The Bridgid plus showbiz

23 Feb


You guys I promise in a month when GIRLS is over I will get back to posting non-drink recipes. In the meantime…Please make The Bridgid:
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Modeled after a cocktail Bridgid really liked at Basic, a bar in Brooklyn.
If you just want the recipe go about 6 minutes 45 seconds in.
Girl on GIRLS is hobbling along. We got to be special guests on a much larger after show last week which was wicked exciting! And this week comedian Rakefet Abergel is our special guest so that’s nifty.

In other acting news I had a part in a legit movie (starring Rosanna Arquette-the Oscar winner Patricia’s sis and most importantly, star of “Desperately Seeking Susan”)
That also was wicked exciting.

And I’m gonna do some sketch comedy I wrote in March. Woot! And wicked. Bridgid will be in that with me so get to the Nerdist theatre in March for some funny.

And then there is just the ample booze to cover my pain.

The Bridgid made up by me with assistance of THE Bridgid
Makes 2 cocktails
First, put just a tiny smidgen of absinthe in each coupe, swirl and dump (or if you are me, drink, the excess). Put in freezer until ready to strain.
Next, stir over ice and strain into a chilled coupes:
1 oz. citron vodka
3 oz. gin
1 1/2 oz. Campari
1 oz. dry vermouth (I use Martini and Rossi)
1 oz. Cointreau
6 dashes Peychaud’s bitters

The Pink-ies Up, or, When I Went to Teavana

30 Jan

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Well crap. I found another food rabbit hole I could see myself going down. Or maybe I should say another sensory rabbit hole–I did a perfume smelling recently that was so similar to wine tasting that I would have left intoxicated even if my friends had not poured a round of port to keep our mouths occupied whilst our noses did the heavy lifting.

But perfume is a rabbit hole for another blog. I wanted to learn of tea. Actually that’s not true. I hadn’t thought much about tea then Teavana was all “come play with teas with us” and I all like “totes!” Except you know that is sort of a lie because I would never say totes in a non-ironic sense of the word. I just said “yes”.

And then I said “extra yes please” (to myself anyway) as I contemplated the tea cocktail possibilities. Fast forward to about 6 minutes 45 seconds to see the cocktail. Or watch it all because we’re funny and stuff:

Let’s start with the Teavana wrongs: so corporate.

Okay I am done.

What Teavana gets right: The passion of the people making tea there. The pure rock sugar crystals they gave me to add to my ever-growing sugar collection (I’ve got nine types of sugar now). The really uber-cool tea brewer thingamajig where you load sweetener and tea in and let er’ rip then set the sucker down on top of your cup and like magic it drains out the bottom into the vessel you will bear to your thirsty lips.
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Oh and feast your eyeballs on these big ol’ containers of rock. Sugar:
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And then the tea blends. They are pure products. I was tempted to actually snack on some such as the citrus lavender sage blend. Hunks of dried fruit in an herbal and mildly herbal blend? Yes please. Another snack tea was the (unfortunately) excellent peppermint white chocolate blend. Unfortunate because I would sooooo turn up my nose at it if it didn’t smell like heaven and make as good an ice cream topping dry as it does steeped in to tea submission.

They have a good thing going there. A whole wall full of flavors that can be mixed and matched and sniffed and swirled. It was like wine tasting but I didn’t need a designated driver.

Enough of the praise. Let’s booze this shiz-nit up! Because I hate driving enough to create a situation requiring a driver. I made a cocktail with gin and the grapefruit strawberry green tea blend I brought home. I added homemade limoncello and fresh grapefruit juice. Lastly came a dose of bitters, and eventually (as you will see in the video) an extra garnish. So WATCH if you haven’t yet. Ooh, and making a pink cocktail gave reason to make a punny name for me tea-based drink: The Pink-ies Up

Funtimes! Happy! Come fetch my tipsy arse and take me home dear driver!

The Pink-ies Up an original Ellen Clifford tasty delight
For infused gin:
1/2 cup gin (I like Hendrick’s)
1 1/2 tsp. strawberry grapefruit green tea mix
Steep for about 45 minutes then strain. You’ll know the time is right when the gin is pink.

For the drink:
1 1/2 oz. infused gin
1/2 oz. freshly squeezed pink or red grapefruit juice
1 oz. limoncello
4 dashes Angostura bitters
extra dry tea mix to garnish
Shake all but the extra tea with ice. Strain into chilled glasses. Sprinkle on some dry tea.

Pink-ies Up!

The WOManhattan, a Classic Cocktail for Girls (and boys)

26 Jan

THE LATEST. Because I cannot help but be puny.

And some people have two cherries.

THE WOManhattan
2 oz. Maker’s Mark Bourbon
1 oz. sweet vermouth (I used Martini and Rossi)
Lots of angostura bitters
2 Luxardo cherries
Stir bourbon, vermouth and bitters over ice. Strain into chilled coupes and add cherries.

The Graduette

19 Jan


I am so stinking proud. I loved last week’s episode but I LURVE this week.
I know this drink sounds weird but it is in fact realllll good. And this episode is purty fun.
You learn what goths drink. And it is hard to beat that on a Monday night.

