You may and can and will have it ALL

All caps means it is soooo important.

What else is important?

Bread.

Cheese.

Butter.

Eggs.

Fucking waffles. Yeah waffles too.

I took a cheese sandwich, dipped it in savory French toast batter and put it in the waffle iron. I cracked open my old trustworthy Ravenswood and waited. I ate.

Things were good.

Here is what to do.

Waffles-French-Toasted-Grilled Cheese Sandwich Yeah

• 2 pieces of bread
• 1-2 oz cheese
• 1 egg
• 2/3 cups half n half
• Dash salt
• More butter!!
• Big bottle of red

Heat the waffle iron. Whisk the egg, half and half and salt. Slice tiny slivers of cheese. Sadly you cannot put the cheese on too thickly or it’ll ooze into the waffle maker, so slice thinly. Put it on one piece of the bread. Put another slice of bread on top. Butter both sides. Then put into the waffle iron and cook away. Meanwhile open red wine. Ooh and ahh at your life. It is worth it. 

Something’s coming

Duuuuude, I’m taking next week off from the blog.

I’m swamped. On set as we speak. Write. Read?

But! Coming up a week from Monday is the Second Annual Pumpkin Week in spring!

Just when you least suspected.

The picture is of my pumpkin colored walls. Due the the way the light filters through my curtains it’s always sunset in my bedroom. Except at night.
For color ceases to exist sans light.

I think I had approximately 2 readers for last spring’s pumpkin week so I’ll recap how the first year went.

Day one: cracked open a can of pumpkin and grilled that mother.

Day two: shook it up

Day three: still shake-ish but prettier

Day four:
Not even.

Day five: the grand finale

There have been other delights of punkin’ nature:
Pumpkin Chia Pudding

As well as pumpkin bars, time dos:

A muffin:

And of course, pumpkin pie:

So take the next week to relax, buy some pumpkin, catch up on your reading, go hiking and get ready. Pumpkin week is on it’s way.
Got a favorite pumpkin recipe? Feel free to link to it in the comments! Yah.

Waffle Week Day 6: dessert last

Today is the last day of waffles! My fondest hope is that you will go get a waffle iron already because so very much can be done with it. I didn’t even get to waffling sandwiches. Which if you do you should spread pimiento cheese between two pieces of buttered bread and waffle away.
After you waffle that sandwich, then you can make dessert. Like a proper sentient creature does.

Oh yes. Cookies.

At some point maybe I’ll try waffling actual cookies. Crazy thought. They’d have to be soft ones.
In the meantime I found this recipe for Chocolate Tic-Tac Doughs in the Pillsbury Poppin’ Fresh Homemade Cookies book I’ve had since sixth grade.

Poppin’. These better be some groovy snacks.

Please note my initial attraction to this recipe came from the words “dough” and “chocolate”. Done. And done. And how.

The recipe claimed they were “especially delicious eaten warm”. I must disagree. I may be the only person I know who can do without chocolate that has been heated. To me this dilutes the chocolate taste. I tasted a hot one and it was meh. Maybe it would be better with butter. Everything is better with butter spread on it.
I chilled the remainder of the cookies. Once chilled, the chocolate and the almond flavor from the extract really stood out. Then I got a bowl of ice cream and some Reddi-whip. I put a cookie at the bottom of the bowl and layered with stuff on top and let the cookie soak up some of the melt-y creams. I layered in more cookies. This was like a smashing chocolate cookie trifle. Yeah, baby. Do this. I’ll give you the recipe:
I halved and altered this a bit based on what I had. And to make it healthier-ish.
Chocolate Tic-Tac Doughs(based on a the Pillsbury Poppin’ Fresh Homemade Cookies recipe)
1 T. +1 tsp. splenda half bown sugar blend
1 T. Smart Balance
1 1/2 tsp. almond extract
1 1/2 tsp. plain unsweetened almond milk
2 T. beaten egg
1 T. whole wheat flour
4 T. + 1 tsp. white flour
2 tsp. dutch process cocoa powder
1/2 tsp. baking powder
Blend sugar, Smart Balance(if you have butter on hand, use it), almond extract, almond milk and egg. Do not fear the curdled look.
Blend remaining ingredients then stir in until well mixed. Drop by the teaspoon on heated and sprayed waffle iron.
Cook. Chill. Eat. Repeat.

Question of the day: How do you take your chocolate? Hot? Dark? Milk-y? Chip form? And am I the only one who can do without heated chocolate?

Waffle week day 5: Cause I could

I used leftover egg/milk mixture from my housewife waffles to waffle-ify a cracker. A bran cracker. Oddly good. With butter. Duh.

