iceberg. I could go on. So let’s have a drink and rejoice in the abundance of the world. Sorry if this post is trite. But I get a bit maudlin around the holidays. Oh yes, vodka.

Given as how vodka drinks are dismissed as lame, unsophisticated, and tragically unhip these days, I was surprised how lovely this was. I’ll shut up and give you the recipe for this diminutive cocktail.

Robin’s Nest from the Drinks Free app
1 oz. vodka
1 oz. cranberry juice (I used a cranberry juice cocktail-double the cocktail for this cocktail, double the cock, double the fun)
1/2 oz. clear creme de cacao
Shake all over ice and strain into your drinking vessel of choice. Whee. Sip. Yea! Thank you.

Cosmania Day Six

Ok, the week has finished and I have learned what makes a Cosmopolitan work.

Yet my work is nevah evah done.

I found that the citron vodka is so very worth it. Pay the price, if an excellant Cosmo is what you desire. A bit more than half fresh lime juice to vodka works. Vodka and Cointreau in a 3:2 ratio. Provided you are using cranberry juice cocktail use equal parts of that and lime juice. And garnish with lime, not lemon.

But I was not satisfied. In my quest to perfect the Cosmo and give it the winning edge, I wanted to give it some brawn. Some might. The Cosmo has brains, but they are stifled by the insistance of society that Cosmos be relegated to woman.

So I added in a factor with a bit of machismo: Campari.

It is bitter. The stuff of Negronis. Now, it is also the stuff of not-just-a-drink-for-females.

The Mo-ellen.

I’d call it Moen but people would expect a hot and cold dial.

As a bonus I am throwing in a variation created by the lovely Alice.

Make it and love it. Know that you are no longer sipping a girl drink, you are drinking a universal elixir.

Oh yes.

The Mo-ellen(created by Ellen Clifford, for a little mo’ ellen in your life)
1/2 oz. Campari
1/2 oz. Cointreau
1 1/2 oz. citron vodka
1 oz. lime
1 1/2 oz. cranberry juice cocktail(your results will be even less sweet if you use regular juice)
Lime slice to garnish.
Shake up. Strain. Garnish. Sip.

For an Mo-Alicell top off with champagne. You lose a bit of macho but gain a bit of class.

Dark days

They aren’t over. Yet. They will be. Good things have happened in January.
Sometimes the best way to get over being down is to just indulge in it. Sulk. Get it out of your system.
I like to do this by indulging my goth-y roots. So, whilst wearing kick-arse stockings and blasting the musical stylings of the true love of my life, Trent Reznor(sorry, Bittman, you’re only my cookbook lover), I will console my angst with an equally dark dessert adult beverage: a chocolate black Russian.
It’s almost worth getting in a bad mood to make this.

What do you do for bad moods? Comment, guys, comment.

Chocolate Black Russian from the Drink Pro Lite App/strong>
1 oz. Kahlua
1/2 oz. vodka
2/3 c. Chocolate ice cream
Blend it. Sip it. Sigh. Apply black lipstick. Sigh again. Bad mood begone!

Try it, you might like it

Ever had a Black Russian? If you are a new vegan who misses White Russians, this one is for you seeing as Barnivore says Kahlua and certain brands of vodka are totally vegan.

On to important things, like me and my mood moody mood moods these days.

I should not complain. Really. In general I’m a spoiled rotten girl living the dream in sunny LA.

But for various reasons I’ve been particularly down this week.

What to do when one’s soul is dark?

Besides blasting Nine Inch Nails?
That’s a given.

And besides glaring while pouting like I’m doing for this pic:

I call this Glouting. It’s the goth cousin of smize-ing.

You make an equally dark adult beverage, that’s what.
And if the Joy the Baker Podcast is to be believed we should drink said cocktail in the shower.

Hopefully not at the same time as using baking soda to wash one’s hair. That could get dicey.

Extra credit from the dark underlords of gothness for using skull and crossbone ice cubes.

What do you eat or drink when bummed out?
Black Russian(from The Bar Book by Mittie Hellmich)
1 1/2 oz. vodka
3/4 oz. Kahlua
Lemon twist
Shake ingredients vigorously with ice. Strain into ice filled glass. Twist lemon peel over the top and drop in.
Pump up the NIN and relish the gloom.

Vodka. Crust. No, really, what more DO you want?

Well, I guess some of you would like a tasty pie filling. There is that.