The Graduette an original by Ellen Clifford
2 oz. red wine (Ravenswood Zinfandel)
1 oz. gin (Beefeater)
1/2 oz. Cointreau
1/2 oz. Drambuie
Scant half oz. Purely Syrup Habanero flavor
Club soda
Shake all but the soda. Strain over a big ice cube and top with a dash of club soda.

Girls on GIRLS hath arrived

13 Jan


Behold. Enjoy. I hope. You’ll learn to make an adult beverage!

If you did enjoy, then make the drink I teach how to make. If you didn’t ditto.

The Little Iowa
adapted from a cocktail I was taught by a “a nice bar man” at Bar Ama aka home of the best queso outside Texas
2 1/2 oz. Templeton Rye
1/2 oz. sweet vermouth (I used Martini and Rossi)
3/4 oz. Cynar
frozen red grapes to finish
Stir over ice and strain into a chilled coupe. Garnish with frozen grapes.
Feel the Iowa.

YUVE Got Smoothie

21 Dec

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I confess I half live off smoothies. Therefore it is only fair I share what I’ve been drinking, because I am thoroughly addicted. I should also share that my smoothies are so thick and rich they require bowls and spoons and really it’s more like I made myself soft-serve. Except this soft serve has redeeming health factors. My most frequent concoction is a beet-cherry-chocolate protein extravaganza and it is tremendous.

I was inspired to get off my lazy bum and get around to writing this because I got to try some tasty new protein powder made by a very cool and possibly even tastier woman.

I have been using MRM Veggie Protein, to which I thought I’d never find an equal in terms off decent vegan protein powders. AKA ones that are not chalky. But I did! YUVE is danged tasty. I’m also pimping it here because it has a cool origin story.

And chia seeds.

But origin first:
Once upon a time a woman left Russia for New York City. Her name was Lola. She wasn’t a showgirl but she danced. Except ballet. This stunning makes-me-rethink-being-hetero woman, Lola Sherunkova, wanted a quick enjoyable way to get nutrients and such in the Big Apple.

Lola talked to a nutritionist who recommended a rather large list of nutrients. I do not blame her for not wanting to take a gajillion supplements a day. If I were as gorgeous and brilliant as she ALL my time would be spent lounging nonchalantly while lithe goth men held my parasol for me. Fortunately for you Lola was much more enterprising. And YUVE was born.

My only wish is that it came in more than just the one chocolate-raspberry flavor. Mainly because then I could have even more excuses to use it. Because when you can’t decide between two flavors of shake you are forced to just have both. I am surprised I didn’t overdose on chewable vitamins when I was a kid.

Anywho, I am a big proponent of female owned and created business, and Lola is truly one of those came-from-nothing success stories. It helps that her product is great too. Go Lola! Big hugs. And such. And…more?!

Ps I too am creating my own shiz-nit. It is a web show. It involves making drinks and talking about the show “Girls”. That premieres January 11th so “Girls on Girls” should be out on January 12th. We made the pilot episode in the meantime which you can see here:

I beg of you to subscribe to the channel. Or SHARE it on Facebook or Twitter or whatever social media you like. Youtube makes it super easy to do that. It won’t force you to watch or anything. You’ll just see it in your list of subscriptions.

Now more YUVE. I tasted YUVE unadulterated first. Just to see. It was great. Then I started plugging it into favorite smoothie recipes. Like the one that follows. Also delish. Addictively so.

Here be what I make:
Beety Choco-Cherry (plus occasional raspberry) Smoothie
1 few small cooked beets or one big one
1/2 cup dark sweet cherries (I get them in the freezer aisle)
1 serving chocolate protein powder or YUVE chocolate raspberry protein powder
1 Tbsp. Cocoa powder
Dash salt
A squirt or so of liquid stevia (NuNaturals is the one type I’ve found not to be bitter)
Heavy dash of almond extract
1/4 cup cottage cheese (omit if you are vegan)
7-ish crushed ice cubes
1 cup water or chocolate almond milk
Blend it good. If not thick enough either stick in the freezer a little while or blend in some anthem gum

Pssst! I got YUVE for free. But would not be telling you about if I didn’t think it was worth it. I’m ordering more for myself!

How To Find The One

5 Dec

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We’re all on a quest for the one. Let’s go all caps on that–THE ONE. The One that will complete us, reflect our best self, that will make us a better person. The One our friends will love being with almost as much as us. The One we can take home to our families. The One we can’t wait for our parents to meet at Thanksgiving dinner. The One. You know…The Pie.

This pie is my One. I would like to think it reflects me-delicate on the outside, but multilayered, sweet yet tart, complex, relatively perfect if untidy…friends asked me to make this pie for them to take to parties I can’t even attend. That isn’t an exaggeration. This is the pie I’ll go out of my way to share. And my family adores it. They’d ask it back to dinner and send it Christmas cards even if we broke up.

There were 5 pies at this last Thanksgiving. I made a pumpkin pie. A guest brought a yogurt-pumpkin pie and some sort of pineapple-coconut confection. My aunt made an amazing pecan pie that actually made me like, nay, flipping’ crave pecan pie for the first time in my life. And then there was also…MY PIE.