Waffle Week Day 3: my normal eats all in one waffle. or not. fail.

Things I consume on an almost daily basis:
oatmeal
cottage cheese
protein powder
cinnamon
eggs
Also in the mix:
vanilla extract
So what would my favorite work-a-day foods taste like blended and cooked on a waffle iron?
I couldn’t tell you:

I am sure Janetha, writer of the lovely blog Meals and Moves from which this recipe came, could.
I was all ready to dig these Protein Waffles and I am blaming failure on the fact that when I made this I was but a fledgling waffle-woman. However!

Wise wise Janetha of the rock-hard abs said I could make it into pancakes instead.
So I did. With the remainder of the half-recipe of batter I’d made. Then I decided to get cocky and flip the first pancake. More fail.
That fail was totally my fault. So I did not take a picture.
Trying not to dwell on my shortcomings.
Finally I managed one pancake:

Pretty much equal parts oats, protein powder, cottage cheese and egg whites with flavorings added.

Perhaps too much of a good thing just overwhelmed my waffle maker.

Perhaps my waffle maker is acting up because it wants a name. It just wants to be loved too. I will have to dwell on this.

On to what we should all really care about: taste.
Seeing as I love all these ingredients, the fact that it tasted delectable makes sense.
Ah, logic.
If I continue to follow logic I wouldn’t name my iron. I’d buy a new waffle iron-I’m pretty sure the reason I’ve been having sticky issues is simply that it is really, really old.

Do tell me, o blog readers: have you named any household appliances?

Waffle Week Day 2: why has no one else done this

Wafflegg!
Next time I’ll use more than one egg.
But seriously. Why has no one else extolled the joys of being able to cook an egg like this? I think it’s pretty friggin’ awesome. Oh yes I do.
So get out your waffle iron and get to wafflegging!
Wafflegging. It’s the verb to know in 2012.

In case you were curious, the 2011 noun was piedenfroid.

Know it.

Gateway: Waffle Week!

It’s here! The long awaited waffle week hath arrived!
Lest anyone think this week was influenced by a recent spate of waffles on Bon Appetit or the kitchn’s sites, I’ll have you know I conceived this idea ages ago here, on May 23rd 2011 to be precise, and have been hoarding waffle recipes ever since.

Neither a joiner nor a follower. Just an accidental follower.

I must confess I amassed these waffle recipes over an embarrasing length of time. A girl can only waffle so much. Or can she?

The debate wages on.

A great deal of things are waffle-able, and the waffle-ization improves not only taste, but the also appearance. The looks of food can be highly influential on how we perceive their taste. Check out my science-y post here for more on that.

By the way, Webster definition of science-y is science lite.

Disclaimer: the previous statement is in fact false.

I wanted to see just how far I could push myself with the waffler. Cause I’m a doer. But this did not happen suddenly. There was a gateway waffle. The waffle that started it. I’m warming y’all up with that before I push the hard stuff.

Who better to get us loose and easy than my lovah, Mark Bittman.

Everyday Buttermilk Waffles(adapted from How to Cook Everything Vegetarian by Mark Bittman)
1/2cup flour
1/2 cup oatmeal
Pinch of salt
1 Tbsp. sugar
3/4 tsp. baking soda
14 Tbsp. buttermilk
1 egg, separated, white beaten into sweet surrendering soft peaks
2 Tbsp. melted smart balance light
1/4 Tsp. vanilla extract
Mix the flour, oats, salt n suga. The soda too. Don’t you forget it.
In another bowl mix the butta milk, egg yolk, melted pseudo-butta(smart balance) and vanilla. Stir liquid into dry and fold in egg white. Cook according to waffle maker instructions. Who am I to tell you how to work your iron. That’s a personal choice.

Waffling

For the pumpkin week finale, I give you PUMPKIN WAFFLES! Yumyumyum:

I decided that the heartache I’ve been experiencing of late could not possibly have anything to do with my real life, and that OBVIOUSLY I had been neglecting, and was missing my true cookbook love: Mark Bittman. I know, he’s married but I think a cookbook affair is ok, yah? Did that even make sense? Enough already, moving on.
I perused How to Cook Everything Vegetarian for a pumpkin recipe to finish out Pumpkin Week and voila! Pumpkin Waffles. So good. So good, in fact that I am not giving the recipe because you need to buy the book.
I think the next theme week I do will be Waffle Week where I put anything I can think of in the waffle iron. I’ve made waffled french toast and toasted sandwiches before but I want to see what happens with tortillas and a waffle iron. Plus Mark has more waffle recipes for me. I’ll welcome suggestions too. So look for that in about a week!