I know I just recently gave you a word-y nerd post. Piedenfroid. Can I stay educational and give you a little science in this post?
It is about pie.
You are either a crust or a filling person. I am crust. Not only that but I now must tell you gourmands it’s all about the flour, Crisco and salt crust.
I wanted to give the flour/vodka/butter/Crisco/sugar/salt crust from Cook’s Illustrated a go though. Plus I had my brand new factory refurbished Kitchenaid food processor to put to work.
Ok, oops I was going to get science-y.
Sheesh. Science-y? Come on Clifford.
Scientific.
Pie crust texture and taste is a delicate balance. A lot of folks want an all butter crust for the taste. All crisco makes for a divinely flaky crust. The solution is often a mix of the two.
What up with the vodka? It’s a way to add moisture so you have a supple dough to roll, but that will evaporate during baking without developing gluten. Vodka has no taste so it’s as good as using water. Except better. Gluten is another thing that makes crust a wee but too sturdy.
Now don’t get me wrong. This crust was a dream to roll out. Putty in my hands. And it did taste good. But it was just not pie-crusty so much as cookie-y to me. You may prefer that. I do not. It ain’t right or wrong. Just a matter of preference. I hate to tell you to make something without butter or vodka.
By all means put butter on a piece of baked leftover shortening crust and do a shot. Get yer vodka and butter in. Those are important for your health.
I will stick with my butterless, sugarless shortening crust-though next time i may try using vodka.
Cheers!
What kind of crust do you dig?

My Crust(adapted from Betty Crocker)
1 1/3 cup flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 cup shortening
up to 1/4 cup cold water
Use a fork to toss together flour and salt. Add shortening and use fork to cut it in. Just press down and break up the shortening, o’er and o’er again until it starts to look like peas. One tablespoon at a time toss in water until the dough will stick together. Form into a disk, brush both sides with flour, dust more on a piece of parchment and place disk in center. Put another piece of parchment on top and roll out.

Getting Martha on your arse

Decided to make my own vanilla extract. That’s what Martha Stewart would do, no? Yes. The answer is yes.
I did not do this because I want to be Martha. Although I want to be a guest on her show and make pie with her while she interviews me about my acting escapades.
I made this partially to use a vanilla bean before it got old, and partially because the generic artificial vanilla I’d been using sort of sucked.
This is simple. One bean is halved, scraped, and added to a jar. All of it, pod and scrapings. Heat up some vodka and pour over bean. Vodka and beans. Yum yum. Put a lid on it. Shake every day for a week. Here is the extract day one:

And day seven:

And the finished product, jarred(in the bottle the bean came in-I don’t like to waste):

Thoroughly worth working up a sweat for. Plus it looks like a weird science experiment on your kitchen counter. I felt the need to explain it to anyone who came over that week lest they think I was keeping dirty twigs in jars. THAT would be special.

What is the most interesting kitchen experiment you have ever made? Inquiring mind of Ellen wants to know.

A Toast To a Blog Birthday

Happy Birthday Scrumptious Gruel! One year ago you started. I wanted to make you a cake. I did.
But my life has exploded in the happy doing work-that-I-love type of busy, so I made you a drink instead. Please forgive me. But I have to go off and play a ballerina in search of her missing leg, which was ripped from her by an evil doctor. The film is titled “Frankendancer”. Good clean fun. Actually it will be bloody fun.
I need a lot of energy to be playing a vengeance-filled one-legger hoofer.
So I went for an Espresso Martini.
Don’t worry. I drank this at night, at home. Not before heading off to the shoot. I’m thinking showing up drunk on set tipsy would not be a brilliant move on my part.
Actually, I didn’t even finish it myself. Too tired. anyway, happy birthday blog!
Espresso Martini(adapted from The Bar Book by Mittie Hellmich)
1 0z. vodka (enjoying the Sobieski)
1/2 oz. homemade vanilla extract(if it’s not homemade use 1 1/2 oz. vanilla vodka and omit plain vodka)
1/2 oz. strong coffee
1/2 oz. Kahlua
Stir all over ice. Strain into glass and garnish with espresso beans.

Next year, cake.

What is your favorite birthday treat?

I may vant to be alone…

…but I don’t like to drink alone, daaaahling. So it is a good thing I didn’t like this drink so I didn’t feel bad tossing it, one way or the other. I made it from a little guide a friend who had attended one of those bartending schools gave me. This drink was way too vodka-y. In a “is this rubbing alcohol or a cocktail?” sort of way. Or maybe my cheap vodka sucks. Entirely possible. Anyone got a brand to recommend?
If I liked drinking alone and I’d have doubled the amaretto and cream. Ok, so the drink:
God Child(Daughter) from Bartender’s Companion-no author listed
Build on the rocks:
1 1/2 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. amaretto
1/2 oz. cream
Incidentally a God father is scotch and amaretto and a God mother is vodka and amaretto. Apparently the God son is MIA. Or drunk and passed out after trying his sister’s drink.