A total of 11 guests were present at dinner. Naturally there were leftovers of everything. Except MY PIE. That got devoured. We sent some leftovers of other pie home with guests, yet still had portions of three leftover pies. But as I said, not My Pie. THE PIE. The One. Through that evening’s haze of sugar and alcohol my family insisted that I make another one the next day. And even once clear-headed the next morning, in the frigid air of St. Louis, my family was willing to go to the store to get more cranberries, apples and flour. I promise there are no drugs in My Pie. Love, perhaps. Once you get it you don’t wanna be without.

How do you find The One? Time and an open mind. I’m sorry to say there is no Tinder for pies. Unless you count the epicurious app? This pie really came to be because of a shortage of necessary ingredients. Rather than abandon plans for my stellar apple pie, I rummaged in the fridge. Despite Thanksgiving performance anxiety (this is NOT the time you want to screw up) I made an adaptation or two or four from the recipe I was going to use and created the first iteration of this pie. Then over the years our relationship has blossomed. But I knew from first bite it was gonna be My Pie. Sometimes love is so easy.

I have come to believe in butter crust for most things but I stand by the shortening crust for this one. It is the perfect delivery system for the filling and topping. Let me compare it to an exquisite bit of brie you are going to eat on a cracker, perhaps with a touch of quince paste or something. You need the right combo of sounding board, ooze, salt and sweet. If you put the cheese on a massive flavorful cracker that cracker is all you will taste. This is also why I don’t like a lot of sandwiches-it is hard to get the bread to work in harmony with the filling. But for that Brie a thin, delicately perfect bit of toasted baguette? It’s bland on its own, but transforms when paired with its toppings. That is how I see it with crust. To each pie it’s own crust style. And My Pie goes shortening. As a super-duper bonus, if you use a vegan butter substitute in the streusel this pie will be vegan. Not that that made Moby give it awards, alas.

I’m debating whether I should tell you my secret ingredient. Hmmm. Okay, I’m gonna leave one ingredient vague in the directions. It seems small but this ingredient IS THE DIFFERENCE that makes it My Pie. Whoever guesses what, of the one vague thing, is the secret and can guess what I use gets drinks with me if the timing is right. Or just my utmost respect for their culinary acumen. We’ll see. But I’ll keep an open mind. My Pie and I have an open relationship.

THE PIE
crust:
1 1/3 cup unbleached all-purpose flour (I stir and spoon into the cup), plus extra for rolling
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 cup shortening (I shamelessly use Crisco)
cold water
Whisk the flour and salt together. I use a fork to whisk. I know. Add the shortening and use your fork to cut in until floury lumps are forming the size of, say, a cocoa puff. Some can be bigger, some smaller. Feel it out. Now, sprinkle a few tablespoons of cold water over and toss it in. It will go further than you think. Add more water bit by bit until the dough is just sticking together. Don’t chill this dough or it will be really hard to roll. I just sprinkle some flour on a piece of parchment paper and roll it out there until it is big enough for the pie plate. Lift it up periodically and sprinkle more flour between the dough and parchment as needed. Now fold in half and gently ease in the pie plate. I use a Pyrex. If you are like me and not good at getting a perfect circle you may have to do a bit of patchwork on your crust but don’t worry. Cut off and/or patch in enough dough to get the same length of dough on the rim of the plate all the way around. You can make a pinched crust or use a fork to make a pretty crust but it will taste good no matter what you do. Put that sucker in the freezer.
For streusel:
1 cup unbleached all-purpose flour
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1/2 cup butter (or vegan butter-y stick)
Put it all in a bowl and get in there with your hands. Pinch it together until it looks pebbly. I feel like you will know when it is right. Just picture what the top of streusel pies look like. That is how it should look. Put the bowl in the fridge whilst you cobble up the filling.
For filling:
2 granny smith apples
2 macintosh apples
some citrus fruits for squeezing (do not use jarred juice)
2 cups cranberries, fresh or frozen
1 1/4 cups white sugar
1/3 cup unbleached all-purpose flour
pinch salt
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
pinch of allspice and/or cloves
pinch of ginger
Cinnamon, as you are in the mood for. around a heaping tsp., if you need a ballpark figure.

Heat the oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit.
Start with the apples but have the citrus halved and on the ready. Peel the apples, cut into quarters, cup each quarter into a few long slices then halve those. Every time you put a handful or or of apple into the bowl give a hefty squeeze of citrus juice and toss it until the apples are coated. Repeat, until they are chopped. Mix in the rest of the ingredients. Take the crust out of the freezer and put the filling in. Make sure the apples and cranberries distribute evenly and there aren’t any weird nooks. Take the streusel out of the fridge and strew it on, pretty evenly. Put in the oven. If worried about overflow you can put the pie plate on a baking tray. After about twenty minutes check the pie. The minute the streusel starts to get brown tent aluminum foil over the whole thing. Trust me, if you don’t your streusel will burn. Keep the pie baking about 45 minutes total. Delish.

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